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swinglifeaway123

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 622
  • Number of comments : 114
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

About swinglifeaway123 : I like trains

swinglifeaway123's page activity

Visits<b>Danaalo</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 1:52am<b>lord_meloetta</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 9:17pm<b>colby6666</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 5:01pm<b>FML_Elle</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 10:22pm<b>maxsing</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 7:00pm<b>mcdekree</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 10:46pm<b>Darelis1216</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 1:11pm<b>minesbiggerr</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 9:04pm<b>odd_c</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 11:23pm<b>therosalina</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 11:47pm<b>Broadway_Vayne</b> - the 10/14/2013 at 10:20pm<b>keeg14</b> - the 01/19/2013 at 10:56am

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swinglifeaway123's favorite FMLs

Today, during my first day as a medical intern in a new ward, I was performing a rectal exam. My supervisor thought it would be funny to burst into the room and scream, "Who are you?! You don't even work here, you pervert!" FML

#20486562
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47705) - you deserved it (3567) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/30/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by dr mamour - Sent from mobile version

Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML

#20483320
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45480) - you deserved it (5935) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/28/2013 at 2:52pm - animals - by Kitten_Love - Sent from mobile version

Today, I have severe back pain that is only relieved by lying flat on my bed. I also have acid reflux that is only prevented by sitting straight up. FML

#20453200
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37722) - you deserved it (2479)

On 01/11/2013 at 3:03am - health - by Kftc88 - United States (California)

Today, my roommate stumbled in drunk at 5am with 3 Big Macs, and passed out on the floor after eating them. This happens almost every night. I stay in, study, work, and go to the gym almost everyday. And she still has better grades, a better body, and makes more money than me. FML

#20436604
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51544) - you deserved it (3973)

On 01/01/2013 at 4:00pm - misc - by apparentlythereisnokarma - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement, and I thought it was working really well, until he sighed, "For fuck's sake, it's a dick, not a shotgun." and told me to stop embarrassing him. FML

#20399775
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34039) - you deserved it (8335)

On 12/14/2012 at 7:27pm - intimacy - by sucks at sucking (woman) - United Kingdom (Bournemouth)

Today, I was sitting cross-legged, idly jerkin' the gherkin. I guess I got slightly carried away, because I zoned out, forgot where I was aiming, and came all over the side of my face, up my nose and into my eye. FML

Today, my girlfriend openly mocked me, calling me an idiot for thinking seahorses are real. She insists that they're like unicorns, and only exist in fiction. FML

#19011478
359 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37012) - you deserved it (4288)

On 02/06/2012 at 4:52pm - animals - by BoringFucker (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML

#18974920
216 comments

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML

#18954927
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30902) - you deserved it (4971)

On 01/30/2012 at 7:25pm - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States

Today, I was texting a guy that one of my friends told me about. She gave me his number and told me about how he was deaf. Three hours into great conversation I forgot and asked him what his favorite music was. FML

#18875593
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24563) - you deserved it (10239)

On 01/21/2012 at 11:17pm - love - by Scumbagmemory (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was screaming at my neighbor to shut his dog up. After 30 minutes of bellowing, he yelled back that it was my dog that was barking. He was right. FML

#18622052
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6962) - you deserved it (48312)

On 12/27/2011 at 2:12am - misc - by Yo mom - United States (California)

Today, I grabbed some lotion to have a good old wank. However, I'd got it a bit wrong in my rush to spurt my man-mush into an old gym sock, and had picked up some concentrated bronzer. I now have neon-orange hands and genitals. FML

#18556841
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8905) - you deserved it (44732)

On 12/19/2011 at 9:29pm - intimacy - by Colton (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I caught my mother attempting to write a $1400 cheque. To whom? The proprietor of a "Christian charity fund" with whom she had been having Internet conversations. The proprietor's name, and that on the cheque, was "Herp McDerpington". FML

#18540980
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30969) - you deserved it (2403)

On 12/18/2011 at 12:18am - misc - by scammed - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my sister's boyfriend said the only thing he'd change about her was her last name. My boyfriend told me he'd change the shape of my nose. FML

#18458740
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26639) - you deserved it (3262)

On 12/08/2011 at 4:14am - love - by disappoint - United States (Florida)

Today, I turned in an overdue English assignment at college. My instructor accused me of plagiarism, writing that my sentence structure was "TO" good. Seriously? FML

#18119295
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31387) - you deserved it (3880)

On 10/31/2011 at 6:09am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Peterborough)



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