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swinglifeaway123

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 602
  • Number of comments : 114
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

About swinglifeaway123 : I like trains

swinglifeaway123's page activity

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swinglifeaway123's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked the girl I like to send me 'yummy pictures.' I got a picture of cheesecake. FML

#17213168
370 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10379) - you deserved it (94125)

On 07/22/2011 at 2:29am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was having some intense sex with my boyfriend. I was wailing so loud that my neighbors decided to call the police on us. According to them, it sounded like I was "being tortured to death". FML

#15698653
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18128) - you deserved it (33614)

On 04/08/2011 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I dreamed I was getting married. I was wearing a white dress, had incredible cleavage and perfectly done makeup. Just one problem. I'm a guy. FML

#14968643
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46718) - you deserved it (9260)

On 02/14/2011 at 1:24am - misc - by bride (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a cop pulled me over because there was a sign hidden behind a tree that said "No left turn". As I was getting my ticket, I watched as three cars turned left. The cop saw them, laughed, and said, "I guess you're the unlucky one." FML

#14764680
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38243) - you deserved it (3209)

On 01/29/2011 at 9:20pm - misc - by copper - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend was going down on me, when I heard my dog start growling. He must have thought my girlfriend was hurting me, because out of nowhere and before I could do anything, he attacked her. FML

#14675565
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29957) - you deserved it (5067)

On 01/22/2011 at 4:24pm - intimacy - by ohsnap (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I spent hours voluntarily decorating my town for Christmas. After a break, I came back to find someone had re-positioned the wooden reindeer to make it look like they were humping. FML

#14115471
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23964) - you deserved it (7913)

On 12/07/2010 at 1:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy comes and sits next to me. Next thing I know, he lets out a loud fart, then looks my way with pride. I stare back in shock. He then says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML

#13697892
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56005) - you deserved it (12083)

On 11/03/2010 at 3:27am - misc - by flying13 (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was on Skype with a guy I really like, in the living room. My dad saw that I was on video chat, got undressed, right down to his bright green y-fronts, and then started dancing behind me. My crush saw it all. FML

#13536412
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35217) - you deserved it (6600)

On 10/21/2010 at 11:20am - misc - by maddiee. (woman) - Indonesia (Jakarta Raya)

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

#13432324
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35747) - you deserved it (20899)

On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)

Today, when I stopped at a light, I tossed a banana peel into a field along the side of the road. The man behind me got out of his car, picked up the banana peel and threw it back into my car at me. When I tried to tell him it was biodegradable, he told me to "stop making up words." FML

#13274886
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24049) - you deserved it (29173)

On 10/01/2010 at 9:47am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my mother walked in on my boyfriend licking whipped cream off my nipples. FML

#8663511
367 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12464) - you deserved it (26234)

On 02/26/2010 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by hannah12345 - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis "Jesus". For the last two hours he's been continuously asking if I "want to be touched by Jesus" or will I "let Jesus in to spread his warmth." FML

#8119072
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19380) - you deserved it (4579)

On 02/11/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by syl - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was working at IHOP serving a table full of drunk idiots. After an hour of taking care of them I went to clean up their mess to find the tip they had left me. On a napkin a girl had wrote "Here's your tip for the night: Don't play leap frog with unicorns." FML

Today, a man I don't know came up to me and started screaming about how "all you damn Mexicans were stealing American's jobs" and he stormed off. I'm Native American, and I'm pretty sure we've been here longer. FML

#7482237
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49462) - you deserved it (3932)

On 01/21/2010 at 7:45pm - misc - by hardtotell (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, when I walked up to my car, all my windows were smashed. Thankfully, all I keep in my car is jumper cables, a pen, my car insurance and manual. Whoever smashed my windows apparently was pissed, 'cos they left a note saying "F**k you and your f**king station wagon". FML

#6315391
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27810) - you deserved it (2190)

On 11/15/2009 at 6:16pm - misc - by Smashed (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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