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swordfish97

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swordfish97
  • Town/Country : Guymon, 'Murica
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 22 March 1997 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 157
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About swordfish97 : If you think that things can't get worse, you probably lack sufficient imagination.

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swordfish97's favorite FMLs

Today, my dog died. In the same kitchen corner that two of my other dogs have died. I have a "Corner Of Death" in my kitchen. FML

#20833377
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49692) - you deserved it (2738)

On 08/12/2013 at 4:17am - animals - by The Corner Of Death (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML

#20824961
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44193) - you deserved it (20773)

On 08/07/2013 at 1:40am - animals - by Blood on my hands (woman) - United States

Today, I've been getting calls for over a week on my home phone, cell phone, and the work phone at my night shift, in which someone whispers terrifying Satanic-sounding chants at me. I've now found out that the caller is my best "friend". His explanation: "You seemed lonely, man." FML

#20820394
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41186) - you deserved it (4092)

On 08/04/2013 at 2:07pm - misc - by newbffswelcome (man) - Vietnam (Ha Noi)

Today, at work as an EMT, I was telling a panicked patient that I would be taking her vital signs. I inadvertently said that I would be taking her vital organs. FML

#20137874
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13991) - you deserved it (2475)

On 10/28/2012 at 11:10pm - work - by Medic - United States (Washington)

Today, while grocery shopping, my Dad asked me what I wanted for 'Din-Dins' while scratching his nuts. In a crowded aisle. Wearing short shorts. FML

#13071256
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25702) - you deserved it (2620)

On 09/16/2010 at 5:04am - misc - by itchybollos - Australia

Today, I was walking around my new school trying to figure out where to go. Then I realized I was talking to myself. Out loud. FML

#8578589
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16138) - you deserved it (9206)

On 02/23/2010 at 1:25am - misc - by itsawonderfulife (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was sent to the hospital for being knocked out with a potato. FML

#7290118
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24886) - you deserved it (3442)

On 01/11/2010 at 10:40pm - health - by brileyyyy - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

#5828114
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84225) - you deserved it (13912)

On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got my drivers license suspended until I am 18 for driving without a license. Where was I driving to? My last day of Drivers Ed. The high school where I take Drivers Ed. classes at is across the street from my house. I gave up 3 years of driving to drive 100 feet. FML

#2822443
331 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23953) - you deserved it (92040)

On 06/12/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by studentdriver828 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was walking through Borders with my girlfriend, when we pass a girl scout cookies stand. I see a box of Samoas, my favorite, point at them, and shout, 'YEAH'. My girlfriend looks shocked. Behind the box of cookies was a five year old scout bending over, with her bottom pointed at me. FML

#170218
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52074) - you deserved it (13675)

On 03/01/2009 at 12:55pm - misc - by Scottrick (man) - United States (Virginia)



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