takhay

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takhay

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 31 August 1986 (29 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1404
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 3 posted

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takhay's page activity

Visits<b>billboob</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 8:10am<b>rhiley</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 8:16pm<b>theFickleFinger</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 3:39pm<b>Liamj774</b> - the 09/11/2015 at 3:44pm<b>ackligtful</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 1:04am<b>khloelpcn</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 6:23pm<b>boricualuv</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 10:38pm<b>boobear19883</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 10:58am<b>klovemachine</b> - the 03/11/2013 at 9:59pm<b>guiltySnake</b> - the 10/29/2012 at 9:41pm<b>insanelyXnikki</b> - the 10/20/2012 at 1:17am<b>Helldemon</b> - the 03/28/2012 at 6:42pm<b>Cad6</b> - the 03/28/2012 at 5:12pm<b>raphanne</b> - the 03/28/2012 at 2:59pm<b>sadistmonkey</b> - the 03/28/2012 at 3:28am

takhay's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of takhay's badges

takhay's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized that mixing alcohol with my medication causes me to lose my memory. I went to see my favorite band in concert last night and I can't remember a single song they played. FML

by Kreen / 02/02/2012 at 3:10am / China / Health

Today, I realized my boyfriend is so seldom romantic that it actually makes me uncomfortable when he says something cute. FML

by sad life / 01/26/2012 at 1:23am / United States / Love

Today, I had an upset stomach. I lay down in bed with a bucket nearby just in case. Later on, the urge to vomit overcame me, and I puked into the bucket. I realised too late that my cat had chosen to sleep in it. He jumped out and spread vomit all over my apartment. FML

by Fat_abott / 01/05/2012 at 3:40pm / France / Animals

Today, I met my girlfriend's family. Her mother wants us to stay in separate bedrooms, and I was happy to oblige since I'm staying at their house. But because there isn't an extra room, we have to stay together. Upon entering the house, her mom searched our bags for condoms and birth-control pills. FML

by vistingherfamily / 11/24/2011 at 9:09pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I went to Victoria's Secret to buy a bra. A woman sized me and then gave me a bra to try on in the fitting room. To my pleasure, it seemed to fit well. The woman who had sized me came in to check on me and replied, "Yeah, it happens. Not everyone can be symmetrical." FML

by lopsided / 09/06/2011 at 12:22pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML

by f*ckingdisgusted / 08/26/2011 at 9:13pm / United States / Kids

Today, in algebra, I took out my notebook. My Chinese teacher was so impressed with my "Chinese" writings on the cover that I'm now her "favorite student". Those "Chinese" symbols are actually Japanese, but I wanted someone to like me so badly that I didn't correct her. FML

by Miguel / 08/20/2011 at 3:40pm / United States / Geek

Today, my girlfriend woke me up at 5 am because she thought someone was watching her from the park. It was a trash can. FML

by boyfriend123 / 08/18/2011 at 6:02am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my eight year old son came to me and said he thinks it's time he started wearing bras. It turns out his older brother has been mind-fucking him for the past several months and has him convinced it's something all boys his age do. I can't convince him otherwise. FML

by Anonymous / 08/06/2011 at 7:37pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I threw up when I woke up, feeling quite ill, I told my mum. She instantly thought I was pregnant. I'm still a virgin and she doesn't believe me. FML

by Anonymous / 03/07/2011 at 1:17pm / United Kingdom (Stoke-on-Trent) / Health

Today, I was riding a bus. After having a conversation with my friend, I looked down and saw a little boy looking at me. He asked, "Are you a boy or a girl?" As if that wasn't bad enough, when I responded that I was a girl, he said, "Oh. So, why do you have a boy voice then?" FML

by luciaspiano / 02/04/2010 at 7:47pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Transportation

Today, I did something clever at work and I was telling one of the other girls about it. I said "Just using my noodle" and went to tap my temple but instead I jabbed myself in the eye. FML

by ke / 01/29/2010 at 12:10am / United States (Missouri) / Work

Today, I met my boyfriend's notoriously difficult mother. I had been looking forward to meeting her and making a good impression. Unfortunately, I could not greet her as her son's penis was still in my mouth. FML

by pleasedtomeetyou / 01/13/2010 at 11:42am / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, it was the last day of finals. After sleeping less than three hours in the last two days, I got in the car to go to school. For a second, I thought my steering wheel, the gas pedal, and brake pedal were all missing. That's when I realized I was sitting in the back seat. FML

by Anonymous / 12/10/2009 at 8:08am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom told me that I am going to end up getting myself pregnant. I am 21 and a virgin. She continued to yell at me and call me a liar all night. I don't know which is worse, being a 21 year old virgin or my mother accusing me of lying about it. FML

by virginmary / 12/06/2009 at 3:07am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous