About swinglifeaway123 : I like trains
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Today, I asked the girl I like to send me 'yummy pictures.' I got a picture of cheesecake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8471) - you deserved it (71929)
On 07/22/2011 at 2:29am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I was having some intense sex with my boyfriend. I was wailing so loud that my neighbors decided to call the police on us. According to them, it sounded like I was "being tortured to death". FML
I agree, your life sucks (15347) - you deserved it (29684)
On 04/08/2011 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I dreamed I was getting married. I was wearing a white dress, had incredible cleavage and perfectly done makeup. Just one problem. I'm a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40122) - you deserved it (7612)
On 02/14/2011 at 1:24am - misc - by bride (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, a cop pulled me over because there was a sign hidden behind a tree that said "No left turn". As I was getting my ticket, I watched as three cars turned left. The cop saw them, laughed, and said, "I guess you're the unlucky one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31736) - you deserved it (2432)
On 01/29/2011 at 9:20pm - misc - by copper - United States (Texas)
Today, my girlfriend was going down on me, when I heard my dog start growling. He must have thought my girlfriend was hurting me, because out of nowhere and before I could do anything, he attacked her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24986) - you deserved it (4602)
On 01/22/2011 at 4:24pm - intimacy - by ohsnap (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I spent hours voluntarily decorating my town for Christmas. After a break, I came back to find someone had re-positioned the wooden reindeer to make it look like they were humping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18395) - you deserved it (6476)
On 12/07/2010 at 1:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was sitting on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy came and sat next to me. Next thing I know, he farts loudly, then proudly looks my way. I stared back in shock. He says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49247) - you deserved it (9964)
On 11/03/2010 at 3:27am - misc - by flying13 (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I was on Skype with a guy I really like, in the living room. My dad saw that I was on video chat, got undressed, right down to his bright green y-fronts, and then started dancing behind me. My crush saw it all. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29309) - you deserved it (5187)
On 10/21/2010 at 11:20am - misc - by maddiee. (woman) - Indonesia (Jakarta Raya)
Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (28959) - you deserved it (16286)
On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)
Today, when I stopped at a light, I tossed a banana peel into a field along the side of the road. The man behind me got out of his car, picked up the banana peel and threw it back into my car at me. When I tried to tell him it was biodegradable, he told me to "stop making up words." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19039) - you deserved it (21722)
On 10/01/2010 at 9:47am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom
Today, my mother walked in on my boyfriend licking whipped cream off my nipples. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9223) - you deserved it (17342)
On 02/26/2010 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by hannah12345 - Sent from mobile version
Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis "Jesus". For the last two hours he's been continuously asking if I "want to be touched by Jesus" or will I "let Jesus in to spread his warmth." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14111) - you deserved it (3961)
On 02/11/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by syl - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was working at IHOP serving a table full of drunk idiots. After an hour of taking care of them I went to clean up their mess to find the tip they had left me. On a napkin a girl had wrote "Here's your tip for the night: Don't play leap frog with unicorns." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23536) - you deserved it (2290)
On 01/28/2010 at 7:14pm - work - by Juggalette (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, a man I don't know came up to me and started screaming about how "all you damn Mexicans were stealing American's jobs" and he stormed off. I'm Native American, and I'm pretty sure we've been here longer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43223) - you deserved it (3473)
On 01/21/2010 at 7:45pm - misc - by hardtotell (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, when I walked up to my car, all my windows were smashed. Thankfully, all I keep in my car is jumper cables, a pen, my car insurance and manual. Whoever smashed my windows apparently was pissed, 'cos they left a note saying "F**k you and your f**king station wagon". FML
I agree, your life sucks (22602) - you deserved it (1615)
On 11/15/2009 at 6:16pm - misc - by Smashed (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Monday 17 June 2013
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