About tappm98 : My name is Tom and I'm quite uninteresting. Feel free to message me and ask me anything, though!
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tappm98's favorite FMLs
by rabbitkiller / 06/20/2015 at 6:42am / China (Nei Mongol) / Animals
by justin Bieber / 06/15/2015 at 10:49am / United States (Michigan) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 06/13/2015 at 10:26am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my husband and I broke the news to my 10-year-old son that in about 8 months, he'll have a baby brother or sister. I knew he never wanted a sibling, but I didn't expect him to throw a tantrum, then look at me through teary eyes and scream, "Why can't you keep your fucking legs closed?" FML
by Anonymous / 06/10/2015 at 12:13pm / United States (Kentucky) / Kids
by danceinconverse / 05/22/2015 at 4:11pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, while teaching my class, I hooked my laptop up to the projector and put on a documentary. I left it playing and went to the toilet. When I came back the whole class was talking to my mother. She must've Skyped me while I was gone and someone answered the call. FML
by HiddlePuff / 05/14/2015 at 8:42am / Australia / Work
Today, I went to the yearly town carnival with my friends. I hadn't slept well the night before and when I got onto the scariest ride, I somehow fell half asleep. I woke up upside down and ended up peeing myself in terror. FML
by Upside-Down Sleeper. / 05/02/2015 at 5:59pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
by Ixlovexwaffles / 04/29/2015 at 4:33pm / Intimacy
Today, at a big family dinner, my dad said, "Pfff, gays don't have it hard at all. The things a guy has to do for sex with a girl? Crazy. All a gay guy has to do for sex is become an altar boy!" My husband's side of the family is very religious, and all hell quickly broke loose. FML
by killme / 03/07/2015 at 1:42pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
by sorry :/ / 02/08/2015 at 1:28pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/02/2014 at 2:47pm / Australia (Victoria) / Kids
by max / 10/23/2014 at 7:30pm / United States (Florida) / Love
Today, my wife pressed a button in the elevator and quickly ran out, leaving me in there with my crying baby. When the elevator arrived at the floor, the doors opened on a wedding reception. The doors couldn't have taken any longer to close again FML
by Anonymous / 10/13/2014 at 11:42am / Australia (South Australia) / Kids
Today, as always, I have Tourette's syndrome. It causes me to occasionally make a beeping noise. My boyfriend just figured out that if he beeps back, it makes me beep again. He thinks it's hilarious and won't stop. FML
by Beeper / 10/11/2014 at 3:07pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
Today, my loving five-year-old daughter started singing Christmas carols again. Ones that she made up herself, of course. Including "Walking in a fucking wonderland" and "Rudolph the red nosed asshole". FML
by SaintGoobers / 10/06/2014 at 4:24pm / United States (New York) / Kids
- Today, my new guy friend told me that he is madly in love with me. When I suggested "let's give it… Today, I had 45 minutes spare between appointments to do some work at the office. I needed to print… Today I received a phone call for a reservation (I'm a B&B owner) for 12 firefighters (he said they…