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sysalis

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sysalis

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 5 January 1988 (26 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4085
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About sysalis : Stuff

sysalis's page activity

Visits<b>Welshite</b> - the 10/27/2012 at 10:07pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:49pm<b>Candeggina</b> - the 04/02/2011 at 8:49pm<b>xx_Lizzy_xx</b> - the 02/27/2011 at 4:12pm<b>rugby_girl</b> - the 02/18/2011 at 5:16pm

sysalis's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of sysalis's badges

sysalis's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when we heard a screech. My two cats were having it harder than us. FML

#21241441
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26075) - you deserved it (3466)

On 08/20/2014 at 2:07am - intimacy - by Mia (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, it's the 16th day of my period. FML

#21241406
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39207) - you deserved it (2567)

On 08/20/2014 at 1:15am - health - by BagelTheOtaku (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I called my boyfriend to let him know that I'm pregnant. He instantly replied "Bullshit!", then hung up and apparently skipped town. FML

#21241143
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30354) - you deserved it (4312)

On 08/19/2014 at 6:30pm - kids - by Xbieblette51 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to a baseball game with my girlfriend's dad. I got a boner when they sang the anthem, because that's what I sing in my head when having sex with his daughter so I last longer. FML

#21240482
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34728) - you deserved it (12034)

On 08/18/2014 at 12:39pm - intimacy - by embarrassed - United States (New York)

Today, my two-year-old daughter's favourite word is 'No'. After leaving her with my sixteen-year-old brother, she now knows other N words as well. Niet, Nein, Non and Never. Her teenage uncle thinks it's hilarious. FML

#21240415
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30169) - you deserved it (4805)

On 08/18/2014 at 9:26am - kids - by 919191 (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, a few minutes after giving birth to our fourth child, my wife pulled me close and whispered, "I love you, but if you ever put me through that again I'll rip your balls off." Everyone laughed. FML

#21239517
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37277) - you deserved it (11692)

On 08/17/2014 at 2:15am - kids - by you ripped them off ages ago (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, while I was at the dentist, I couldn't stop gagging when he tried to put a tab in my mouth to get an x-ray. As I left, I overheard him saying, "I feel sorry for her boyfriend." FML

#21238932
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40796) - you deserved it (6644)

On 08/16/2014 at 12:03pm - intimacy - by gag reflex - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I tried skydiving for the first time. The professional I was attached to had a boner the whole way down. FML

#21237831
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43645) - you deserved it (4279)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:36pm - intimacy - by emmamrose7 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while taking out the trash, I swung the bag back and forth, which caused it to slide across my leg. An opened aluminum can inside the bag ended up slicing through my calf, causing heavy bleeding. Baked beans sent me to the hospital. FML

Today, I made fun of a girl singing passionately along to a song on her radio while in traffic next to me. She decided that her chocolate milkshake would make a good addition to my brand new seat covers. FML

#21237592
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13879) - you deserved it (66001)

On 08/14/2014 at 5:54pm - misc - by oops - United States (California)

Today, I asked my 10-year-old son what he wants to be when he gets grows up. He smiled broadly and said "A porn star!" FML

#21237548
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35181) - you deserved it (5715)

On 08/14/2014 at 4:44pm - kids - by cahsecuel (woman) - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, I realized my dog looks at me with way more love in his eyes than my own boyfriend does. FML

#21237384
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34185) - you deserved it (4481)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:06am - animals - by hopeless romantic - United States (Ohio)

Today, I succeeded in getting a seat on a crowded bus. I regretted this when, after a couple of stops, a big guy boarded the bus and stood next to me with his penis pressed against my shoulder. Longest. Bus ride. Ever. FML

#21236507
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35940) - you deserved it (3369)

On 08/13/2014 at 7:33am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I hooked up with a girl at a club, and we had sex. She just lay there like a corpse the whole time. It got so bad, I ended up faking an orgasm and blaming the lack of semen on a botched vasectomy. She actually believed it. What the hell? FML

#21235982
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36817) - you deserved it (8756)

On 08/12/2014 at 4:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35751) - you deserved it (21672)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)



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