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swimfreak77

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swimfreak77

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  • Number of visits : 272
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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swimfreak77's FML badges

50 favourites

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I agree, their lives suck

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swimfreak77's favorite FMLs

Today, it's the 16th day of my period. FML

#21241406
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47643) - you deserved it (3163)

On 08/20/2014 at 1:15am - health - by BagelTheOtaku (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I learned that when someone is choking you don't do the "hymen maneuver", you do the "heimlich maneuver". I was corrected by my girlfriend's parents. FML

#21240474
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27770) - you deserved it (12161)

On 08/18/2014 at 12:29pm - misc - by FANZZY - United States (New York)

Today, I listened to a little girl explain how her scabs taste great with lemon juice. FML

#21240451
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34525) - you deserved it (3138)

On 08/18/2014 at 11:13am - kids - by Stellarum (woman) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)

Today, it's my birthday. When I asked my mom if we were gonna do anything special for my birthday. She said, "don't lie to me. It's not your birthday." FML

#21238688
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40458) - you deserved it (2816)

On 08/16/2014 at 1:09am - misc - by bad birthdays - United States (California)

Today, I succeeded in getting a seat on a crowded bus. I regretted this when, after a couple of stops, a big guy boarded the bus and stood next to me with his penis pressed against my shoulder. Longest. Bus ride. Ever. FML

#21236507
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36195) - you deserved it (3381)

On 08/13/2014 at 7:33am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I hooked up with a girl at a club, and we had sex. She just lay there like a corpse the whole time. It got so bad, I ended up faking an orgasm and blaming the lack of semen on a botched vasectomy. She actually believed it. What the hell? FML

#21235982
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37084) - you deserved it (8801)

On 08/12/2014 at 4:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I dropped my kid into a crowded wishing fountain instead of a coin. FML

#21235686
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20895) - you deserved it (34307)

On 08/12/2014 at 6:21am - kids - by jake - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I called my boyfriend and invited him over to watch a movie. He was all for it, until I mentioned I was on my period, at which point he said "NOPE." and hung up on me. FML

#21234002
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38099) - you deserved it (6024)

On 08/10/2014 at 12:42pm - love - by painedandpissed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML

#21228111
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48092) - you deserved it (20916)

On 08/03/2014 at 1:16am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I won a big raffle. However, my name is so ridiculous-sounding that they thought someone was playing a prank, and pulled a different ticket. I was too embarrassed to say anything. FML

#21227005
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38826) - you deserved it (10723)

On 08/01/2014 at 7:10pm - misc - by infortunatename - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend's dad returned home from deployment. Being the grade A fucktard that I am, I got flustered and asked, "So um, did you make it back?" He looked me dead in the eyes and said completely deadpan, "No, obviously I died. Moron." FML

#21226906
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33659) - you deserved it (22369)

On 08/01/2014 at 4:45pm - misc - by whoops (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my son said his first word. Unfortunately, that word was "cock." I've tried convincing myself that he's trying to say "clock" but I just can't do it. FML

#21225778
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38491) - you deserved it (6686)

On 07/31/2014 at 12:24pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, a new session started for my swimming squad. I walked down to the pool, tripped over a stray equipment bag, and belly-flopped into the pool in front of everyone, fully clothed. I'm the coach. FML

#21225439
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38986) - you deserved it (4339)

On 07/31/2014 at 1:00am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out that my son has been trying to save enough of his earwax to make a candle. FML

#21208907
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39243) - you deserved it (4986)

On 07/14/2014 at 1:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I decided to try something new with my boyfriend, and sexted him. My text ended up sounding so stupid that I panicked and quickly sent another saying "SORRY WRONG PERSON". FML



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Wednesday 13 August 2014

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