About swoozie23 : Always on this on my phone because I don't really do a lot at work...
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by kalikanna / 07/07/2012 at 2:10am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, I took the day off work to be with my wife, since she's always bemoaning my lack of romantic gestures. As thanks, she spent most of the day reading Fifty Shades of Grey, which is basically a blatant plagiarism of Twilight, starring a pair of two-dimensional BDSM freaks. FML
by boblaj / 05/22/2012 at 12:11pm / United Kingdom (East Sussex) / Love
Today, I really had to pee while babysitting. Normally this isn't a problem, except the kids were sleeping and going potty would wake them up right before their parents were due home. Desperate, I decided to pee in a cup in the kitchen and wash it down the sink. Their parents came home mid-stream. FML
by fired / 05/13/2012 at 2:26am / United States (Oregon) / Work
Today, I asked my dad if my girlfriend could sleep over. He winked at me and agreed. When I brought her home, we went to my room for a quickie. There, I saw that my dad had taped multiple Richard Simmons posters to the wall, causing my girlfriend to suddenly come down with a "headache." FML
by cockblocked / 05/11/2012 at 2:29pm / United States (South Carolina) / Love
by SomePeoplesKids / 05/08/2012 at 2:08am / Canada (Alberta) / Kids
by girly / 04/12/2012 at 12:06am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
by Rapunzel / 03/18/2012 at 4:02pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
by bobbeta30 / 01/11/2012 at 11:33am / United States (New York) / Money
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- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…