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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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tehaarontimothy

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tehaarontimothy
  • Town/Country : durham, united states
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 18 December 1986 (25 years)
  • Number of visits : 5262
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About tehaarontimothy : im just an average guy, http://www.myspace.com/aaronheartcore

tehaarontimothy's last visitors

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tehaarontimothy's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

tehaarontimothy's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out just how thin the walls at my new student flat are. They are so thin in fact, that I can hear the creepy guy next door say my full name over and over again very slowly whilst masturbating rigorously. FML

#2738282 (309)

I agree, your life sucks (84986) - you deserved it (2928)

On 06/09/2009 at 9:36am - intimacy - by SleepyKirsty (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I asked a girl out and made plans to go see a movie. About 5 minutes in, I made a move to put my arm around her and smashed her in the face. FML

#2733266 (110)

I agree, your life sucks (14462) - you deserved it (31260)

On 06/09/2009 at 1:45am - love - by Ryan746 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had a date with this really cute guy. He invited me over to make dinner at his place. Eventually we end up in his bedroom to have sex. He pulls down my panties and says, "You need to shave that shit." FML

#2734034 (457)

I agree, your life sucks (44929) - you deserved it (48047)

On 06/09/2009 at 1:27am - intimacy - by lagirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was camping. Me and this really cute girl were hitting it off real nice. It was the last night so we both headed over to my tent to have sex. I was just about to get it in when a raccoon ripped my tent causing the girl to scream and runaway. I got cockblocked by a raccoon. FML

#2729024 (149)

I agree, your life sucks (59382) - you deserved it (6145)

On 06/08/2009 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by Baggabbles123 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it was my two-and-a-half year anniversary with my girlfriend, a small but noble occasion. She surprised me with an invention of hers, a plate of triple-chocolate double-mint cookies topped with Andes mints. I surprised her by crashing her new Mustang into a cement divider. FML

#2724554 (164)

I agree, your life sucks (12646) - you deserved it (31889)

On 06/08/2009 at 5:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to find a date for this banquet we did in my town every year. I paid my neighbor 40 bucks an hour to be my date. It was a 4 hour event. Best part: she got drunk and told the whole town I was paying her. FML

#2720571 (132)

I agree, your life sucks (12281) - you deserved it (40362)

On 06/08/2009 at 2:44pm - love - by twowords (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years proposed to me. I wasn't expecting anything too romantic, but I would have liked something more than an email from Facebook, requesting my confirmation that we were engaged. FML

#2713255 (316)

I agree, your life sucks (76560) - you deserved it (4469)

On 06/08/2009 at 6:41am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Singapore

Today, I was at a 21st birthday party. It got to the bit where they blow out the candles and the girl hosting blew out her candles. While she was blowing I whispered to the fella next to me, "That's not the only thing she'll be blowing tonight". The guy next to me was her dad. FML

#2713232 (159)

I agree, your life sucks (10500) - you deserved it (62459)

On 06/08/2009 at 6:39am - intimacy - by baller (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I had to tell a girl I liked she couldn't sleep over because I live with my parents. I'm 24. FML

#2711577 (146)

I agree, your life sucks (20286) - you deserved it (48656)

On 06/08/2009 at 3:32am - intimacy - by levit (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I woke up hungover and thirsty, I found a glass of water next to the sink, filled it up with more water, chugged it and went back to bed. I woke up an hour later to my best friend telling me she thought she lost her contacts. They were in a glass next to the sink. I ate her contacts. FML

#2711154 (178)

I agree, your life sucks (23663) - you deserved it (27352)

On 06/08/2009 at 2:54am - misc - by KBO (woman) - Australia

Today, I was introduced to my dad's girlfriend of six months. I've already heard them sleeping together several time,s and seen her car pull away early in the morning. After meeting face to face, I also learned that she's only two years older than me. FML

#2709098 (191)

I agree, your life sucks (55225) - you deserved it (1813)

On 06/08/2009 at 12:08am - love - by .... (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was at a party. The music changed to a slow dance. Everybody grabbed a partner and I was left on the dancefloor alone. Suddenly, this guy walks up to me. I swore that he was going to ask me to dance. He then says: "Could you hold me my drink?" and goes to dance with another girl. FML

#2704619 (106)

I agree, your life sucks (41470) - you deserved it (2334)

On 06/07/2009 at 9:36pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I came home and found my desk devoid of all paper. Turned out my mom dropped by and wanted to surprise me by cleaning up my work area. She threw away over 7 months worth of irreplaceable original sketches, notes and storylines, thinking they were worthless. My job is a full-time artist. FML

#2701716 (207)

I agree, your life sucks (52997) - you deserved it (2135)

On 06/07/2009 at 8:17pm - work - by Kilika (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my mom paid my best friend $20 to be my friend when we were 10. FML

#2699534 (162)

I agree, your life sucks (88933) - you deserved it (3805)

On 06/07/2009 at 7:15pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, in an effort to seduce my husband, I laid in bed caressing myself. He walked in, looked at me, and said "is the ground beef in the freezer still good?" and when I answered "yes," he turned and walked out of the room. FML

#2693360 (220)

I agree, your life sucks (44022) - you deserved it (4261)

On 06/07/2009 at 3:14pm - misc - by szinna - United States (Nevada)