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swinglifeaway123's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 07/22/2011 at 2:29am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I was having some intense sex with my boyfriend. I was wailing so loud that my neighbors decided to call the police on us. According to them, it sounded like I was "being tortured to death". FML
by Anonymous / 04/08/2011 at 7:42pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
by bride / 02/14/2011 at 1:24am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, a cop pulled me over because there was a sign hidden behind a tree that said "No left turn". As I was getting my ticket, I watched as three cars turned left. The cop saw them, laughed, and said, "I guess you're the unlucky one." FML
by copper / 01/29/2011 at 9:20pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend was going down on me, when I heard my dog start growling. He must have thought my girlfriend was hurting me, because out of nowhere and before I could do anything, he attacked her. FML
by ohsnap / 01/22/2011 at 4:24pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/07/2010 at 1:23am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
Today, I was on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy comes and sits next to me. Next thing I know, he lets out a loud fart, then looks my way with pride. I stare back in shock. He then says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML
by flying13 / 11/03/2010 at 3:27am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was on Skype with a guy I really like, in the living room. My dad saw that I was on video chat, got undressed, right down to his bright green y-fronts, and then started dancing behind me. My crush saw it all. FML
by maddiee. / 10/21/2010 at 11:20am / Indonesia (Jakarta Raya) / Miscellaneous
Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML
by Anonymous / 10/13/2010 at 9:20am / Spain (Asturias) / Intimacy
Today, when I stopped at a light, I tossed a banana peel into a field along the side of the road. The man behind me got out of his car, picked up the banana peel and threw it back into my car at me. When I tried to tell him it was biodegradable, he told me to "stop making up words." FML
by Anonymous / 10/01/2010 at 9:47am / United Kingdom / Transportation
by hannah12345 / 02/26/2010 at 12:54pm / Intimacy
by syl / 02/11/2010 at 1:18am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
Today, I was working at IHOP serving a table full of drunk idiots. After an hour of taking care of them I went to clean up their mess to find the tip they had left me. On a napkin a girl had wrote "Here's your tip for the night: Don't play leap frog with unicorns." FML
by Juggalette / 01/28/2010 at 7:14pm / United States (Michigan) / Work
Today, a man I don't know came up to me and started screaming about how "all you damn Mexicans were stealing American's jobs" and he stormed off. I'm Native American, and I'm pretty sure we've been here longer. FML
by hardtotell / 01/21/2010 at 7:45pm / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous
Today, when I walked up to my car, all my windows were smashed. Thankfully, all I keep in my car is jumper cables, a pen, my car insurance and manual. Whoever smashed my windows apparently was pissed, 'cos they left a note saying "F**k you and your f**king station wagon". FML
by Smashed / 11/15/2009 at 6:16pm / United States (Illinois) / Transportation