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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, I took my dog for a walk. It became friendly with another dog, and I reached down to pet them both. Suddenly, an old woman runs up to me and whacks me with her cane repeatedly. Apparently, her previous dog had been kidnapped by a woman who looked a lot like me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35798) - you deserved it (1968)
On 06/19/2009 at 12:53pm - animals - by anon - United States (Washington)
Today, after masturbating in the shower, I heard my phone go off outside the bathroom. After my mom saw me get my phone to check my messages she said "I think you're addicted to that", to which I said "but it feels so good and every guy does it." She was talking about how I text people a lot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9754) - you deserved it (55324)
On 06/07/2009 at 2:47am - intimacy - by Jon (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, after masturbating in the shower, I heard my phone go off outside the bathroom. After my mom saw me get my phone to check my messages she said "I think you're addicted to that", to which I said "but it feels so good and every guy does it." She was talking about how I text people a lot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9754) - you deserved it (55324)
On 06/07/2009 at 2:47am - intimacy - by Jon (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, was my graduation party. My birthday was about a week ago so my parents combined the presents. I thought it would be something big so I hinted for a new TV. I got a snuggie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51815) - you deserved it (3563)
On 06/07/2009 at 12:49am - money - by AllyCat (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, at a party, my three friends and I thought it would be fun to urinate in a jug. We dislike the neighbours, so decided to throw the contents of the jug over the fence into their garden. It hit a tree and splashed back. I ended up covered in our piss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7310) - you deserved it (125415)
On 06/04/2009 at 6:38am - misc - by Unluggee (woman) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)
Today, my mom informed me that she wouldn't be joining the rest of the girls in the limo ride to the church for my wedding ceremony because she wants to have her car with her. Why? Because she is planning to leave my wedding reception half way through to go home and take her dog out to pee. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40780) - you deserved it (3110)
On 05/27/2009 at 9:40pm - animals - by KitKat270 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was watching tv on the couch. My mom then kicked me off so she could lie down. Exhausted, I asked if I could sit at the end. She said no. A minute later she called the dog to come sit with her. As I was sitting on the ground, my mom told me to move because "the dog can't see the TV." FML
I agree, your life sucks (66034) - you deserved it (3548)
On 05/24/2009 at 2:05pm - animals - by holly (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was walking around my house without a shirt on after my shower. I picked up my cat and walked around the corner... Just as my dad turned on the vacuum. Now I have 6 rather deep bloody holes in my shoulder and chest. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35657) - you deserved it (6907)
On 05/20/2009 at 3:12pm - animals - by vitalcheese (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my brother came out to our family as being gay. My mother starting crying because "She wanted grandchildren." I told her that I was planning on having children. She started crying harder. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57763) - you deserved it (2707)
On 05/19/2009 at 9:21pm - kids - by bopbop (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bare to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (343491) - you deserved it (40818)
On 05/10/2009 at 3:01pm - animals - by catlady (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. We got on the discussion of animals, and I showed them a picture of my cat on my phone. Being a touchscreen, when her father grabbed it, it changed picture. To a picture of my girlfriend, fully nude. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26191) - you deserved it (62978)
On 05/05/2009 at 3:43am - love - by sunboy52 (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was driving down the road at about 10pm, when the passenger in the car in front of me threw something out the window. The object flew towards and landed directly on my windshield. It was a condom. A used condom. It wasn't tied. Semen spreads out quite a bit when you're driving fast. FML
I agree, your life sucks (106333) - you deserved it (5372)
On 05/03/2009 at 5:17pm - misc - by Aether (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was eating at Applebees at a high table with bar stools. I was reaching over to get some gum out of mom's purse when my chair flipped out from under me and my soda fell on top of me and got in my ear. To make things worse, the waiter ran over and shouted "I give that one a 10!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (37626) - you deserved it (7186)
On 04/28/2009 at 9:39pm - misc - by kate (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my house got broken into. My brand new laptop was stolen, along with my flatscreen TV, digital camera, external hard drive and some clothes. Wanting to drown my sorrows in the Ben and Jerry's Phish Food ice cream in the freezer, I opened the door to find that it too had been stolen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (153931) - you deserved it (8636)
On 04/28/2009 at 6:13pm - money - by Sad (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I was making a nacho and grabbed some refried beans that were in a plastic container out of the fridge and put them on top of the chips. After I’m completely done eating my mom looks in the fridge and asked me if I knew where the cat food was. I just ate a small can of cat food. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12258) - you deserved it (43708)
On 04/27/2009 at 10:38pm - animals - by youwouldbeacat - United States (Oregon)
Monday 20 May 2013
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