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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, while lying in bed with my girlfriend and she was grabbing the fat on my stomach I said to her "stop touching my fat". She replied "so don't touch you at all?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (44572) - you deserved it (20723)
On 03/28/2009 at 1:43am - misc - by justinherass (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was feeling sick and having trouble breathing easily. I decided to take a nap and apparently ended up sleeping with my mouth wide open since breathing was an issue. I woke up to my boyfriend trying to put his penis in my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (139699) - you deserved it (24744)
On 03/26/2009 at 9:45pm - intimacy - by coughandcold (woman) - United States (California)
Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to be a diplomat, I slowly say "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54119) - you deserved it (424296)
On 03/26/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by Tourist (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was cutting a bagel, only to slice the back of my hand with the knife. As I grabbed paper towels to clean up the blood, I noticed that the bagel was pre-sliced. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24679) - you deserved it (62320)
On 03/22/2009 at 2:43pm - health - by IHateBagels (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I had to sleep in the same room as my grandparents. They checked to see if I was asleep, so I pretended to be to avoid getting scolded for staying up. Turns out they were checking so that they could make love. I witnessed two 70-year-olds have sex in the bed next to me for 20 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (177039) - you deserved it (18182)
On 03/21/2009 at 11:38am - intimacy - by Mike (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my husband of 9 years announced he was gay. He insinuated that he was only able to achieve erections because I looked like a man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (322258) - you deserved it (28018)
On 03/21/2009 at 3:15am - intimacy - by jilted (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I went skinny-dipping with my best friend. We were on the beach and it was fairly crowded but we got in the water at this really secluded area. While we were swimming I looked up to see a homeless man wearing my clothes, walking away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49825) - you deserved it (22618)
On 03/20/2009 at 7:35pm - misc - by cjj325 (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I saw my boyfriend for the last time for two years. When we got back from dinner, we sat in his truck for a little while to talk. A few minutes later, my mom comes flying out of my house screaming, "Satan is here, and he is tempting you!" That is the last memory he will have of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (72253) - you deserved it (3249)
On 03/19/2009 at 12:42am - love - by Fwick (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, I was taking a shower with my new boyfriend for the first time. Last night was the first night we spent together. As I was washing my hair, I looked down at my feet and noticed yellow water. Some of the warm water I felt on my feet was not from the shower head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (85983) - you deserved it (14262)
On 03/18/2009 at 9:47am - intimacy - by Marcela (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I was taking a shower with my new boyfriend for the first time. Last night was the first night we spent together. As I was washing my hair, I looked down at my feet and noticed yellow water. Some of the warm water I felt on my feet was not from the shower head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (85983) - you deserved it (14262)
On 03/18/2009 at 9:47am - intimacy - by Marcela (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, while I was out to eat, I was approached by the restaurant manager. He told me that while he respected my personal choices, his patrons didn't feel comfortable with someone who used to be a man using the women's restroom. He thought I was a transsexual. I am a naturally-born female. FML
I agree, your life sucks (282871) - you deserved it (21963)
On 03/17/2009 at 9:24pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, is my 16th birthday. Thinking that my parents would be out of town for it like they had every other year, I decided it would be fun to tan nude in my backyard. Apparantly my parents set up a surprise party for my sweet 16. I was standing naked infront of half my school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (95183) - you deserved it (32472)
On 03/16/2009 at 4:51pm - misc - by badbirthday (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was rejected from the University of Washington. My dad has been a professor there for 30 years, and is on the board of admissions. FML
I agree, your life sucks (327279) - you deserved it (67101)
On 03/16/2009 at 12:05am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my first girlfriend of over 3 years left me for another guy. She said she's looking for someone who can financially provide for her in the future. The dude owns a T-Mobile kiosk. I'm going to medical school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (409927) - you deserved it (22753)
On 03/15/2009 at 2:29pm - love - by thankskimi (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I gave myself a facial with one of those masks you leave on for a while. I busied myself by tidying my room while it dried and eventually forgot all about it. I finally remembered about it after I answered the door to the postman. Not embarassing enough? I'm a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21183) - you deserved it (51398)
On 03/14/2009 at 7:36am - misc - by skc (man) - United Kingdom
Monday 17 June 2013
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