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taxlor

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taxlor

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  • Number of visits : 235
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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taxlor's page activity

Visits<b>JohnzSexyMamas11</b> - the 01/14/2013 at 1:46am

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taxlor's favorite FMLs

Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in the local park when a curious turkey decided to follow me. Trying to shoo it away, I swung my leg at it, as if to fake kick it. Being the stupid animal it is, it decided to fly into my leg as I swung, causing my foot to connect to its neck. It died. FML

#20529231
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21835) - you deserved it (44896)

On 03/03/2013 at 9:40am - animals - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML

#20523671
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42803) - you deserved it (5398)

On 02/26/2013 at 10:00pm - intimacy - by Frostbitten (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I stole a pen from the doctor's office while she wasn't looking. Later on at work, I idly pulled the pen out during a meeting. My colleague looked at me, horrified. The pen had the words "minimally invasive gynecological surgery" emblazoned on it. I'm a man. FML

#20516811
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6905) - you deserved it (45291)

On 02/21/2013 at 9:56pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML

#20516035
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39092) - you deserved it (10327)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I was giving my guy a blowjob. When he blurted out, "Oh Jesus" I assumed I was doing a good job. I looked up to see the expression on his face and noticed a look of terror. He was staring at my growling cat, two seconds away from clawing his face off. FML

#20514475
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37264) - you deserved it (5284)

On 02/20/2013 at 1:55am - intimacy - by jealouspussy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my wife mentioned that she wanted to give me a three-way. I was ecstatic, until she opened her right hand, only to reveal a 3-way lightbulb. FML

#20512105
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15798) - you deserved it (37834)

On 02/18/2013 at 12:23pm - intimacy - by phatdaddy62 (man) - United States

Today, I was walking down the street in the dark, and the woman in front of me kept looking back nervously. I jokingly assured her that I wasn't a mugger. She then took out a knife and mugged me. FML

#20505342
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40530) - you deserved it (4540)

On 02/13/2013 at 7:00pm - money - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, a tenant in my apartment block told me about a nice shady place behind our building where he often goes to relax. Curious, I went looking for it. It was a quiet and secluded courtyard. At least until a man came out of nowhere waving a hammer in my face, screaming in a foreign language. FML

#20495981
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23102) - you deserved it (2824)

On 02/06/2013 at 6:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I discovered the true meaning of being scared shitless. My father in a clown costume emerged from my closet. Needless to say something emerged from me. FML

Today, I took my new girlfriend to meet my grandmother. We were drinking coffee when my gran leaned to one side and let out a huge fart. Proud of herself, she added, "That one didn't pay his rent on time!" Coffee came out of my girlfriend's nose. FML

#20484951
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32057) - you deserved it (4548) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/29/2013 at 2:56pm - love - by jay ze punk - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I almost died. How? I nearly suffocated after passing out while chewing an entire pack of gum. I should really drink less. FML

#20484025
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7819) - you deserved it (40880)

On 01/28/2013 at 11:23pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, the girl of my dreams asked me if I wanted to go biking with her. "Just the two of us," she said. I had to turn her down because I'm 17 years old and never learned how to ride a bike. FML

#20457168
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25263) - you deserved it (34197)

On 01/13/2013 at 1:25pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was on a plane and realized that the woman next to me was hiding a hedgehog in a plastic container. I'm severely afraid of hedgehogs but not wanting to give the woman up and get her in trouble, I tried to stay quiet. Which led to me to quietly hyperventilate and pass out on the plane. FML

#20445879
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22327) - you deserved it (6690)

On 01/07/2013 at 5:21am - health - by scaredofhedges (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I returned to Germany for a break from my studies abroad. I got lost while out for groceries, so I tried asking a guy for directions. I went totally blank and strained to think of the right words, prompting him to mutter about rude foreigners not bothering to learn the local language. FML

#20432089
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22880) - you deserved it (4775)

On 12/30/2012 at 2:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Saarland)



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