taylormatous

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taylormatous

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 469
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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taylormatous's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

taylormatous's favorite FMLs

Today, I refused to go down on my boyfriend of 9 months. He then shoved me off the couch and, half crying, yelled that I was the third girl this week to turn him down. After sobbing for a bit, he looked me in the eyes and said, "I need you to do this so I can prove my manhood." FML

by saywhat / 04/09/2013 at 7:05am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I was yelled at while I was shopping by some lady, because she saw my tattoo on my arm. She screamed that I'm the "spawn of Satan" and told me I'm going to hell. It's a fake tattoo of Mickey mouse. FML

by MickyIsEVIL / 04/09/2013 at 7:05am / Japan (Aichi) / Miscellaneous

Today, my doctor asked me how often I drink, and I responded, "Socially." My three-year-old piped up, "No Mom, you drink all the time." My doctor now thinks I'm a raging alcoholic. My kid has never seen me drink. FML

by AAMBC4 / 04/09/2013 at 6:30am / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, it's my 17th birthday, and the first birthday since my mother died, leaving me to live with my previously-absent father. He gave me pretzels and a laser pointer, and said, "Happy birthday, fuckstick". One more year. FML

by Anonymous / 04/09/2013 at 12:59am / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, I didn't mind paying a little bit extra for my manicure because I forgot how nice it was to have someone hold your hand. Even if it was an old Asian lady. FML

by lonelygirl / 04/09/2013 at 12:59am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to get my grandparents out of jail, because they were caught having sex in a public place. They excused their actions by saying that you can only be young and stupid once, so if you continue doing stupid actions, you are still young. FML

by MrKento / 04/08/2013 at 7:16pm / Honduras (Francisco Morazan) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was out when a guy walking with his girlfriend eyed me up. I made a shocked face at him and kept walking. The next thing I knew, his girlfriend was beating the shit out of me claiming that I was "the other woman." I'd never seen the guy before in my life. FML

by Anonymous / 04/08/2013 at 6:06pm / United Kingdom (Kingston upon Thames) / Love

Today, the power was out. I tried to explain to my boyfriend that he wouldn't be able to watch any TV until the power came back on. His response was, "But we have Netflix." FML

by Zxz / 04/08/2013 at 5:51pm / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up with my face covered in blood. Turns out that yesterday at my colleague's birthday party, I got so drunk that I started yelling "Nappy time!" before falling out of my hammock and face-first onto the concrete ground. FML

by nosey / 04/08/2013 at 3:20pm / United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was working the night shift at the hotel. One of my tasks is to clean out the pool robot. While trying to pull it up, I got pulled in. I had to hide naked in the laundry room for an hour while I put my uniform through the dryer. FML

by soakedga / 04/08/2013 at 12:56pm / United States (Georgia) / Work

Today, I was at University when a giant mascot started walking in my direction. As they walked past, they whispered my name seductively. I still don't know who it was. FML

by confused / 04/07/2013 at 10:51am / Australia (Victoria) / Work

Today, it is my birthday. Since my parents are in the middle of a divorce, my mom thought it was perfectly reasonable to burn the gifts my dad got for me in the fireplace. FML

by child of a crazed women / 04/07/2013 at 5:19am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, a couple stopped me on the beach to take a picture of them kissing in front of the sunset. I agreed feeling generous, until they continued making out after the picture was taken, leaving me standing there awkwardly with their camera. FML

by unknown / 04/07/2013 at 12:26am / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I was proposed to, under the condition that I "get thin" first. FML

by ziggers10 / 04/06/2013 at 11:19pm / United States / Love

Today, I was discussing possible career choices with my relatives. Pretty much everyone expressed the belief that I'm screwed for life, with my grandma commenting later: "She ain't even got the tits for porn. God help her." FML

by flea-bitten / 04/06/2013 at 3:41pm / United States / Work