Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

sysalis

Offline (2 hours ago) | Search for a member

sysalis

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 5 January 1988 (26 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4396
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About sysalis : Stuff

sysalis's page activity

Visits<b>Welshite</b> - the 10/27/2012 at 10:07pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:49pm<b>Candeggina</b> - the 04/02/2011 at 8:49pm<b>xx_Lizzy_xx</b> - the 02/27/2011 at 4:12pm<b>rugby_girl</b> - the 02/18/2011 at 5:16pm

sysalis's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of sysalis's badges

sysalis's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked into the kitchen at the exact moment my uncle decided to bend over in short shorts. Apparently, his ballsack decided it needed extra room, because it dangled out of his pant leg. FML

#21283844
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14566) - you deserved it (1071)

On 10/23/2014 at 4:05pm - misc - by Alexismaria - United States

Today, I walked in on my girlfriend cheating on me. The guy turned around and said, "Sorry, I borrowed your condoms." FML

#21283288
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23758) - you deserved it (1693)

On 10/22/2014 at 6:38pm - intimacy - by BadLuckLad (man) - United Kingdom (Portsmouth)

Today, I had sex for the first time with my first boyfriend. We broke up 6 years ago. FML

Today, I fell asleep on the couch. My parents didn't wake me up, went to bed and set our burglar alarm. If I trip a motion sensor, a siren will go off. The motion sensor in my living room is pointed directly at me and I have to pee. It's been 2 hours. FML

#21282761
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25853) - you deserved it (3092)

On 10/21/2014 at 10:11pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my little sister decided it would be funny to hide in the washroom closet while I was taking a piss. I wasn't pissing, I was wanking. FML

#21281971
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29848) - you deserved it (8741)

On 10/20/2014 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by John (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went on a first date. Everything was going well until he asked me, "So, what's the biggest thing you've stuck up your vag?" FML

#21281604
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31439) - you deserved it (2490)

On 10/20/2014 at 5:28am - intimacy - by bye loser (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend gave his penis a high five for not getting me pregnant. He does this every time I get my period. Every. Single. Time. FML

#21279390
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35526) - you deserved it (5774)

On 10/16/2014 at 9:27pm - love - by highfive - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I never really thought that my boyfriend and brother having the same name was too weird. Until I called out his name during climax. FML

#21279374
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33708) - you deserved it (4462)

On 10/16/2014 at 9:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got stitches in my breast. I never knew how much they jiggled until every bump on the road made my breast feel like it was on fire. FML

#21278689
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34233) - you deserved it (2445)

On 10/15/2014 at 10:33pm - health - by BoobiePain - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, coming home, I opened up my door to find my drunk boyfriend trying to teach our three baby parakeets to perch on his erect penis. FML

#21278553
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34256) - you deserved it (3707)

On 10/15/2014 at 7:36pm - misc - by facepalm (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I discovered that I climax sooner if I think about pretzels. Yes, pretzels. The food product. I'll never be able to eat them again. FML

#21278160
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32665) - you deserved it (4488)

On 10/15/2014 at 2:26am - intimacy - by datgurllllukno (woman) - United States

Today, it's the first birthday of the condom in my pocket. FML

#21276832
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35387) - you deserved it (7047)

On 10/13/2014 at 10:15am - intimacy - by badplacerightnow (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in the missionary position. Once again, our cat decided to crawl onto his back and stare at me. FML

#21276776
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31874) - you deserved it (4475)

On 10/13/2014 at 6:20am - intimacy - by Drafrica (woman) - South Africa

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of three years, who can't get it up for me and has been blaming blood pressure issues, apparently has no problem getting it up while watching the neighbor undress from our window. FML

#21276105
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36475) - you deserved it (4118)

On 10/12/2014 at 9:21am - intimacy - by MotherMary - United States (Missouri)

Today, a nurse asked my relationship status. I answered, "Married". She then asked if there was any possibility of me being pregnant. I hardly contained my snort, before responding, "No, you have to have sex for that." I'm not sure what's worse, the fact that it's true or her laughter. FML

#21275225
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35850) - you deserved it (4864)

On 10/10/2014 at 9:25pm - intimacy - by bluevix (woman) - United States (Virginia)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: