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Offline (the 12/31/2014 at 10:03pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 956
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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swimfreak77's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

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swimfreak77's favorite FMLs

Today, my son said his first word. Unfortunately, that word was "cock." I've tried convincing myself that he's trying to say "clock" but I just can't do it. FML

by Anonymous / 07/31/2014 at 12:24pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids

Today, a new session started for my swimming squad. I walked down to the pool, tripped over a stray equipment bag, and belly-flopped into the pool in front of everyone, fully clothed. I'm the coach. FML

by Anonymous / 07/31/2014 at 1:00am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, I found out that my son has been trying to save enough of his earwax to make a candle. FML

by Anonymous / 07/14/2014 at 1:45pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, I decided to try something new with my boyfriend, and sexted him. My text ended up sounding so stupid that I panicked and quickly sent another saying "SORRY WRONG PERSON". FML

by guriak / 07/13/2014 at 9:16pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boss delivered some flowers and a sympathy card signed by everyone in the office to my cubicle. The card said, "Sorry your mom died". My mom isn't dead. I don't know where they got the idea from and no one believes me. They said that denial is part of grieving. FML

by ninnang / 07/09/2014 at 5:37pm / United States (Hawaii) / Work

Today, I had this really high fever and my sister decides I'm hot enough to fry an egg on. So I'm lying in bed now, still terribly feverish but smelling of the egg she cracked on my back. FML

by egged / 07/07/2014 at 9:41pm / Singapore / Health

Today, I went to see the school counselor to schedule my classes for school. She asked me if I knew how to speak English. My parents are Chinese and I don't even know how to speak Chinese. I've lived in America my whole life. Plus, I even spoke to her in English to ask about classes. FML

by Anonymous / 07/06/2014 at 9:27pm / Work

Today, my girlfriend was feeling down because she has put on some weight. I tried to make her feel better by showing her I can still pick her up. I can, and I was even able to hide the fact that I shat myself doing it. I'm so romantic. FML

by oh shit / 07/06/2014 at 3:28pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I was on the internet playing a game. I have a speech impediment, and the guy running it told me to get off his server for making fun of disabled people. FML

by Wow / 07/05/2014 at 1:37am / United States (California) / Geek

Today, I found a wasp in my kitchen, so I opened the back door and left the room for 10 minutes in the hope that it would fly away. Upon returning, I found that there were now three wasps, a vicious cat and a very panicked pigeon crashing around the room. FML

by Snow-White / 07/03/2014 at 8:27pm / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Animals

Today, my grandma got a new boyfriend. She dumped the old one because "His wife was taking too long to die." FML

by carebear1228 / 07/01/2014 at 1:31pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was on vacation, when a very cute guy starting talking to me and asked me what my name was. Overwhelmed and stressed out, I blurted out that I didn't have one. FML

by Boulette / 06/23/2014 at 1:44am / Love

Today, I was feeling frisky and asked my boyfriend if he wanted a blowjob. He said "Fuck no", then rolled over to go to sleep. FML

by Anonymous / 06/20/2014 at 5:19pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, I found out I have genital herpes. I'm a virgin. FML

by Anonymous / 06/20/2014 at 2:20pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I was babysitting a 9-year-old kid, when she got thirsty and asked for a drink. All I could find was some kind of Mexican fruit drink, but I didn't realize until too late that it was actually hard liquor. I had to scrub her mouth out with toothpaste and put her to bed to cover it all up. FML

by cantprovenothing / 04/18/2014 at 5:31pm / United States (Texas) / Kids