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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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swkisses5

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swkisses5
  • Town/Country : Sacramento, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 18 June 1989 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 422
  • Number of comments : 80
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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swkisses5's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother stormed into my room shouting about how I never go anywhere and then tells me to go out "NOW" and do something. As she is pushing me out the door, her boyfriend walks in. FML

#8843088 (147)

I agree, your life sucks (19308) - you deserved it (1501)

On 03/05/2010 at 10:39am - misc - by FatalxDesire599 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, the guy I liked for years asked me out. I instantly said yes. As I was walking away, I forgot I was at the top of the stairs and feel down 20 steps. He stood at the top and laughed. FML

#8837679 (88)

I agree, your life sucks (14374) - you deserved it (3775)

On 03/05/2010 at 12:24am - love - by harro101 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I stole a bite of my boyfriend's hamburger. He threw a fit, saying I took too big a bite and I had to replace it with a new, more expensive one. Afterwards, he said how lucky I was he didn't break up with me then and there. FML

#8822462 (391)

I agree, your life sucks (24144) - you deserved it (6342)

On 03/04/2010 at 12:15pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Estonia (Harjumaa)

Today, I walked past a group of men at the mall and one of them mooed at me. FML

#7916627 (186)

I agree, your life sucks (20064) - you deserved it (4492)

On 02/05/2010 at 9:18pm - misc - by LynnJ (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to the store to get Valentine's Day gifts to decorate my boyfriend's and my new apartment. He was there shopping with his wife. FML

#7846539 (142)

I agree, your life sucks (26113) - you deserved it (3311)

On 02/03/2010 at 1:47pm - love - by fantastic - Sent from mobile version

Today, I made a friend on an online chat. We got along fairly well and even traded Facebook accounts. I found out that the two of us had a lot of very surprising things in common. We were the same age, we were from the same school, and we even had the same boyfriend. FML

#7805682 (154)

I agree, your life sucks (28078) - you deserved it (2081)

On 02/02/2010 at 1:57am - misc - by Zephyric - United States (California)

Today, I was in the car with my friends. A techno song came on and we started fist pumping. We hit a bump, I fist pumped myself in the face, and crashed into a stop sign. FML

#7803778 (183)

I agree, your life sucks (7225) - you deserved it (32663)

On 02/02/2010 at 12:51am - misc - by wolfpacking - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was walking by a pond when I saw a small frog. I decided to catch it to get a close look. After I picked it up, I realized that it was not a frog. It was dog shit shaped like a frog. FML

#7776158 (110)

I agree, your life sucks (8264) - you deserved it (22895)

On 02/01/2010 at 9:34am - animals - by adad - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML

#7773873 (440)

I agree, your life sucks (72167) - you deserved it (7427)

On 02/01/2010 at 5:23am - misc - by doesnttastegood (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, I was in an elevator, and the hot girl who lives in my building and who I have a crush on got in. She was in a wheelchair with a broken leg, I panicked and tried to flirt with her, and I said 'Nice chair.' She replied 'Nice bruise' and punched me in the nuts. FML

#7766878 (224)

I agree, your life sucks (8219) - you deserved it (32046)

On 02/01/2010 at 12:15am - love - by Liam. - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was letting my boyfriend of 4 years tie me up and do stuff to me. After finishing on my face, he then left. My parents had to untie me. FML

#7609277 (333)

I agree, your life sucks (30287) - you deserved it (8123)

On 01/27/2010 at 8:35am - intimacy - by chanclepants - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. As I was beginning to enjoy and really get into it, I heard him say, "Oh my god, this is good shit." I looked up sexily, only to find that he was eating a Twinkie. FML

#7339757 (207)

I agree, your life sucks (18412) - you deserved it (3338)

On 01/14/2010 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by scubai (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, at a bar, a woman approched me and tried to set me up with her friend. Looking around, the only people in the bar were a man reading the paper and a very ugly woman, looking at me and smiling. I worriedly replied, "I'm sorry, but I'm gay." Turns out her friend was the one reading the paper. FML

#7295909 (114)

I agree, your life sucks (7554) - you deserved it (24907)

On 01/12/2010 at 5:26am - love - by awkward23 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was watching Free Willy with my boyfriend. It was at the part where the boy leaned into the water to give Willy a hug. I asked, "How do you even hug a whale?" My boyfriend rolled over and gave me a hug, and said, "Like this." FML

#7165792 (202)

I agree, your life sucks (27122) - you deserved it (9315)

On 01/05/2010 at 5:03pm - love - by leigh2812 - Sent from mobile version

Today, after having sex several times, my romantic boyfriend went down on me. He took one lick before exclaiming "ugh! gross! ew! oh that tastes disgusting!" FML

#7111701 (151)

I agree, your life sucks (15180) - you deserved it (4201)

On 01/02/2010 at 9:14pm - intimacy - by noblow (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)