About superrtani : :)
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Today, my 6-year-old daughter walked into the bathroom where I was grumbling about my weight. Seeing how upset I was, she took my hand and said, "Mom, you're not fat. You just look fat." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41341) - you deserved it (5326)
On 05/05/2013 at 8:56pm - kids - by me - United States (Texas)
Today, I tried channeling Mr. Miyagi by catching a fly with my bare hands. It turned out to be a wasp. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17531) - you deserved it (41022)
On 05/05/2013 at 7:30pm - misc - by FML136969 - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my girlfriend and I were at the river. She threw mud on me, so I playfully threw some on her, and we got into a mud fight. Apparently, she took the "fight" seriously, because I'm now single. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45777) - you deserved it (4621)
On 05/05/2013 at 3:35pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I tried to show my boyfriend's mom a picture of my prom dress on my phone. She scrolled to the right to find a picture of her son, naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32296) - you deserved it (60317)
On 05/05/2013 at 1:44am - intimacy - by beyondembarrassed - United States
Today, I finished a dance competition. With competitions, it requires you to wear a lot of makeup like false eyelashes and red lipstick. I went into a Starbucks to get a coffee and a boy around 18 asked me, in all seriousness, what my rate is for one night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49230) - you deserved it (9296)
On 05/05/2013 at 1:01am - misc - by dancer, not a hooker... - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, as a condominium security guard, I had to enter an old lady's apartment to supervise the mandatory maintenance taking place inside. I commented on the lakeside view from her window and mentioned, "This is a pretty nice view up here isn't it?" It turns out that she's blind. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44384) - you deserved it (5806)
On 05/05/2013 at 12:28am - work - by rent-a-cop (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I learned that my mother counts my jeans as two pairs when she counts how many she's putting in for a load of wash. I've gotten that fat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20381) - you deserved it (31192)
On 05/04/2013 at 8:41pm - misc - by Fatty Fatty Fatso (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML
I agree, your life sucks (57350) - you deserved it (8136)
On 05/04/2013 at 8:51am - kids - by wtfmama (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I finally started exercising. I'm a rather obese person and I'm super pumped up to finally get off my lazy butt and lose some weight. Locking myself in my room, I first started with a very simple exercise: jumping jacks. I farted each time I jumped. I jumped 10 times. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39227) - you deserved it (9440)
On 05/04/2013 at 4:11am - health - by thatonesilentkidinclass (man) - Philippines (Batangas)
Today, I caught my 14-year-old daughter stealing alcohol from me. After berating her for half-an-hour I finally said, "At least you're not doing drugs." She gave me a guilty smile and sheepishly said, "At least I'm not a prostitute?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (53939) - you deserved it (10990)
On 05/04/2013 at 3:22am - kids - by prostitott -
Today, I was checking out a customer who seemed quite friendly. As I finished, he reached slightly over the counter and I impulsively reached out and shook his hand. He gave me a dumbfounded look and said, "Can I have my change please?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (21252) - you deserved it (27843)
On 05/04/2013 at 1:17am - work - by charishard - United States (Texas)
Today, I was forced to work with someone I absolutely hate. I then found myself starting to like him, until he shot me in the forehead with a stapler gun. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42045) - you deserved it (3565)
On 05/03/2013 at 9:30pm - work - by annoyedgirl - United States (Washington)
Today, walking by myself, I was caught up in a group of people that got arrested, and we all got fined for creating a public disturbance. When I explained I wasn't with them, the group backed me up. The police thought I was the ringleader, and now I have to go to court. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52586) - you deserved it (2708)
On 05/03/2013 at 9:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands
Today, I was at dance rehearsal. As a male dancer I like to keep the fact that I dance a secret because of the stupid stereotypes male dancers have. This plan was quickly shot down when I discovered I was performing at my school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34488) - you deserved it (4594)
On 05/03/2013 at 8:39pm - misc - by DeActivated (man) - United States (Utah)
Today, I overheard my boyfriend admitting that he's only dating me because having me around "sucks a bit less than fucking my own hand". FML
I agree, your life sucks (44230) - you deserved it (4030)
On 05/03/2013 at 5:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany
Monday 20 May 2013
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