About swimmerstud : Im 16 and like apple pies.
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swimmerstud's favorite FMLs
Today, my boyfriend's transition into an annoying hipster is complete. It started with the not-really-necessary nerd glasses and the Mötley Crüe t-shirt, the final straw being the affected British accent. I'm considering where to dump the body. FML
by Anonymous / 09/24/2012 at 1:07am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
Today, I invited my boyfriend to his first dinner out with my family. As my older brother was discussing the injuries he'd received while working as a tow truck driver, my innocent 10 year old brother piped up saying he should see what I did to my boyfriend's back with my nails. FML
by SerendipityRose / 09/13/2012 at 1:03pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, a creepy girl from my class wouldn't stop texting me and trying to call me. In order to get her to stop, I texted back saying that I was at my mom's house for a family dinner. She replied, "No you're not. I can see you right now." FML
by Anonymous / 09/12/2012 at 5:06pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I looked over at the car parked next to me and noticed a very large woman plucking her mustache. She locked eyes with me and kept plucking. After that, every time I looked over, she was still staring. Staring and plucking. Now when I close my eyes, I can still see her. FML
by banana2894 / 08/10/2012 at 12:40am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/25/2012 at 6:54am / United States (California) / Kids
by Anonymous / 07/05/2012 at 12:01am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by audreyav / 06/30/2012 at 4:10am / United States (Oregon) / Animals
by Anonymous / 06/12/2012 at 7:58am / United States (Maine) / Intimacy
Today, I was telling my best friend that I was feeling unattractive, and that I never get asked out. As she was trying to make me feel better, we were interrupted by a stranger trying to hit on her. FML
by ugly / 06/11/2012 at 8:01am / Australia / Love
Today, I was trying to take my shirt off. It was an awkward fit, so I had to basically wrestle it for five minutes. The kicker was that I was giving my boyfriend a striptease. He laughed so hard and for so long that we never had sex. FML
by Damn / 06/05/2012 at 3:36pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by Scared / 06/04/2012 at 8:54pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals
by cloudberry / 05/27/2012 at 4:00am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I accidentally kicked a can and it hit a man's shoe. He tried to kick it at me but his foot somehow failed to connect with the can. I could hear it rattling behind me as he failed again and again. So he decided to run up behind me and throw it at my head. FML
by thepigeonsfriend / 05/07/2012 at 10:08am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, it was snowing, and the campus looked just lovely. I sat on a nearby window ledge to enjoy the view. I was joined by a girl who looked fascinated as well, so I decided to make small talk. She nodded, smiled wistfully, and said, "There's herpes in the air today." FML
by intheairtonight / 04/25/2012 at 2:22am / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy
by SeeingLlamas / 04/17/2012 at 5:38am / United States (Tennessee) / Health
- 1Today, I've stopped smoking, lost 30 pounds, taken several painful tests, and checked my ovulation… 2Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had… 3Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went…