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swinglifeaway123

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 614
  • Number of comments : 114
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

About swinglifeaway123 : I like trains

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swinglifeaway123's favorite FMLs

Today, while lying in bed with my boyfriend after some steamy lovemaking, he sat up, slapped my ass with excruciating force, and screamed, "I AM THE THUNDER!" directly into my ear. It seems our senses of humor differ considerably. FML

#17984134
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29240) - you deserved it (5983)

On 10/14/2011 at 7:03pm - intimacy - by myasshurts - United States (Michigan)

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

#17981940
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44897) - you deserved it (5038)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States

Today, somebody ordered pizza and sent it to the house across the street from them, so they could shoot at the pizza guy with an air-soft gun from the upstairs of their house. I was that delivery guy. FML

#17973373
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30397) - you deserved it (1914)

On 10/13/2011 at 4:17am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my car got acquainted with about 3 dozen eggs. FML

#17924502
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21603) - you deserved it (2893)

On 10/06/2011 at 11:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, on my way home, my girlfriend started sexting me, telling me that she was waiting at my house. In my rush to get home to see her, I got pulled over and had to be patted down. He found no weapons, but he did find my stiffy. FML

#17906295
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36165) - you deserved it (10961)

On 10/04/2011 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, my boyfriend still couldn't work out where my clitoris is. It's RIGHT THERE, you idiot. I've pointed it out, but each time it's like he needs a compass and a map or something. FML

#17847323
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35351) - you deserved it (11713)

On 09/27/2011 at 11:56am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I shat a magnet. FML

#17843744
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11935) - you deserved it (31070)

On 09/26/2011 at 10:51pm - health - by mimi - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went out with a guy I really liked for the first time. He tried to hold my hands, only to be stopped by my mum, jumping out from nowhere saying "Oh no you don't!" before slapping him. This isn't the first time this has happened. FML

#17827987
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40599) - you deserved it (3264)

On 09/25/2011 at 6:26am - love - by Anonymous - Singapore

Today, my boyfriend took me on a surprise date to an expensive restaurant. After the meal, he got down on his knee and proposed. We've only been dating for two weeks, so I said no. He just silently kept staring me in the eyes, no matter what I said or did. I ended up having to walk home. FML

#17809445
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32817) - you deserved it (5385)

On 09/22/2011 at 11:05pm - love - by Storm (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend took me on a surprise date to an expensive restaurant. After the meal, he got down on his knee and proposed. We've only been dating for two weeks, so I said no. He just silently kept staring me in the eyes, no matter what I said or did. I ended up having to walk home. FML

#17809445
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32817) - you deserved it (5385)

On 09/22/2011 at 11:05pm - love - by Storm (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after being dumped by my boyfriend of two years, I poured my heart out to my dad. He nodded and looked sympathetic throughout. Afterwards, I asked him what I should do. He replied, "How the hell should I know?" and awkwardly left my room. FML

#17776041
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21843) - you deserved it (5054)

On 09/18/2011 at 10:07pm - love - by Lisa - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I will be sleeping in my aunt and uncle's living room. It is 90 degrees. There is an air conditioner but if you turn it on, the raccoons living in the wall will get pissed off and try to claw through the wall. Only five more nights sweating my balls off or imagining racoons having angry sex. FML

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML

#17751753
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35798) - you deserved it (5396)

On 09/15/2011 at 4:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked in on my new college roommate holding his cock. He said "Hi I'm Jeffrey, and this is Jeffrey junior" while directing attention towards his penis. It's going to be a long semester. FML

#17574583
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34887) - you deserved it (2581)

On 08/25/2011 at 1:26am - intimacy - by InAnAwkwardSituation - United States (New York)

Today, I was helping clean my grandpa's garage when I found some of his old election posters from the '50s. They included slogans such as, "Dick: you know it feels right" and "Want growth? Choose Dick." I'm not sure whether to be disgusted or impressed. FML

#17279382
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26781) - you deserved it (4224)

On 07/27/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Nick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



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