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sysalis

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sysalis

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 5 January 1988 (26 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4371
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About sysalis : Stuff

sysalis's page activity

Visits<b>Welshite</b> - the 10/27/2012 at 10:07pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:49pm<b>Candeggina</b> - the 04/02/2011 at 8:49pm<b>xx_Lizzy_xx</b> - the 02/27/2011 at 4:12pm<b>rugby_girl</b> - the 02/18/2011 at 5:16pm

sysalis's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of sysalis's badges

sysalis's favorite FMLs

Today, I went on a first date. Everything was going well until he asked me, "So, what's the biggest thing you've stuck up your vag?" FML

#21281604
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18311) - you deserved it (1408)

On 10/20/2014 at 5:28am - intimacy - by bye loser (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend gave his penis a high five for not getting me pregnant. He does this every time I get my period. Every. Single. Time. FML

#21279390
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33687) - you deserved it (5443)

On 10/16/2014 at 9:27pm - love - by highfive - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I never really thought that my boyfriend and brother having the same name was too weird. Until I called out his name during climax. FML

#21279374
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31863) - you deserved it (4169)

On 10/16/2014 at 9:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got stitches in my breast. I never knew how much they jiggled until every bump on the road made my breast feel like it was on fire. FML

#21278689
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33144) - you deserved it (2443)

On 10/15/2014 at 10:33pm - health - by BoobiePain - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, coming home, I opened up my door to find my drunk boyfriend trying to teach our three baby parakeets to perch on his erect penis. FML

#21278553
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33071) - you deserved it (3595)

On 10/15/2014 at 7:36pm - misc - by facepalm (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I discovered that I climax sooner if I think about pretzels. Yes, pretzels. The food product. I'll never be able to eat them again. FML

#21278160
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31637) - you deserved it (4367)

On 10/15/2014 at 2:26am - intimacy - by datgurllllukno (woman) - United States

Today, it's the first birthday of the condom in my pocket. FML

#21276832
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34504) - you deserved it (6923)

On 10/13/2014 at 10:15am - intimacy - by badplacerightnow (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in the missionary position. Once again, our cat decided to crawl onto his back and stare at me. FML

#21276776
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31127) - you deserved it (4399)

On 10/13/2014 at 6:20am - intimacy - by Drafrica (woman) - South Africa

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of three years, who can't get it up for me and has been blaming blood pressure issues, apparently has no problem getting it up while watching the neighbor undress from our window. FML

#21276105
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35659) - you deserved it (4054)

On 10/12/2014 at 9:21am - intimacy - by MotherMary - United States (Missouri)

Today, a nurse asked my relationship status. I answered, "Married". She then asked if there was any possibility of me being pregnant. I hardly contained my snort, before responding, "No, you have to have sex for that." I'm not sure what's worse, the fact that it's true or her laughter. FML

#21275225
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35174) - you deserved it (4820)

On 10/10/2014 at 9:25pm - intimacy - by bluevix (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I finally lost my virginity. Too bad it cost me every last shred of self-respect and involved begging a hooker to take my money. FML

#21275111
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30524) - you deserved it (17777)

On 10/10/2014 at 5:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found my first grey hair. How? My boyfriend stopped in the middle of sex to point it out. FML

#21274083
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33363) - you deserved it (3171)

On 10/09/2014 at 6:27am - love - by MoRuined (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my vagina. He replied, "What's that?" FML

#21271608
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34786) - you deserved it (15661)

On 10/05/2014 at 10:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, at age 31, I was about to finally lose my virginity. As we tumbled onto the bed, an excruciating pain shot through my stomach. It turned out to be a hernia, and no, I didn't get laid in the end. FML

#21271185
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35791) - you deserved it (3298)

On 10/05/2014 at 11:55am - intimacy - by fucksake (man) - Malaysia (Selangor)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have a quickie in the car. We had left a window open so it wasn't too hot, and I was holding onto the edge of the window, fingers hanging over. In the midst of it all, my boyfriend managed to close the window by hitting the button. My finger is broken. FML

#21270463
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32669) - you deserved it (9577)

On 10/04/2014 at 1:43am - intimacy - by manymisfortunes - Canada (Quebec)



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Friday 17 October 2014

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