About thathayygurl : I'm a nerd. Nuff said.
About thathayygurl : I'm a nerd. Nuff said.
thathayygurl's FML badges
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thathayygurl's favorite FMLs
Today, I was at the movies. All of a sudden, the woman next to me starts laughing uncontrollably and talking to her friend during the movie. This continued throughout the movie, ruining it. I turned and whispered to my friend. The woman then taps me on the shoulder and yells, "Shut the fuck up!" FML
by fmlatmovies / 07/25/2009 at 11:07am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went on a date with a girl. She drove while texting someone then stopped at a house and told me to wait in the car. She left her phone so I looked at the last text and it says "I'm here for the quicky". Our "date" was a decoy to throw her mom off so she could sleep with another guy. FML
by Anonymous / 07/19/2009 at 8:44am / United States (California) / Love
Today, my friend awoke me because I was talking in my sleep. When I asked her what I was talking about she replied with, "Let's just say you were having tea with the Queen of England. And a duck. You're really good at quacking." FML
by MadMax / 07/16/2009 at 10:59am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my daughter turned 11. Since she LOVES Harry Potter, I decided to write her an acceptance letter to Hogwarts. When she saw the letter, she screamed and showed me. When she found out I wrote it, she told me she hated me, started crying, and stepped on my foot. FML
by notawizard / 07/16/2009 at 6:16am / Spain (Catalonia) / Kids
Today, I proposed to a girl I'd been in love with for 6 years. I filled the balcony of the building where I'd first laid eyes on her with innumerable roses and, under the starlit sky, I did it. She later posted on facebook 'OMG. This geek I knew from high school did the FUNNIEST thing today'. FML
by JackOLantern / 07/13/2009 at 4:16pm / Satellite Provider / Love
Today, my boyfriend of a month had to leave early. I asked him why and he replied that his brother was getting off the bus and he needed to feed him. I had never met his brother, and I said "He can't feed himself? What is he, retarded?" He is. FML
by Anonymous / 07/09/2009 at 8:19pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend of 5 years admitted why his pet name for me is "his beautiful swan". Apparently, the first few years we were dating, he and his friends secretly referred to me as "the ugly duckling" because my sister was so much hotter. FML
by Anonymous / 07/09/2009 at 1:50pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, I thought my boyfriend of 6 years was going to propose to me. We're highschool sweethearts and he was my first. Just when he was looking into my eyes he says, " I've been seeing someone else for 2 years and I'm choosing her over you... it was a tough decision". FML
by imaloser / 07/06/2009 at 7:27pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, I was coming home from a date, I saw my ex standing in my drive-way. He had dumped me 2 months ago saying he couldn't talk me. To make him jealous, I made out with my new guy before greeting him. Turns out he couldn't talk to me because he had had cancer and had been afraid to tell me. FML
by Foster_Em / 07/04/2009 at 12:38am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, my daughter asked me what is the youngest age at which you should start having sex. Being a good mom, I said that she shouldn't have sex until after she's been married. My daughter then said, "Oh... shoot," and walked away. My daughter is twelve. FML
by blazer / 06/29/2009 at 8:40pm / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy
by baron / 06/01/2009 at 1:36pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
Today, I was partnered with this really sexy guy for an audition. He says, "Am I really stuck with you? I can't even stand being seen with you in public!" I start cursing him out really loud, but then I realize that he's only reading the script. Everyone was staring, and he called me a crazy bitch. FML
by jazzyfizzle / 05/30/2009 at 9:13pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, my dad asked me to unpack the groceries he'd brought home. When he saw me come across a bottle of lube, then he told me how my mom had hit menopause and, as a result, her vaginal dryness made sex harder for the two of them. FML
by Anonymous / 05/22/2009 at 4:18am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
by TayTay / 05/16/2009 at 3:52am / United States (Washington) / Love
Today, I was standing on the packed bus home when I had a speck of dust in my lenses. As I couldn't rub it out, I tried blinking it out for the next five minutes. Then the hot girl opposite me screams "Stop winking at me, you bastard! Don't even think about it, you ugly fuck!" FML
by ballerphilip23 / 05/15/2009 at 1:11pm / Austria (Wien) / Transportation
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…