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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my boyfriend gave me a poem saying "Roses are red, violets are blue, rubbish is dumped and so are you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39744) - you deserved it (2958)
On 09/14/2009 at 5:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)
Today, I was eating MandMs on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (51051) - you deserved it (11675)
On 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by awilson (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was driving in the left lane and was suddenly hit by a woman who was in the right lane. I ran off the road, taking out a fence and totaling my car. When the cops asked the woman what happened she responded, "My tom-tom told me to turn left." FML
I agree, your life sucks (42049) - you deserved it (1567)
On 09/10/2009 at 12:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Montana)
Today, I woke up to my 8 month old son happy as can be. I could hear him laughing over the monitor. When I walked into the room, he had somehow got his diaper off and was holding onto his new found penis. He thought it was hysterical when it went off and shot urine everywhere. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32586) - you deserved it (3464)
On 09/09/2009 at 3:33pm - kids - by WOCOACH (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I found out why my husband had wanted to wait until marriage to get it on. Last night was the first night of our honeymoon, and he informed me that he wasn't always Ben, but used to be Brenda. His 'penis' doesn't work and he had wanted to know I "truly loved him" before he had let me know. FML
I agree, your life sucks (136989) - you deserved it (10979)
On 09/09/2009 at 1:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I realized that the shorts I have been wearing all day say "Juicy" on the ass. My name is John. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9703) - you deserved it (36974)
On 09/08/2009 at 9:33pm - misc - by JuicyJohn (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend in my dorm room. My roommate came in, despite the signal I had up on the door. She didn't leave. She got on her computer and started playing Solitaire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15378) - you deserved it (3502)
On 09/04/2009 at 10:43pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, my friend, her parents and I, drove 5 hours all the way to disneyworld, only to realize we had bought disneyland tickets. Disneyland is in California, 3000 miles away. We couldn't switch them out and we didn't have money to buy new ones. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17465) - you deserved it (37498)
On 09/02/2009 at 5:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (54608) - you deserved it (12512)
On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, I was flirting with this guy that had been forced to be my lab partner for class. He was really funny and attractive, too. In the middle of our conversation he said "You're so cute! You remind me of my boyfriend!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (35418) - you deserved it (6117)
On 08/24/2009 at 5:27pm - love - by NotCuteEnough (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I slept in late and when I woke up, thought I was the only one in the house so I decided to walk around the corner to the only upstairs bathroom naked. My dad also slept in, also thought he was the only one in the house, and also decided to walk to the bathroom naked. We collided. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52812) - you deserved it (9988)
On 08/17/2009 at 9:50am - misc - by malebonding (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about losing my virginity last night. When I went downstairs, my 6 year old sister was digging through my purse. She explained that she had overheard my conversation and wanted to help me find my virginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30730) - you deserved it (71478)
On 08/13/2009 at 4:57pm - kids - by bubbalicious (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was riding the subway to work. Barely anyone was on because of how early it was. Me and this one guy in a trench coat were in the same cart. His stop came. He walked by me, flashed me, rubbed his penis on my arm, and then ran away really fast. FML
I agree, your life sucks (101227) - you deserved it (6282)
On 06/27/2009 at 4:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Japan
Today, my attractive boss sat me down in the break room to say how much she appreciated how much work I've been doing despite being a temp. She was wearing a skirt, and I couldn't take my eyes off her legs. She then patted me on the leg and said "Good Talk". It wasn't my leg. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33387) - you deserved it (14659)
On 06/27/2009 at 3:03am - work - by EmployeeOfTheMonth (man) - United States (California)
Today, I finally got into a yoga class with the instructor I've been crushing on for 2 years. As he walked closer to greet me, I lifted my leg over my head into a full split, and queefed obnoxiously loud. He responded with his gag reflex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39410) - you deserved it (23770)
On 06/26/2009 at 12:51pm - misc - by LondonKitsch (woman) - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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