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sysalis

Offline (the 12/17/2014 at 1:42am) | Search for a member

sysalis

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 5 January 1988 (26 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4673
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About sysalis : Stuff

sysalis's page activity

Visits<b>Welshite</b> - the 10/27/2012 at 10:07pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:49pm<b>Candeggina</b> - the 04/02/2011 at 8:49pm<b>xx_Lizzy_xx</b> - the 02/27/2011 at 4:12pm<b>rugby_girl</b> - the 02/18/2011 at 5:16pm

sysalis's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of sysalis's badges

sysalis's favorite FMLs

Today, I took out my old hairdryer and turned it on. I then gave my roommate a show as I ran out of the bathroom, naked and screaming, after a spider was blasted out of the hairdryer and directly at my face. FML

#21316166
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31704) - you deserved it (4019)

On 12/12/2014 at 11:35am - misc - by lateralligator - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out first-hand that the most horrifying sight you can ever witness is two morbidly obese people getting nasty with each other in a dance club's run-down, public restroom. FML

#21316146
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29902) - you deserved it (4231)

On 12/12/2014 at 11:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alaska)

Today, I confronted my boyfriend after he received a text with a bunch of hearts on it. After arguing, turns out it was from me. FML

#21316114
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14355) - you deserved it (36111)

On 12/12/2014 at 9:39am - misc - by well, now what - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I sat on the bus for 3 hours stuck in traffic trying to ignore the old lady sitting next to me discreetly masturbating. FML

Today, I got to experience the horror of my wife's pregnancy. She woke me up abruptly at 5 am by throwing up all over me due to her terrible morning sickness, then ate pickles covered in mayonnaise, and later dropped to the floor sobbing when I told her we were out of dog food. FML

#21315694
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34726) - you deserved it (4255)

On 12/11/2014 at 4:47pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was having sex when a cigarette craving came on. I don't know what's worse, the fact I asked for a cigarette break in the middle of sex or I last that long. FML

#21315600
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21834) - you deserved it (10031)

On 12/11/2014 at 1:33pm - intimacy - by cigarettes - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend uses a period tracker app to find out when we can fuck. FML

#21315592
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30291) - you deserved it (6120)

On 12/11/2014 at 1:13pm - intimacy - by Anon - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I thought it'd be fun to kick open one of those unisex bathrooms in my workplace. I'm not sure who was more surprised, me or my boss who was in there taking a dump. FML

#21315499
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13481) - you deserved it (34087)

On 12/11/2014 at 8:26am - work - by unlucky (woman) - Hong Kong

Today, I woke up from a wet dream. My girlfriend quickly figured it out and bitched me out for having one when she was "right there" for me to ask for sex. Logic failure aside, the last time I flirted with her, she called me a sex-obsessed pig and didn't talk to me for three days. FML

#21315008
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33374) - you deserved it (3245)

On 12/10/2014 at 1:16pm - intimacy - by unlovedandunfucked (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I confessed to my roommate of 4 years that I'm in love with her. Her response? Sticking her tongue out at me and blowing a raspberry. FML

#21314515
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27397) - you deserved it (3483)

On 12/09/2014 at 4:19pm - love - by thatsnice - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I told my boss I have a sore throat. He replied, "Well, don't take it so deep next time." FML

#21314442
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32133) - you deserved it (5295)

On 12/09/2014 at 1:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, my sister turned the volume on my phone way up and changed the ringtone to a woman's blood-curdling scream. I found this out when she called my phone at 2am as I slept next to it. I pissed my pants and fell out of bed screaming in terror. I'll never hear the end of this. FML

#21313211
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37198) - you deserved it (3601)

On 12/07/2014 at 3:54pm - kids - by terdberglerforlyfe (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, I had a performance. I have to go bra-less to wear my gown and I didn't want any peek-a-boos. I asked my boyfriend to bring "large band-aids" without telling him why I needed them. He brought waterproof, top-notch tough ones. They're still stuck to me, and are not coming off anytime soon. FML

#21310328
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28964) - you deserved it (6138)

On 12/02/2014 at 8:14pm - misc - by smiles (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I discovered that the reason the phone I've had for a year takes such terrible and cloudy pictures is because I never took the plastic coating off the lens. FML

Today, my wife was giving me a blowjob when I foolishly asked her how she got so good at giving them. She looked straight into my eyes and replied, "Practising on about six guys before you." FML

#21308641
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30355) - you deserved it (17675)

On 11/30/2014 at 8:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)



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