swinglifeaway123

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swinglifeaway123

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 793
  • Number of comments : 114
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

About swinglifeaway123 : I like trains

swinglifeaway123's page activity

Visits<b>odinhasaboner</b> - the 03/05/2016 at 9:05am<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 10:34am<b>maaj</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 4:08am<b>Kasanovastar</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 4:46pm<b>boredSOLDIER</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 6:07pm<b>danthehuman</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 7:38pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 7:37pm<b>hihello18</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 12:11pm<b>munuxi</b> - the 12/19/2014 at 6:24pm<b>Danaalo</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 1:52am<b>lord_meloetta</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 9:17pm<b>colby6666</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 5:01pm<b>FML_Elle</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 10:22pm<b>maxsing</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 7:00pm<b>mcdekree</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 10:46pm<b>Darelis1216</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 1:11pm<b>minesbiggerr</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 9:04pm<b>odd_c</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 11:23pm

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swinglifeaway123's favorite FMLs

Today, while lying in bed with my boyfriend after some steamy lovemaking, he sat up, slapped my ass with excruciating force, and screamed, "I AM THE THUNDER!" directly into my ear. It seems our senses of humor differ considerably. FML

by myasshurts / 10/14/2011 at 7:03pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

by MLGreco / 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm / United States / Kids

Today, somebody ordered pizza and sent it to the house across the street from them, so they could shoot at the pizza guy with an air-soft gun from the upstairs of their house. I was that delivery guy. FML

by Anonymous / 10/13/2011 at 4:17am / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, my car got acquainted with about 3 dozen eggs. FML

by Anonymous / 10/06/2011 at 11:21pm / United States / Transportation

Today, on my way home, my girlfriend started sexting me, telling me that she was waiting at my house. In my rush to get home to see her, I got pulled over and had to be patted down. He found no weapons, but he did find my stiffy. FML

by Username / 10/04/2011 at 8:02pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend still couldn't work out where my clitoris is. It's RIGHT THERE, you idiot. I've pointed it out, but each time it's like he needs a compass and a map or something. FML

by Anonymous / 09/27/2011 at 11:56am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, I shat a magnet. FML

by mimi / 09/26/2011 at 10:51pm / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, I went out with a guy I really liked for the first time. He tried to hold my hands, only to be stopped by my mum, jumping out from nowhere saying "Oh no you don't!" before slapping him. This isn't the first time this has happened. FML

by Anonymous / 09/25/2011 at 6:26am / Singapore / Love

Today, my boyfriend took me on a surprise date to an expensive restaurant. After the meal, he got down on his knee and proposed. We've only been dating for two weeks, so I said no. He just silently kept staring me in the eyes, no matter what I said or did. I ended up having to walk home. FML

by Storm / 09/22/2011 at 11:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my boyfriend took me on a surprise date to an expensive restaurant. After the meal, he got down on his knee and proposed. We've only been dating for two weeks, so I said no. He just silently kept staring me in the eyes, no matter what I said or did. I ended up having to walk home. FML

by Storm / 09/22/2011 at 11:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, after being dumped by my boyfriend of two years, I poured my heart out to my dad. He nodded and looked sympathetic throughout. Afterwards, I asked him what I should do. He replied, "How the hell should I know?" and awkwardly left my room. FML

by Lisa / 09/18/2011 at 10:07pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, I will be sleeping in my aunt and uncle's living room. It is 90 degrees. There is an air conditioner but if you turn it on, the raccoons living in the wall will get pissed off and try to claw through the wall. Only five more nights sweating my balls off or imagining racoons having angry sex. FML

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML

by Anonymous / 09/15/2011 at 4:03pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I walked in on my new college roommate holding his cock. He said "Hi I'm Jeffrey, and this is Jeffrey junior" while directing attention towards his penis. It's going to be a long semester. FML

by InAnAwkwardSituation / 08/25/2011 at 1:26am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was helping clean my grandpa's garage when I found some of his old election posters from the '50s. They included slogans such as, "Dick: you know it feels right" and "Want growth? Choose Dick." I'm not sure whether to be disgusted or impressed. FML

by Nick / 07/27/2011 at 1:32pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous