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Today, my boyfriend of two and a half years left me. To clear my head I decided to go for a drive. My car broke down on the way. The only mechanic I have ever used and trusted with my car is my boyfriend. Yes, I had to call him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39902) - you deserved it (6244)
On 05/01/2013 at 4:21am - love - by brigie - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, through sheer luck, I got talking to an actor from the Harry Potter films who I've had a crush on since I was about ten. I tried to play it cool, and pretend I didn't know who he was. Then my phone rang, with the Harry Potter theme tune. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19703) - you deserved it (36720)
On 04/30/2013 at 6:23pm - misc - by itsellie27 (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, it's my wedding day. I have a cold sore that makes me look like The Joker. Make-up won't cover it and the emergency medicine my doctor gave me only irritates it more. My future husband asks, "Why so serious?" and laughs whenever he sees me. Fantastic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36843) - you deserved it (2904)
On 04/30/2013 at 5:26pm - misc - by sharibaby (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I got home from work and found my girlfriend waiting for me in some skimpy lingerie. She ended up pushing me onto the bed, and as I lay there, expecting to be pleasured, she pulled out a pair of adult-sized footsie pajamas and dressed me in them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45684) - you deserved it (5531)
On 04/30/2013 at 2:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my guidance counselor told me that I'll have to join my school's special education needs sector. This is because I can't attend school properly due to chronic issues with severe pain. So much for my 3.9 GPA and being in the top 5% of my class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40963) - you deserved it (2362)
On 04/30/2013 at 1:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my boyfriend was watching TV, when we started getting frisky. I'd just started to give him a blowjob when he pushed me off and said, "Fun's over." Dragon Ball Z had just come back on. He's 21. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42989) - you deserved it (10244)
On 04/30/2013 at 1:35pm - intimacy - by SecondBest,IGuess (woman) - United States
Today, I took my wife's cat to the vet for her yearly check up. I'm finishing the day at the hospital with multiple bite wounds and a deep gash in my leg. My wife chose to comfort her cat instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33794) - you deserved it (3334)
On 04/30/2013 at 12:03pm - animals - by good husband - Canada
Today, I called a taxi after a night of partying. When it arrived, I realised I had no cash, so I told the driver I'd quickly grab some from an ATM. He made me leave my phone with him as collateral in case I was pulling a prank. He drove off the moment I turned my back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34411) - you deserved it (11665)
On 04/30/2013 at 12:00pm - misc - by Brady (man) - Spain (Madrid)
Today, for a laugh, I put vanilla yogurt into a mayonnaise jar and went to the mall to eat it with a spoon. Too bad that someone called mall security on me for disturbing the peace. They shoved me into a back room and grilled me about what was in the jar. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36253) - you deserved it (15895)
On 04/30/2013 at 11:09am - misc - by longsock123 - United States (California)
Today, while I was in the shower, I heard a door slam. Assuming it was my fiancé, I shouted "I love you!" I later opened the bathroom door to see my stereo and television missing. I'd said "I love you" to whoever robbed my apartment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46705) - you deserved it (4063)
On 04/30/2013 at 3:54am - money - by ShowerGirl (woman) - United States
Today, I met one of my favorite web-comic artists. As I purchased a shirt from their booth he asked, "What size?" I stupidly asked "How big is a small?" He chuckled, "It's small" and chuckled some more. So much for keeping it cool. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28472) - you deserved it (6158)
On 04/29/2013 at 11:32pm - misc - by stupidquestionsstupidpeople - United States (Illinois)
Today, my parents finally got married. At the after-party, my mother got drunk and informed me that even though she and my father were now married, it doesn't change the fact that I'm still a bastard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36745) - you deserved it (2445)
On 04/29/2013 at 9:57pm - kids - by SierraCheyenne (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, my fiancée broke off our engagement. For some bizarre reason, she'd hidden a pair of expensive boots and her iPad underneath our ride-on mower. I turned the mower on and destroyed both without realizing it. According to her, the fault is all mine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45063) - you deserved it (2846)
On 04/29/2013 at 2:07pm - love - by Wow. Really? - United States (Ohio)
Today, I went to have a breast exam. The doc told me that she would touch different parts of my breasts, and said to tell her if at any point it felt painful. As she was examining me, I was going to say that it wasn't painful, but instead I blurted out, "It feels good." FML
I agree, your life sucks (43156) - you deserved it (10417)
On 04/29/2013 at 12:51pm - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)
Today, I was getting into the mood with my boyfriend. Ten minutes into it, I told him to "teach me a lesson." His response: "I ain't no teacher." FML
I agree, your life sucks (35523) - you deserved it (8748)
On 04/29/2013 at 3:08am - intimacy - by unforgettablee (woman) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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