About tampabayfan : We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.
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tampabayfan's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 12/18/2014 at 10:34am / Belgium (Antwerpen) / Love
Today, I put a picture on Facebook of me without makeup. A "friend" commented: "fuk me thts hideus!!" My dad replied: "Hideous, yes, just like your godawful spelling!" My mom yelled at my dad for agreeing with the guy, and they're still fighting. Meanwhile, my self-esteem is in the gutter. FML
by fistycunt4 / 12/06/2014 at 3:22pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/03/2014 at 1:34pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love
by Anonymous / 12/01/2014 at 12:55pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I asked my girlfriend's father for permission to take his daughter's hand in marriage. He asked me "Which one?" I said "Uh, the one I'm dating... Lisa." He belched and said, "Yeah sure, throw 'er off a cliff for all I care. Piss off, boy." So much for chivalry. FML
by Anonymous / 11/29/2014 at 4:54pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
by Anonymous / 11/27/2014 at 1:51pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went off for a jog. Outside, I saw my really cute neighbour, so in an effort to appear sporty, I accelerated and kept my head up. As I got close, I smiled at him, just when a huge fly flew right up my nose. FML
by Rizma / 11/27/2014 at 10:12am / France (Bretagne) / Love
by SelfServiced / 11/02/2014 at 8:31pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by fizzie101 / 10/18/2014 at 5:43pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, a nurse asked my relationship status. I answered, "Married". She then asked if there was any possibility of me being pregnant. I hardly contained my snort, before responding, "No, you have to have sex for that." I'm not sure what's worse, the fact that it's true or her laughter. FML
by bluevix / 10/10/2014 at 9:25pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
Today, my best friend, who I've been in love with for nearly a decade, asked me to help him set up an online dating profile. During our 4-hour conversation, as he waded through the profiles, he complained that it was impossible for him to find a girl to have a meaningful conversation with. FML
by EosThorn / 10/01/2014 at 9:33pm / Sweden (Kronobergs Lan) / Love
by Anonymous / 09/28/2014 at 12:42pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
Today, I babysat a 10 year old from hell. She kept insulting me, saying I have tiny boobs, that boys must hate me, and that I'm ugly. I eventually got fed up and put her to bed. When her parents came back, she ran out of her room in tears and told them I'd beaten her. They believed it. FML
by Anonymous / 09/15/2014 at 11:51am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids
by anon / 08/31/2014 at 11:14am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I hooked up with a girl at a club, and we had sex. She just lay there like a corpse the whole time. It got so bad, I ended up faking an orgasm and blaming the lack of semen on a botched vasectomy. She actually believed it. What the hell? FML
by Anonymous / 08/12/2014 at 4:24pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy