About tappm98 : My name is Tom, message me!
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Today, I went on a first date, where my date managed to fall in a creek, take me to his house and measure my height, show me family pictures, and perform the Soulja Boy dance in his living room. All while wearing swim trunks because his pants were drying and he didn't have extras. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25900) - you deserved it (5634)
I agree, your life sucks (31927) - you deserved it (4564)
On 03/16/2010 at 8:46pm - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was making schnitzel at our kitchen so I had to get rid of all the oil. So I decided it would be best to put the hot pan on our porch so the oil would cool down and then I could get rid of it. Unfortunately the ground is sealed with tar, so the tar melted and now the pan is stuck to the ground. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5471) - you deserved it (17709)
On 02/23/2010 at 7:54am - health - by peterpan (man) - Germany (Hessen)
Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30080) - you deserved it (2504)
On 02/13/2010 at 11:08am - animals - by Dog fart - United States
Today, I went for a ride with my son. I noticed he didn't have his seat belt on. To teach him a lesson, I drove very slowly and hit the brakes really hard. The impact was greater than I thought, so my son hit his head against the window and left a huge crack. He just laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5432) - you deserved it (43623)
On 01/13/2010 at 1:12pm - kids - by Joe (man) - Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen)
Today, I sneezed with so much force while I was driving that I whacked my head on the steering wheel and honked the horn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17411) - you deserved it (2976)
On 01/10/2010 at 10:37pm - misc - by Hayley (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I come home for lunch. I see a sandwich on the table with a note saying "I hope we can have a healthy new relationship, Love, Carissa." I see another note from my girlfriend next to it saying "I hope you enjoy your new relationship with Carissa." Carissa is my new step mother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24362) - you deserved it (1923)
On 01/08/2010 at 10:45pm - misc - by SingleWorker (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my mom and I were going to the store. I decided to stay in the car while she went in. In the car next to me, there was a dog in the driver's seat barking at me. Bored, I barked back at it until I realized there was someone in the passenger's seat watching me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5888) - you deserved it (22065)
On 12/23/2009 at 1:17am - animals - by ApolloandDixie (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I fell in a hole in my back yard and got stuck. My mother called the fire department. They all stood around laughing and taking pictures before they helped me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21155) - you deserved it (3904)
On 11/23/2009 at 11:19am - misc - by PaperInfection (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, my whole family was sitting in the kitchen. My sister was stoned and passed out in our dog's bed. My dad was drunk, yelling "who's your daddy" at his plate of barbecue, and my mom just sat there with that, "what the hell happened to my life" look on her face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53012) - you deserved it (2692)
On 09/13/2009 at 5:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I learned that walking on the sidewalk does not mean that you will not be hit by a car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (69145) - you deserved it (2808)
On 07/16/2009 at 1:32am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, my wife and I decided to try a relationship book. The first activity was to write down some things your partner does that bothers you. I made a very long list, then my wife and I swapped papers. She'd written, "nothing, I love everything about you." She read my list and began tearing up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19059) - you deserved it (8040)
On 07/10/2009 at 7:18pm - love - by failhusband (man) - United States (Utah)
Today, it was my girlfriends birthday. To surprise her, I told her that I was going away on business, and could not be there on her birthday. When I show up at her house to surprise her with a present and cake, she opens the door in her underwear, beside a man in his boxers. She was surprised. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71085) - you deserved it (5307)
On 06/09/2009 at 8:13pm - love - by SURPRISE (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, after being diagnosed with cat allergies, I explained to my cat-loving boyfriend that the doctor strongly recommended not allowing the cat in the bedroom. At 1:30 am my boyfriend got out of the bed to go sleep in the spare room because: "the cat is sad." FML
I agree, your life sucks (44369) - you deserved it (1068)
On 05/23/2009 at 12:07pm - love - by Ames (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, my boyfriend came over for dinner, but couldn't eat because he had just gotten his tongue pierced. My grandpa heard this, winked at my boyfriend and said "Can't eat now, but I bet that's all you'll be doing in a few weeks..." My super protective father was sitting right next to him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (69182) - you deserved it (6932)
On 03/24/2009 at 6:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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