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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, me and my boyfriend were hooking up while watching a movie. Just as I was getting really into it, he told me to move my head. He couldn't see the television. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28003) - you deserved it (4704)
On 02/18/2009 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by happyasaclam (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was masturbating on my inflatable air mattress that squeaks when you move. Suddenly, my mom busted in my room to ask if I'm okay because she thought the squeaking was my crying. I ripped my hands from my pants and turned on my side; she walked over and grabbed my hands to console me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21157) - you deserved it (52701)
On 02/18/2009 at 6:01pm - intimacy - by dirtyhands (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I decided to watch some porn before bed. The lights were off and my roommate was already asleep behind me. I put on my noise-canceling headphones and turned up the volume all the way. After a few strokes my roommate got up and plugged in the headphones for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7305) - you deserved it (49971)
On 02/16/2009 at 7:24pm - misc - by lunarboy (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I walked by my roommate and his girlfriend while they were hugging. I asked "what's up lovebirds?". Turns out they were in the middle of a breakup. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29782) - you deserved it (7966)
On 02/16/2009 at 2:36am - misc - by dammit_ (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I told my mom I was going through a growth spurt. She said "Yeah, horizontally." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24027) - you deserved it (5542)
On 02/13/2009 at 2:18pm - misc - by shorty (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was going down on a girl. When I looked up she was texting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (136335) - you deserved it (37371)
On 02/12/2009 at 2:45am - misc - by alhummel21 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was at the airport trying to help a man get to the right terminal. When he finished he turned to tell me "Don't worry, your English is pretty good, considering you're not American". English is my only language. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22714) - you deserved it (3632)
On 02/12/2009 at 2:07am - misc - by language barriers (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I found a used condom and wrapper in the bathroom trash can at my girlfriends house. The condom is not a brand I've ever used. She lives alone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (68585) - you deserved it (3832)
On 02/09/2009 at 1:32pm - misc - by Sal (man) - United States (California)
Today, I changed the C on my report card into a B so that I wouldn't get in trouble with my parents. I spent the entire day perfecting the B's positioning and cut exactly around the edges of the size 10 font and sliced my finger in the process. Turns out, I'm still grounded for getting a B. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12551) - you deserved it (28600)
On 02/08/2009 at 6:50pm - misc - by olivia_stealth (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I texted my boyfriend saying "Hi." His response: "I got your best friend pregnant". FML
I agree, your life sucks (494304) - you deserved it (44158)
On 02/07/2009 at 10:08pm - misc - by bittersweet - United States (New York)
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (538456) - you deserved it (38307)
On 02/06/2009 at 10:29am - intimacy - by caroline (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I had just gotten over the flu and thought I was better. So me and my boyfriend decided to have sex. As I was about to orgasm, I puked all over his face. He was so disgusted that he ended up throwing up on me as well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56027) - you deserved it (19892)
On 02/05/2009 at 9:06am - intimacy - by Foxy (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was eating ice cream and I noticed some on my jeans so I wiped it off with my finger and licked it. It was bird shit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39846) - you deserved it (11244)
On 02/05/2009 at 8:23am - animals - by #201 (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, two girls invited me up to their room at 3 am. As soon as we pressed the up button on the elevator, the fire alarm went off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51232) - you deserved it (3769)
On 02/03/2009 at 9:25am - intimacy - by SoClose (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was refilling some guy's iced tea at bandana's, and the uppity jerk had the gall to ask me if I ever kissed a girl considering how fat I am, how high my voice is, and how little money I make. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23124) - you deserved it (2212)
On 02/01/2009 at 9:41am - work - by sportskidguru - United States (Missouri)
Monday 17 June 2013
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