About techweed : I'm a 17-year-old Saudi Arabian guy, I'm a big football fan, I'm on my iPod Touch and/or BlackBerry practically 24/7, and I'm really, really sexy. If you have anything to ask and/or tell me, leave it as a reply to one of my comments, or message me, I'll try to answer as soon as I can.
Also, don't be afraid to say whatever you want to say, I don't judge. I'm just kidding, I judge.
P.S. Don't take anything I say seriously. Seriously.
P.S. (again) I have a huge dick.
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Today, the guy at Subway asked if I wanted to make my sandwich a footlong. I'm not sure what came over me, but before I realized what I was saying, I'd told him that I couldn't handle 12 inches. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20664) - you deserved it (6986)
On 08/14/2011 at 1:44pm - misc - by Username - United States (New York)
Today, I told my mom I wanted to try out for the track team. Her exact words were "good luck, fatty". FML
I agree, your life sucks (26266) - you deserved it (903)
On 08/10/2011 at 1:48am - misc - by thatfatkid - United States (Iowa)
Today, I was sitting in the hospital waiting area. An old lady was crying, and my five year old daughter asked her, "Are you okay?" The woman quietly nodded, prompting my daughter to scream at the top of her lungs, "Well shut up then!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (28537) - you deserved it (8924)
On 08/06/2011 at 9:40pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36280) - you deserved it (10747)
On 08/02/2011 at 12:58am - kids - by ohcrap - United States (Colorado)
Today, I called my boyfriend to let him know that after he gets off work, he can find me in his room wearing something sexy. He responded with, "Please don't touch anything." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25160) - you deserved it (4314)
On 07/29/2011 at 3:56pm - intimacy - by Elizabeth (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was browsing the web when I checked the search history. Turns out my son has been searching for "nude grills" and "hot grills." Not only is my 12-year-old son attempting to find porn on the internet, he also can't spell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30908) - you deserved it (5002)
On 07/27/2011 at 10:02pm - intimacy - by Nickname (man) - United States (Kansas)
Today, I was helping clean my grandpa's garage when I found some of his old election posters from the '50s. They included slogans such as, "Dick: you know it feels right" and "Want growth? Choose Dick." I'm not sure whether to be disgusted or impressed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20606) - you deserved it (3170)
On 07/27/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Nick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I surprised my four year old daughter with a stuffed dinosaur. She named it 'Horny.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (28670) - you deserved it (5802)
On 07/17/2011 at 3:14am - kids - by douglas - United States (Washington)
Today, while at my job at a Christian summer camp, I overheard one of the kids swearing. I politely said, "Please, only speak as Jesus would." He paused for a moment and replied, "Go to hell." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15746) - you deserved it (41139)
On 07/14/2011 at 4:14pm - work - by sbutler (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, as a joke, I hid under my parents' bed, hoping to scare them when they came home. When they finally arrived, they burst through their bedroom door, tearing each other's clothes off. I had to keep my breath in time with my mom's panting and moaning as my dad brutally dominated her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24812) - you deserved it (79141)
On 07/14/2011 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by gir - United States (Tennessee)
Today, my parents think that I don't realize all the sexual euphemisms in their conversations. One of the more recent ones being made by my dad at the dinner table: "This sausage is great, honey, but mine is bigger and tastier!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (35944) - you deserved it (2700)
On 07/13/2011 at 2:16pm - intimacy - by wittlegirl - United States (California)
Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (105208) - you deserved it (5803)
On 07/13/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by whyme102008 - United States (Texas)
Today, I got home from work to find my house covered in graffiti dicks, the windows smashed, the front lawn entirely ripped up, and my letter box containing dog shit. I also found a note taped to the door saying, "Suck on this Darren". Darren is my next door neighbor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51347) - you deserved it (2560)
On 07/11/2011 at 3:42am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my daughter announced on Facebook that she is directly descended from extra-terrestrials. That would be okay - except she's 25 and believes it's true. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21292) - you deserved it (3057)
On 07/11/2011 at 12:23am - kids - by MotherofET (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I peeked through my window and trained a pair of binoculars on my neighbour's house. Every night without fail, he ends up standing in front of his window topless to flex his muscles. This time, I was surprised to instead find a note taped to the window saying, "Sorry, I'm out tonight." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8434) - you deserved it (57417) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 07/08/2011 at 8:11pm - love - by Anonyme - Sent from mobile version
Monday 20 May 2013
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