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tampabayfan

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tampabayfan

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 2377
  • Number of comments : 50
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

About tampabayfan : E=MC^(OMG)/wtf

We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.

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tampabayfan's favorite FMLs

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

#17981940
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44855) - you deserved it (5036)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States

Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML

#17953738
432 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34469) - you deserved it (24593)

On 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML

#17953738
432 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34469) - you deserved it (24593)

On 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got a text from someone I've been avoiding saying, "Can I come visit you today?" I replied, "No, sorry, I'm not home." They then replied "Then who is that in your living room?" FML

#17913530
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32678) - you deserved it (7251)

On 10/05/2011 at 7:48pm - misc - by Pookaa (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I showed my boyfriend a calendar, marked with the number of times we've had sex over the past month. Then followed by a calendar of the month before, which had almost triple the number of hits. I had to point out that our stats need to improve. FML

#17901897
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23584) - you deserved it (17049)

On 10/04/2011 at 3:04am - intimacy - by friskeyk14 - United States (California)

Today, my 20 year old daughter started ranting to me about her latest boyfriend's erectile problems. Trying to be a good dad, I told her all I knew about how to get the boy fixed. My wife decided to stick her head in and say, "Listen to your dad, hun. He knows all about this kind of thing." FML

#17897207
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31643) - you deserved it (5039)

On 10/03/2011 at 5:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, my boyfriend still couldn't work out where my clitoris is. It's RIGHT THERE, you idiot. I've pointed it out, but each time it's like he needs a compass and a map or something. FML

#17847323
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34617) - you deserved it (11531)

On 09/27/2011 at 11:56am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I shat a magnet. FML

#17843744
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11915) - you deserved it (31039)

On 09/26/2011 at 10:51pm - health - by mimi - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that the double spacing format in an essay refers to the space between each line, not the words. I've been pressing the space bar twice between each word all through high school and halfway through college. FML

#17821676
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12530) - you deserved it (75561)

On 09/24/2011 at 2:47pm - misc - by essay2 - United States (California)

Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been seeing. It took him longer to put the condom on than it did to finish. FML

#17734043
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32553) - you deserved it (4198)

On 09/13/2011 at 1:51am - intimacy - by stillkindahorny - United States

Today, I was eating some popcorn with a guy, and I noticed a piece of hair coming out my mouth. I pulled it... and pulled it... and eventually some popcorn pieces came out attached to the end of the hair. I was so embarrassed, he tried to make me feel better by saying it looked like a magic trick. FML

#17708928
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28639) - you deserved it (3783)

On 09/10/2011 at 1:57am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my husband went downstairs to play Call of Duty. When he came back after only 20 minutes I said, "Awww, did you miss me?" He said, "No, the controller died." FML

Today, desperate after a very painful breakup, I poured my heart and soul out to my old teddy bear. When I finished, I asked what he would do in my situation. Right on cue, a gust of wind came through the window and sent him falling off the windowsill and crashing head-first onto the floor. FML

#17706108
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34268) - you deserved it (6050) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 09/09/2011 at 7:18pm - love - by Angie - France

Today, my girlfriend told me she knows I've been cheating on her, and is desperate to prove she's "better than that other slut, or it's over between us." I've been pushed down and forcefully kissed ten times now. All because she saw a pic online of me kissing a girl. It was her. FML

#17699087
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36779) - you deserved it (4483)

On 09/08/2011 at 8:34pm - intimacy - by waj9876 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my best friend and I were playing Call of Duty, when he said he had to go to the bathroom. Curious, I checked his phone. A text message read, "Tell your friend you're going to the bathroom and come eat. Pizza is here." from his dad. Apparently, I'm not good enough to feed. FML

#17657818
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34766) - you deserved it (7127)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:16am - misc - by Pizza-less - United States (Washington)



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  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

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