Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

tampabayfan

Online | Search for a member

tampabayfan

2Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 3980
  • Number of comments : 50
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

About tampabayfan : We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.

tampabayfan's page activity

Visits<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - yesterday at 11:08pm<b>MrsWinchester</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 4:31am<b>igotds</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 6:17pm<b>Kibaruto</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 1:22pm<b>NotGabe</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 5:24pm<b>mzcupcakez</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 6:02am<b>TM24D</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 11:10am<b>FrutLoopDingus</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 12:49am<b>choco3782</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 5:09am<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 11:21am<b>saba_ajira</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 5:28am<b>ClockworkPoleaxe</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 6:22am<b>Senorangelo</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 6:41pm<b>WoldowJR</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 2:12pm<b>boring_boredom</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 11:57pm<b>omgpp</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 10:46pm<b>Ley135</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 10:58pm<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 10:27pm

Liked!<b>TM24D</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 5:10pm<b>dylanger16</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 12:15pm

tampabayfan's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of tampabayfan's badges

tampabayfan's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up and found $30 slipped under my door with a note that read, "Please buy yourself a quieter vibrator. -Mom and Dad." FML

#20874309
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57793) - you deserved it (24013)

On 09/09/2013 at 11:15am - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I explained to my roommate that if she kept using all of our kitchen utensils as sex toys and hoarding them because of the varying degrees of orgasms she could achieve, we wouldn't be able to cook or eat in our own house. FML

Today, we went boating with friends. For some reason the bottom of our tube deflated, causing me to be bounced roughly up and down on the water. As a result, I had the most intense orgasm of my entire life, while sitting 2 inches away from my dad's friend. He definitely noticed. FML

#20862305
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56499) - you deserved it (6018)

On 08/31/2013 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by SplishSplash (woman) - United States

Today, a coworker told me she may be in love with me. I admitted similar feelings and we agreed, since we're both happily married, not to spend time together anymore. Two hours later we were both promoted to run the same project, where we'll be "working hand in glove for the next couple of years." FML

#20854994
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51760) - you deserved it (13524)

On 08/26/2013 at 11:16am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, a customer spent ages bitching me out, because he refused to believe he needed to upgrade his computer, which still runs Windows 98, in order to install a modern game for his grandson. He ended up calling my manager and trying to get me fired for scamming him. FML

#20853843
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40311) - you deserved it (2353)

On 08/25/2013 at 3:28pm - work - by what the fuck (man) - Malaysia (Selangor)

Today, I gave my daughter the sex talk. Barely 10 minutes later, her public Facebook status read: "My mom's a total pedo." and after she mentioned the talk, her friend posted, "That's sexual harassment. You can sue for that." Clearly I've failed as a parent. FML

#20840603
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50887) - you deserved it (5615)

On 08/16/2013 at 5:05pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I confessed my feelings to the guy I've had the biggest crush on. He spent the next ten minutes calling me delusional, said that I know nothing about him, and laughed that "this isn't Twilight, for fuck's sake". All he did when I started crying was pat me on the head and leave. FML

#20826991
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52620) - you deserved it (9202)

On 08/08/2013 at 8:54am - love - by names suck and so do I (woman) - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, I asked out the man of my dreams. He told me he'd ask his dad if it was okay. I thought he was just kidding, until he pulled out his phone and called his dad. After a few minutes of "come on, dad" and "but why?" he hung up and said his dad wouldn't let him. He's 22. FML

#20824090
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55898) - you deserved it (4626)

On 08/06/2013 at 4:35pm - love - by (._. ) (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was buying ingredients for a salad. I had only picked up a few cucumbers, when an elderly lady came up to me and murmured, "Make sure you use lots of lube, or that'll hurt. Been there, sweetheart." What the HELL? FML

#20817265
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56929) - you deserved it (5528)

On 08/02/2013 at 4:23pm - misc - by um... what the fuck, miss? (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I finally talked my boyfriend into going down on me. Everything went well until I came and instinctively gripped his head with my thighs. He panicked and we both rolled off of the bed crocodile-style. Now he's too scared to even have sex with me. FML

#20816318
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51923) - you deserved it (11211)

On 08/02/2013 at 12:39am - intimacy - by whyeventry? (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I got the sex talk from my dad. It wouldn't have been so bad if he hadn't said "It's not the size of the stick, it's how you use it." I'm a girl. FML

#20814602
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54984) - you deserved it (4538)

On 08/01/2013 at 1:10am - intimacy - by confused_girl (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was reading in my apartment. Due to a heatwave and my lack of AC, I was completely naked. My cat jumped onto my lap, and as her claws dug into my stomach, I recoiled. This caused her to retreat, clawing at my nether regions in the process. My pussy mauled my pussy. FML

#20810087
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52892) - you deserved it (12060)

On 07/29/2013 at 5:18pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I went to the Giants game. During the seventh inning stretch they showed me on the jumbo-tron. It was just in time for the entire stadium to see me pull a tampon out of my purse. FML

#20799228
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61509) - you deserved it (8020)

On 07/23/2013 at 10:49am - misc - by GiantsFan13 - United States (Colorado)

Today, I told the guy I liked about my crush on him. He said he would keep me in mind if he ever hits rock bottom. FML

#20786950
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47329) - you deserved it (3512)

On 07/16/2013 at 7:41pm - love - by hannahisacooler (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I started doing it again. I'd given up for years, but when I saw the pack I just couldn't help myself. One taste was enough to make me finish off the whole pack. Nobody knows that I've fallen off the wagon and I'm so ashamed of myself. Today, I began eating my cat's biscuits again. FML

#20786268
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44381) - you deserved it (32455) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/16/2013 at 9:18am - health - by Aliiiice (woman) - France (Haute-Normandie)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: