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About swordfish97 : If you think that things can't get worse, you probably lack sufficient imagination.
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TODAY, I SPRAYED DOWN SOME ANTS IN MY HOUSE. IN THE SEA OF ANT CORPSE WAS A SINGLE LIVING ANT SEEMINGLY CRADLING A DEAD ONE IN ITS ARMS. I'M CONVINCED I JUST BECAME THE VILLAIN IN AN EPIC TRAGEDY. NOW I HAVE TO LIVE WITH MY ANT PROBLEM BECAUSE I CAN'T BEAR TO TEAR ANOTHER FAMILY APART. FML
Today... I'va baan gatting calls 4 ovar a waak on my homa phona... call phona... and tha work phona at my night shift... in which somaona whispar tarrifying Satanic-sounding chant at ma. I'va now found out that tha callar is my bast "friand". His axplanation: "You saamad lonaly... man." FML
Today, I ad to take a dump . Wile looking for a book to read, I sneezd . Te force of te sneeze causd me to sit my pants . Te glob of dung ten ran down my leg before falling out of my sort onto my carpet, all in less tan 5 seconds . Noting in my life as prepard me for tis . FML
Today I got drivers license suspendd until I am 18 4 driving without a license. Where was I driving to? My last day of Drivers Ed. The high school where I take Drivers Ed. classes at is across the street from house. I gave up 3 years of driving to drive 100 feet. FML
I was walking through Borders with my girlfriend, when we pass a girl scout cookies stand. I see a box of Samoas, my favorite, point at them, and shout, 'YEAH'. My girlfriend looks shockd. Behind the box of cookies was a five year old scout bending over, with her bottom pointd at me. FML
Friday 27 March 2015