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thanks_asshole

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  • Number of visits : 997
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>Discarnate</b> - the 05/20/2012 at 7:15pm<b>sadistmonkey</b> - the 12/31/2011 at 3:42pm<b>raphanne</b> - the 12/26/2011 at 7:24pm

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thanks_asshole's favorite FMLs

Today, a woman at work was complaining about her weight. She looked pretty thin, so to make her feel better, I said that she looked small. She said "Well, you haven't seen me naked." For some reason, I replied, "Not that you know of." FML

#20417936
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15092) - you deserved it (34933)

On 12/24/2012 at 1:37am - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I received my soccer team jacket that I ordered a month ago. Trying to save money, I'd selected the "no name" option to avoid an extra $20 embroidering fee. My jacket now has "NO NAME" spelled out on the side of it, and I was charged the extra $20 dollars after all. FML

#20415162
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39006) - you deserved it (7192)

On 12/23/2012 at 12:01am - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, I sneezed my jaw out of socket. Yes, this is possible. FML

#19899616
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28564) - you deserved it (1835)

On 07/06/2012 at 11:03am - misc - by hotpatata - United States

Today, I saw my mom changing the expiry date on milk. She genuinely thought this would make the milk sour later. FML

#19759587
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24281) - you deserved it (1820)

On 06/09/2012 at 9:54am - health - by WTF (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my brother, the plumber, was called to unblock a toilet. Whenever this occurs, he takes a photo of it and sends it to me. It always seems to happen around meal time. FML

#19743294
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19735) - you deserved it (1856)

On 06/06/2012 at 8:55am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I walked in on my roommate trying to smoke a Mars bar. FML

#19737308
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18308) - you deserved it (2085)

On 06/05/2012 at 5:03am - misc - by holyshart - United States

Today, my girlfriend stuck her finger up my butt while giving me a hand-job, promising it would feel really good. It just felt awkward and made me need to poop. FML

#19703392
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34968) - you deserved it (8638)

On 05/30/2012 at 5:46am - intimacy - by Brax (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I went mini golfing with his family. We had a competition going on, and when I managed to get two consecutive holes in one, he started seething and muttered that I'm dangerously close to becoming single. FML

#19652024
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22658) - you deserved it (2642)

On 05/20/2012 at 2:20pm - misc - by Jacquelinez (woman) - United States

Today, I was reading a book on paper for the first time in maybe a month. I had to stop at a word I did not recognise. Because I'm so used to using a Kindle, I tried to get the definition by pressing it. I had my finger on the word for a few seconds before I realised it was paper. FML

#19637178
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6830) - you deserved it (35183)

On 05/17/2012 at 2:57pm - misc - by Bilze - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML

#19631928
474 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47108) - you deserved it (4368)

On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)

Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML

#19561833
329 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14191) - you deserved it (51159) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/02/2012 at 1:06am - love - by Flip (woman) - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I was watching a boys volleyball team warming up, and I had my eye on one of them who was quite attractive. He sent the ball a little too far and it hit me in the face. He apologized, and I then for some reason replied with, "It's fine, I like balls in my face." FML

#19475030
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19149) - you deserved it (36672)

On 04/15/2012 at 9:13pm - intimacy - by lifeonfire12 (woman) - Canada

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

#19463606
582 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13063) - you deserved it (54029) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

#19343662
362 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39382) - you deserved it (12179)

On 03/25/2012 at 8:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was suffering from a persistant, irritating itch on my butthole. Worried, I took a picture with my iPhone to get an idea of what was causing said itch. I never found the source, but my Mum and grandmother did, on the iPad. Thanks, Photo Stream. FML

#19208526
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12229) - you deserved it (27290)

On 03/03/2012 at 11:12am - health - by Buttscratcher (man) - United Kingdom



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