Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

sysalis

Offline (2 hours ago) | Search for a member

sysalis

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 5 January 1988 (26 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4476
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About sysalis : Stuff

sysalis's page activity

Visits<b>Welshite</b> - the 10/27/2012 at 10:07pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:49pm<b>Candeggina</b> - the 04/02/2011 at 8:49pm<b>xx_Lizzy_xx</b> - the 02/27/2011 at 4:12pm<b>rugby_girl</b> - the 02/18/2011 at 5:16pm

sysalis's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of sysalis's badges

sysalis's favorite FMLs

Today, I met my sister's fiancé. I would have been happier for her if he hadn't been mine a month ago when I introduced them. FML

#21301904
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34781) - you deserved it (2524)

On 11/19/2014 at 3:27am - love - by MissAggravared - United States (Idaho)

Today, my wife and I decided to try out role playing. She ended up having an anxiety attack when I said she wasn't turning in her homework. FML

#21301827
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30260) - you deserved it (3324)

On 11/19/2014 at 12:27am - intimacy - by jigglypluff (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me because of the scratch marks on my back. I didn't have the nerve to tell her I tried to shower with the cat. FML

#21300928
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17672) - you deserved it (28448)

On 11/17/2014 at 7:56pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my husband and I told my parents I was pregnant with my first child. The only thing my father did was look at my husband and tell him his pull out game was weak. FML

#21299949
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33399) - you deserved it (3368)

On 11/16/2014 at 12:29am - kids - by wtfdad - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend and I compared our No Shave November body hair. This is how I found out that my legs are hairier than his. FML

#21299788
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26253) - you deserved it (6809)

On 11/15/2014 at 8:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I have an Army fitness test. I was worried I'd cramp up during the last mile of the run, so I drank a large amount of water in preparation. I later woke up in the very small barracks that I share with three other people, soaking in a puddle of my own piss. FML

Today, I get to add spaghetti sauce to my rather extensive list of things that don't belong in a person's eye but that end up in mine anyway. Other items include molten cheese, rock salt, orange juice, chips of nail polish, cotton fibers, and firework ash. FML

#21299049
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26630) - you deserved it (4274)

On 11/14/2014 at 4:58pm - health - by gspotter (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, one of my debate opponents used the "Bill O'Reilly defense" against my arguments. This involved saying "You can't explain that" about easily explained stuff, and speaking louder and louder to drown out my voice. He ended up getting a better grade than mine. FML

#21298962
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27266) - you deserved it (2804)

On 11/14/2014 at 1:39pm - misc - by shreking_bawl (man) - Norway

Today, I found out the one good thing about having fat rolls: when someone walks in on you sitting on the toilet, they hide your private parts. FML

#21298459
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27016) - you deserved it (5468)

On 11/13/2014 at 5:26pm - misc - by HoobidibooFox (woman) - United Kingdom (Dudley)

Today, my brother offered me $20 to practice his kissing on me for his date later this evening. FML

#21296136
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41857) - you deserved it (4021)

On 11/10/2014 at 11:31am - misc - by SisterOfTard (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I spent all day making preparations and buying food for my upcoming birthday. It's not for a party, though - none of my friends wanted to come. I'm preparing for the launch of the new World of Warcraft expansion. FML

#21295219
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30781) - you deserved it (6522)

On 11/09/2014 at 2:51am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I excitedly told my mom that I'm pregnant with my second child. She shot back, "You know what's a REAL achievement? Jacking your dad off in church last week without anyone noticing. Aim higher." I really didn't need to know that. FML

#21294899
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39286) - you deserved it (3401)

On 11/08/2014 at 6:02pm - kids - by jennabee97 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my anxiety got so bad that when I stole a sword in Skyrim and resisted arrest, I had a full-on panic attack as I ran away. I ended up curling up on the sofa as my character got hacked to death on the TV. FML

#21294889
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29133) - you deserved it (7515)

On 11/08/2014 at 5:49pm - health - by Anonymous S'wit (man) - Portugal

Today, I was getting everything ready for mine and my husband's first wedding anniversary. Flowers, check. Crisp new bed sheets, check. Silk underwear, check. Crippling cramps and an early period, check. FML

#21294602
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42083) - you deserved it (3095)

On 11/08/2014 at 9:09am - intimacy - by betterthanhodor - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, I was in the middle of a shower, and downstairs I heard my 7 year old daughter screaming "Mom!! Help! I need you right now!" I panicked and ran downstairs, not giving myself enough time to put some clothing on. It was my neighbor at the door. FML

#21293802
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32852) - you deserved it (3183)

On 11/06/2014 at 11:29pm - kids - by ozozl - United States (Colorado)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: