superrtani

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superrtani

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 6 November 1993 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1232
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About superrtani : :)

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superrtani's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that when I text my boyfriend, he isn't the one to read them. Instead, he pays his friend to "keep the bitch busy." FML

by Anonymous / 07/31/2013 at 12:49pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my husband bought me a big box of tampons. He claims to know when my period is about to start before I do. Sadly, he's right. FML

by RayneWolf13 / 07/31/2013 at 2:31am / United States (Arkansas) / Love

Today, I finally gave away all of the stuffed animals that I've been hoarding for years. Proud, I told my family. They congratulated me by buying me stuffed animals. FML

by TheSacredTeddyBear / 07/30/2013 at 11:06pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took a run in the woods. Almost halfway through, I started to feel like I was going to faint. I was so dizzy that my sight was getting blurry. I went to sit down on what seemed like a rock. It wasn't a rock. It was a huge snapping turtle. FML

by Anonymous / 07/30/2013 at 7:19pm / United States (Illinois) / Animals

Today, I was in the shower, oblivious to the outside world, when four police officers who had apparently been banging at my door, entered by force. They were doing a bust on a weed farm and got the wrong house. FML

by Anonymous / 07/30/2013 at 1:32pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, I bought a device that plays a high-pitched sound to teach my dog to quit barking. She's smart enough to learn that as long as she barks loud enough and long enough, she can't hear it. Quite the opposite effect to what I was anticipating. FML

by Bug8Frog / 07/30/2013 at 2:42am / United States (Alaska) / Animals

Today, I was reading in my apartment. Due to a heatwave and my lack of AC, I was completely naked. My cat jumped onto my lap, and as her claws dug into my stomach, I recoiled. This caused her to retreat, clawing at my nether regions in the process. My pussy mauled my pussy. FML

by Anonymous / 07/29/2013 at 5:18pm / United States / Animals

Today, I tried to help a bird who had broken his wing. I walked straight into a door while looking down at him in my hands, and ended up all but breaking his other wing. FML

by TehUglyLife / 07/29/2013 at 3:11pm / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, I watched my boyfriend flirt with a cashier and write down his number for her, through the liquor store window, while I sat in the car waiting for him to finish buying things for our "romantic movie night." FML

by Opheliae / 07/29/2013 at 12:47pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my family and I went to feed carrots to the giraffes at the zoo. After I finished my first cup of carrots, I turned back to get some more. Suddenly, I was jerked back and a chunk of my hair was ripped out. The giraffe mistook the orange barrette in my hair for a carrot. FML

by Anonymous / 07/29/2013 at 4:19am / United States (Illinois) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. When I didn't get off right away, he asked what he was doing wrong. I told him he was doing fine, but instead of focusing only on my vagina, he might want to pay attention to my clitoris as well. His response? "What's a clitoris?" FML

by Anonymous / 07/29/2013 at 3:54am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I went out and met somebody. We got talking and we both realized we are each the ideal romantic partner for the other. The only problem is we are both straight men. FML

by confusedmofo / 07/29/2013 at 2:35am / Indonesia / Love

Today, I had a customer scream at me for ruining their child's birthday party. They had bought a Piñata from me and didn't know they had to fill it themselves. The kids had hit it open and it was empty. FML

by Fitz / 07/29/2013 at 2:30am / United States / Work

Today, while using a restroom in Walmart, an old lady with a cane hobbled in screaming, "I smell someone making sin!" She would not stop tapping on the door with her cane till I came out. FML

by DreamStatic / 07/28/2013 at 10:16pm / United States (Georgia) / Health

Today, I did a photoshoot with my boyfriend and his buddy. We drove out to the countryside and set up on top of a hill. My boyfriend kept having me move further and further back. I eventually fell and rolled down the steep hill, while he and his buddy high-fived each other. FML

by -_- / 07/28/2013 at 6:58pm / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Miscellaneous