takhay

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takhay

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 31 August 1986 (29 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1270
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 3 posted

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takhay's page activity

Visits<b>rhiley</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 8:16pm<b>theFickleFinger</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 3:39pm<b>Liamj774</b> - the 09/11/2015 at 3:44pm<b>ackligtful</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 1:04am<b>khloelpcn</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 6:23pm<b>boricualuv</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 10:38pm<b>boobear19883</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 10:58am<b>klovemachine</b> - the 03/11/2013 at 9:59pm<b>guiltySnake</b> - the 10/29/2012 at 9:41pm<b>insanelyXnikki</b> - the 10/20/2012 at 1:17am<b>Helldemon</b> - the 03/28/2012 at 6:42pm<b>Cad6</b> - the 03/28/2012 at 5:12pm<b>raphanne</b> - the 03/28/2012 at 2:59pm<b>sadistmonkey</b> - the 03/28/2012 at 3:28am

takhay's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of takhay's badges

takhay's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to proof-read a terrible paper containing a bunch of mistakes. It took me 4 hours and I didn't eat dinner until I was done. His response when he got it back was, "What the fuck did you do to my paper?! You bitch!" FML

by pissed_off_girl / 03/31/2013 at 10:59pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML

by Anonymous / 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, my social anxiety hit a new low. I was playing bingo and, although I won, I didn't shout "bingo" because I thought too many people would look at me. FML

by Anonymous / 08/11/2012 at 10:20am / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

by 16590 / 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm / Sweden / Transportation

Today, while at the beach, as a joke, I told my girlfriend that I was a shark. She then poked my eyes and punched me in the nose. When I started to get mad, she just shrugged and asked, "What? You're the one that wanted to be a shark. Don't you watch Shark Week?" FML

by sharkboy / 06/10/2012 at 10:33pm / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend started a conversation with "I don't want to break up" and ended the conversation with "I think I'd be better off alone." So I guess I'm now single. I think. FML

by Anonymous / 05/02/2012 at 7:05am / Canada / Love

Today, I found out that my fellow marching band mates all refer to me as the "short girl with big tits" because none of them can remember my name. FML

by noname / 04/27/2012 at 8:04am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I punched myself in the face while trying to put my bra on. FML

Today, I slipped in a pile of vomit someone left for me on the train platform on the way to work, spraying puke all over both of my legs. It's only 6:30am. It's going to be a long day. FML

Today, since I'm too broke to get a new one, I had to duct tape my bra. FML

by liver / 03/18/2012 at 8:51pm / United States (California) / Money

Today, whilst stacking the dish washer I dropped a steak knife. Luckily, I caught it just before it hit my foot. I fist-pumped to celebrate my amazing catch and stabbed myself in the cheek. My parents couldn't stop laughing all the way to the hospital. FML

by zztopspinner / 03/14/2012 at 3:11pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was chatting to a nice girl at the mall, and I said if she didn't get a raise, I would write to the management. She said they have no email address, and I replied that I meant an actual letter. "Like, on paper?" she said, "Damn, how old are ya, pops?" I want a ticket off this planet. FML

by S. Michaels / 03/14/2012 at 11:17am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up Tard Mode and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML

by yamsterr / 03/12/2012 at 12:27pm / United States / Love

Today, I had a dream about the damn cappuccino machine at work. FML

by slickrick22 / 02/26/2012 at 9:43pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked into two things. The first was a spiderweb. The second, due to blind panic, was oncoming traffic. FML

by Anonymous / 02/14/2012 at 7:39am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous