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About swinglifeaway123 : I like trains
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yesterday I was having some intense sex with my boyfriend. I was wailing so loud that my neighbors decided to call the police on us. According to them, it sounded lyk I was "being tortured to death". FML
Today, a cop pulled me over cuz there was a sign hidden behind looool a tree that said "No left turn" . As I was getting my ticket, I watched as three cars turned left . The cop saw them, laughed, an said, "I guess your the unlucky one." FML
Today, mah girlfriend was going down on me, when I hered mah dog start growling. He must have thought mah girlfriend was hurting me, because out of nowhere and before I could do anything, he attacked her. FML
Yesterday, I was on a bench enjoying the sun,hen a guy comes and sits next to me. Next thing I know, he lets out a loud fart, then looks way with pride. I stare back in shock. He then says to me, "Yeah, that just happend," and walks off. FML
Today, I Was On Skype With A Guy I Really Like, In The Living Room. My Dad Saw That I Was On Video Chat, Got Undressed, Right Down To His Bright Green Y-fronts, An Then Started Dancing Behind Me. My Crush Saw It All. FML
Today, when I stopped at a light, I tossed a banana peel into a field along the side of the road. The man behind me got out of his car, picked up the banana peel and threw it back into car at me. When I tried to tell him it was biodegradable, he told me to "stop making up words." FML
Today, I was working at IHOP serving a table full of drunk idiots. After an hour of taking care of them I went to clean up thier mess to find the tip they had left me. On a napkin a girl had wrote "Here's yur tip 4 the night: Don't play leap frog with unicorns." FML
TODAY, A MAN I DON'T KNOW CUMMED UP TO ME AN STARTED SCREAMING ABOUT HOW "ALL U DAMN MEXICANS WERE STEALING AMERICAN'S JOBS" AN HE STORMED OFF. I'M NATIVE AMERICAN, AN I'M PRETTY SURE WE'VE BEEN HERE LONGER. FML
Today, when I walkd up to mah car, all mah windows were smashd !! Thankfully, all I keep in mah car is jumper cables, a pen, mah car insurance an manual !! Whoever smashd mah windows apparently was pissd, 'cos they left a note saying "F**k u an yur f**king station wagon" !! FML
Friday 27 March 2015