Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

tampabayfan

Search for a member

tampabayfan
  • Town/Country : Ontario, Canada
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1869
  • Number of comments : 50
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About tampabayfan : E=MC^(OMG)/wtf

We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.

tampabayfan's last visitors

Narttukymhipsher22ChenEightymyoukeiTrackGirl19friedpwnadgeTisAPenguinClint15

tampabayfan's FML badges

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of tampabayfan's badges

tampabayfan's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a text from someone I've been avoiding saying, "Can I come visit you today?" I replied, "No, sorry, I'm not home." They then replied "Then who is that in your living room?" FML

#17913530
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27251) - you deserved it (5393)

On 10/05/2011 at 7:48pm - misc - by Pookaa (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I showed my boyfriend a calendar, marked with the number of times we've had sex over the past month. Then followed by a calendar of the month before, which had almost triple the number of hits. I had to point out that our stats need to improve. FML

#17901897
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22074) - you deserved it (16442)

On 10/04/2011 at 3:04am - intimacy - by friskeyk14 - United States (California)

Today, my 20 year old daughter started ranting to me about her latest boyfriend's erectile problems. Trying to be a good dad, I told her all I knew about how to get the boy fixed. My wife decided to stick her head in and say, "Listen to your dad, hun. He knows all about this kind of thing." FML

#17897207
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28638) - you deserved it (4689)

On 10/03/2011 at 5:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, my boyfriend still couldn't work out where my clitoris is. It's RIGHT THERE, you idiot. I've pointed it out, but each time it's like he needs a compass and a map or something. FML

#17847323
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31099) - you deserved it (10498)

On 09/27/2011 at 11:56am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I shat a magnet. FML

#17843744
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10055) - you deserved it (27699)

On 09/26/2011 at 10:51pm - health - by mimi - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that the double spacing format in an essay refers to the space between each line, not the words. I've been pressing the space bar twice between each word all through high school and halfway through college. FML

#17821676
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11253) - you deserved it (72234)

On 09/24/2011 at 2:47pm - misc - by essay2 - United States (California)

Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been seeing. It took him longer to put the condom on than it did to finish. FML

#17734043
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29596) - you deserved it (3881)

On 09/13/2011 at 1:51am - intimacy - by stillkindahorny - United States

Today, I was eating some popcorn with a guy, and I noticed a piece of hair coming out my mouth. I pulled it... and pulled it... and eventually some popcorn pieces came out attached to the end of the hair. I was so embarrassed, he tried to make me feel better by saying it looked like a magic trick. FML

#17708928
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27395) - you deserved it (3660)

On 09/10/2011 at 1:57am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my husband went downstairs to play Call of Duty. When he came back after only 20 minutes I said, "Awww, did you miss me?" He said, "No, the controller died." FML

Today, desperate after a very painful breakup, I poured my heart and soul out to my old teddy bear. When I finished, I asked what he would do in my situation. Right on cue, a gust of wind came through the window and sent him falling off the windowsill and crashing head-first onto the floor. FML

#17706108
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32268) - you deserved it (5787) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 09/09/2011 at 7:18pm - love - by Angie - France

Today, my girlfriend told me she knows I've been cheating on her, and is desperate to prove she's "better than that other slut, or it's over between us." I've been pushed down and forcefully kissed ten times now. All because she saw a pic online of me kissing a girl. It was her. FML

#17699087
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34877) - you deserved it (4280)

On 09/08/2011 at 8:34pm - intimacy - by waj9876 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my best friend and I were playing Call of Duty, when he said he had to go to the bathroom. Curious, I checked his phone. A text message read, "Tell your friend you're going to the bathroom and come eat. Pizza is here." from his dad. Apparently, I'm not good enough to feed. FML

#17657818
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31991) - you deserved it (6739)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:16am - misc - by Pizza-less - United States (Washington)

Today, I tried to impress the guy I like. He breeds reptiles, and I happen to have a snake and a lizard. I went over to his house to show them off. He opened the door just as my lizard fell between my boobs. He had to help me get it out. FML

#17621188
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18781) - you deserved it (10524)

On 08/30/2011 at 1:35pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend decided to use glow-in-the-dark body paint to make an arrow on his stomach pointing down. I guess he thought he'd "spice up" the way he always demands a blow job before sex. FML

#17601968
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21212) - you deserved it (4389)

On 08/28/2011 at 2:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I applied to live in a barn. FML

#17554659
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20916) - you deserved it (7424)

On 08/23/2011 at 1:39am - money - by Anonymous - United States



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: