Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

tampabayfan

Offline (44 minutes ago) | Search for a member

tampabayfan

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 2734
  • Number of comments : 50
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About tampabayfan : We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.

tampabayfan's page activity

Visits<b>ClockworkPoleaxe</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 6:22am<b>Senorangelo</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 6:41pm<b>WoldowJR</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 2:12pm<b>boring_boredom</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 11:57pm<b>omgpp</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 10:46pm<b>FrutLoopDingus</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 1:36am<b>Ley135</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 10:58pm<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 10:27pm<b>Enslaved</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 1:33am<b>dylanger16</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 7:15am<b>reyelisaia</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 2:45am<b>agustibaarn</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 12:09am<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 7:57pm<b>diesel_power</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 1:40am<b>Booda_Shun</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 3:22pm<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 4:29pm<b>Btdtgts</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 12:37am<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 3:48am

Liked!<b>dylanger16</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 12:15pm

tampabayfan's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of tampabayfan's badges

tampabayfan's favorite FMLs

Today, my 15-year-old birth daughter asked if I've ever had sex. FML

#20774208
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52733) - you deserved it (7762)

On 07/10/2013 at 12:38pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, as I was enjoying a nice fish salad, my father looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Ahh, salmon. The 'other' pink meat", then winked suggestively at my mother. I don't think I can ever eat fish again. FML

#20763590
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58295) - you deserved it (4594)

On 07/04/2013 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by ugh (woman) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, I woke up from an extremely intense and pleasurable wet dream. This wouldn't have been bad, had it not been about Velveeta cheese. FML

#20762710
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45175) - you deserved it (8997)

On 07/04/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by idk ask freud - United States (Oregon)

Today, my mom stole the condoms out of my room and gave them to my little brother because I "won't be needing them anytime soon". FML

#20759724
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42790) - you deserved it (4335)

On 07/02/2013 at 12:17pm - misc - by dry spell (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I got angry after not being able to have an orgasm. What was I angry at? My own hand. FML

#20759304
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43078) - you deserved it (20714)

On 07/02/2013 at 2:47am - intimacy - by lonely girl (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I tried acid for the first time while camping with my best friend. A drunk driver smashed into my car, leaving it totaled. I had to explain the situation to a cop all while thinking my car was bleeding green ooze. FML

#20759193
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24630) - you deserved it (63629)

On 07/02/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was explaining to my son that porn isn't a realistic depiction of sex. Just as I finished explaining to him that threesomes rarely happen in real life, he started crying. I feel like a dream-crushing monster. FML

#20756438
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48276) - you deserved it (9361)

On 06/30/2013 at 5:44pm - kids - by sorry, kiddo (man) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, I woke up to a flooded basement. That basement is my bedroom, so I'm completely surrounded by water. All I need is a tiger and this would be like The Life of Pi. FML

#20752548
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45957) - you deserved it (3484)

On 06/28/2013 at 2:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, my mom left for a bachelorette party. She forgot a gift, so she called me and made me go into her closet, pick out a sex toy from the "box of gag gifts", and bring it to her. Should I pick anal beads or a cock ring? FML

#20744678
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54624) - you deserved it (4457)

On 06/24/2013 at 2:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I decided to go buy myself a dildo to use on my lonely nights. Once at the adult store, I also grabbed a birthday card to make it seem the dildo wasn't for me. At the register, the cashier looked at me and said, "For God's sake, save yourself some money. I already know it's for you." FML

#20742274
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58653) - you deserved it (22887)

On 06/23/2013 at 6:38am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom cut off the legs of all my pants, because she says I don't show enough skin for guys. I'm now forced to wear jaggedly cut shorts that barely cover my thighs until I can buy new ones. FML

#20739324
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49466) - you deserved it (4845)

On 06/21/2013 at 4:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I found out I'm going to be a grandfather. I'm 29, my son is 13 and the girl in question is 16. FML

#20731946
437 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59266) - you deserved it (37019)

On 06/17/2013 at 6:49pm - kids - by young grandpa - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out I'm going to be a grandfather. I'm 29, my son is 13 and the girl in question is 16. FML

#20731946
437 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59266) - you deserved it (37019)

On 06/17/2013 at 6:49pm - kids - by young grandpa - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was riding a bike when a truck accidentally hit me. The handsome driver came out and asked if I was alright. I said, "I am now" and winked. He said "Eww, no" then immediately ran away and drove his truck around me. FML

#20724353
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39919) - you deserved it (25112)

On 06/13/2013 at 9:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my parents told me they're glad I'm an "ugly nerd" because they don't have to worry about me getting into trouble or having a teen pregnancy. FML

#20686197
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47662) - you deserved it (4147)

On 05/25/2013 at 8:45pm - misc - by uglynerd (woman) - United States (Illinois)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: