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taqox

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taqox

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taqox's favorite FMLs

Today, in a parking lot, a girl came up to our car and started to knock on the window and scream, "I KNEW IT!" My girlfriend doesn't believe that I don't know her. FML

#19726144
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27397) - you deserved it (2066)

On 06/03/2012 at 11:20am - misc - by Apissedoffguy - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, Child Protective Services came to my house, because my 7-year-old son told people at school that he was uncomfortable sleeping in his uncle's bed. I had to explain to them that the uncle in question died 2 years ago, and that's why it felt weird. FML

#19713901
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30450) - you deserved it (2307)

On 06/01/2012 at 3:02am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was playing an online game in nothing but my boxers, when suddenly a girl joined my team. I immediately felt embarrassed and put some pants on. There were no webcams involved. I need to get out more. FML

#19713389
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18105) - you deserved it (11961)

On 06/01/2012 at 12:48am - misc - by furred (man) - Philippines

Today, I saw my reflection in the computer screen and I thought I looked quite nice. I tried to take a screenshot. FML

#19712895
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6122) - you deserved it (26119)

On 05/31/2012 at 11:25pm - misc - by Mikaela - United States

Today, in a rush to get my clothes back on at my girlfriend's house at the sound of her parents opening the front door, I forgot to take the condom off. Her dad watched it fall out of my pant leg and onto the kitchen floor. FML

#19710621
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18686) - you deserved it (38871)

On 05/31/2012 at 4:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I texted my friend and asked her what her sad status on Facebook was about. She texted me back saying her step-mother had passed away. I tried to reply with "awwh" but my phone autocorrected it to "ahaha." FML

#19687154
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30227) - you deserved it (6865)

On 05/27/2012 at 3:19am - misc - by iPhonekid - United States (Texas)

Today, at work, my friend dared me to answer the next call on my phone by saying, "This is your local sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it." I did it. The person on the phone was my boss. FML

#19682982
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10479) - you deserved it (40590)

On 05/26/2012 at 10:42am - intimacy - by girly girly - United States (Texas)

Today, my friends switched my mom and my girlfriend's numbers in my phone. I sexted my mom. FML

#19682048
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33369) - you deserved it (9042)

On 05/26/2012 at 3:15am - intimacy - by ilovemymomma - United States (Texas)

Today, there was a knock on my apartment door. It was the man from next-door, who sarcastically asked if I was alright, because he said he heard me screaming in agony. I was singing. FML

#19682010
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17516) - you deserved it (4058)

On 05/26/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by MALICEG - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my eight-year-old son thought that if he swallowed soap, his farts would smell like soap. The smell of vomit and diarrhea now permeating my house is proof of how wrong he was. FML

#19680165
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22910) - you deserved it (2263)

On 05/25/2012 at 8:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I joined a local interest website, hoping to make some friends in my area. I don't think I've ever met so many guys before who introduce themselves with pictures of their cocks. FML

#19678592
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20019) - you deserved it (5252)

On 05/25/2012 at 2:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my grandmother told me my favorite top had a permanent smell of BO, despite my constant deodorant use. I wear the top to work just about every shift. I now realize all the weird little comments my coworkers have made are actually hints to go take a shower. FML

#19677033
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7577) - you deserved it (23575)

On 05/25/2012 at 3:07am - work - by emliv12 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend ended our relationship. He called me from his mobile phone, claimed to be a trauma surgeon, and told me with a bad German accent that my "boyfriend" had been in a fatal car crash earlier in the day. What the hell is wrong with this idiot? FML

#19667641
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29594) - you deserved it (3830)

On 05/23/2012 at 1:20pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, we got a call that my brother stuck a rock up his nose and couldn't get it out. My mom had to pick him up and take him to the hospital. My brother is 20. FML

#19666346
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21949) - you deserved it (1719)

On 05/23/2012 at 2:13am - misc - by littlebigbrother - Japan

Today, I found out that my little brother has been rubbing my toothbrush in dog shit for the last month because I accidentally broke one of his toys. FML

#19664729
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25021) - you deserved it (4074)

On 05/22/2012 at 9:24pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States



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