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taycandy96

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taycandy96
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8643
  • Number of comments : 225
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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taycandy96's FML badges

50 favourites

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taycandy96's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my mom I was going through a growth spurt. She said "Yeah, horizontally." FML

#37276
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25797) - you deserved it (5750)

On 02/13/2009 at 2:18pm - misc - by shorty (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was going down on a girl. When I looked up she was texting. FML

#29912
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (152572) - you deserved it (44633)

On 02/12/2009 at 2:45am - misc - by alhummel21 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the airport trying to help a man get to the right terminal. When he finished he turned to tell me "Don't worry, your English is pretty good, considering you're not American". English is my only language. FML

#29771
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23216) - you deserved it (3671)

On 02/12/2009 at 2:07am - misc - by language barriers (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found a used condom and wrapper in the bathroom trash can at my girlfriends house. The condom is not a brand I've ever used. She lives alone. FML

#17496
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73827) - you deserved it (4410)

On 02/09/2009 at 1:32pm - misc - by Sal (man) - United States (California)

Today, I changed the C on my report card into a B so that I wouldn't get in trouble with my parents. I spent the entire day perfecting the B's positioning and cut exactly around the edges of the size 10 font and sliced my finger in the process. Turns out, I'm still grounded for getting a B. FML

Today, I had just gotten over the flu and thought I was better. So me and my boyfriend decided to have sex. As I was about to orgasm, I puked all over his face. He was so disgusted that he ended up throwing up on me as well. FML

#9514
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56863) - you deserved it (20109)

On 02/05/2009 at 9:06am - intimacy - by Foxy (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was eating ice cream and I noticed some on my jeans so I wiped it off with my finger and licked it. It was bird shit. FML

#9438
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43972) - you deserved it (13048)

On 02/05/2009 at 8:23am - animals - by #201 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, two girls invited me up to their room at 3 am. As soon as we pressed the up button on the elevator, the fire alarm went off. FML

#6093
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56535) - you deserved it (4548)

On 02/03/2009 at 9:25am - intimacy - by SoClose (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was refilling some guy's iced tea at bandana's, and the uppity jerk had the gall to ask me if I ever kissed a girl considering how fat I am, how high my voice is, and how little money I make. FML

#4601
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25837) - you deserved it (2715)

On 02/01/2009 at 9:41am - work - by sportskidguru - United States (Missouri)

Today, I live with my mother and realized she goes out with her friends and dates more times a week than I do in a single month. FML

#4267
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15980) - you deserved it (2736)

On 01/31/2009 at 5:23pm - misc - by lousy - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was talking to my mom about my younger brother getting his girlfriend pregnant. She asked me how old I was when I first had sex. I'm a 21 year old virgin. FML

#2509
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34884) - you deserved it (4496)

On 01/25/2009 at 8:52am - intimacy - by aces10 - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend came to visit me for my birthday. Over dinner he handed me a blank card that had the words "I love you" hastily written on it. When the waiter came to take our order he informed him that we'd be paying separately. Happy Birthday. FML

#1942
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20641) - you deserved it (1829)

On 01/20/2009 at 5:47pm - love - by nicegirl08 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my dog found my marijuana pipe and the bag it was in and brought it to my parents. FML

#1384
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10685) - you deserved it (31852)

On 01/16/2009 at 2:38pm - animals - by Fucked - United States (North Carolina)



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