Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (the 09/18/2014 at 1:12am) | Search for a member
About tanekdrachonae : Just want to make a friend.
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
50 quality responses
Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.
2day I got a call from very drunk boyfriend at 1:30am asking 4 permission to have sex with a ( gross fat chick ) he met at a pub, cuz he ( felt sorry 4 her ). The conversation ended with me getting hung up on cuz I ( don't have a heret ). real FML
Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", an he replid with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughd. FML
Today, my friend found on Tinder the profile of a guy I've been dating and getting quite seriou with. I was surprised, not only cuz he'd told me he didn't do "stuff" like Facebook or Tinder, but cuz he lied about his job and his surname. Oh, and the fact that he got married in March. FML
Today, my dad called me into the bathroom, saying "Get a load of this shit, son" and forcing me to look at the biggest, foulest-smelling turd I have ever seen in my life in the toilet. It's been three hours and I still feel physically ill. FML
Today, I was watching TV with mah husband, and he started getting frisky. When the commercial break started, we started having sex. When he came, there were still two commercial left before the show resumed. FML
Taday wife made me a Sex Rewards Cart,ere I get points by doing cores an suc, an 50 points gets me some action. Se refuses to even look at me if I aven't earned te points, an is contemplating sleeping alone in te guest room until I earn more points. FML
Friday 27 March 2015