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Today, my family flew out to surprise my grandma for her 70th birthday. When we arrived, she and my grandpa were both sitting on the couch, high, smoking a joint. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43665) - you deserved it (9398)
On 05/08/2013 at 2:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my water broke while my boyfriend was breaking up with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (63075) - you deserved it (5278)
On 05/08/2013 at 1:41am - health - by Carrie - United States (California)
Today, it's my birthday. I worked late, so I was looking forward to spending a quiet evening with my husband. When he suggested we go grocery shopping, I got excited thinking he had organized a surprise party or something. He actually just took me grocery shopping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42420) - you deserved it (7712)
On 05/07/2013 at 8:48am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was in a bathroom stall and I accidentally dropped my new tampon on the ground. Just as I was about to reach for it, I heard a voice on the other side of the stall say, "Oh great, I needed that" and then a hand reached under my stall and grabbed it. It was my last one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52021) - you deserved it (3849)
On 05/07/2013 at 1:10am - misc - by the girl next door (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, after my mom picked me up from the mall, she asked me what was in my bag from Gap. I wouldn't tell her, and she ended up grounding me. It was her Mother's Day present. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52394) - you deserved it (3739)
On 05/06/2013 at 2:08pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend found a letter I'd written to myself for moral support while we were broken up, in which I explained why we would never work out. Apparently I made a convincing argument. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31087) - you deserved it (30607)
On 05/06/2013 at 10:24am - love - by Alone (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I went to go see my granddad in the hospital and asked if he needed anything. He replied, "I need you to get out and send that hot nurse in, I may be old but I still got it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40770) - you deserved it (5326)
On 05/06/2013 at 4:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54808) - you deserved it (4734)
On 05/06/2013 at 2:29am - kids - by SkeetinKeaton (man) - United States
Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend. Being the mature one, I went up to her and said, "Hey, how's it going?" She maced me and kept walking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40996) - you deserved it (9142)
Today, my 6-year-old daughter walked into the bathroom where I was grumbling about my weight. Seeing how upset I was, she took my hand and said, "Mom, you're not fat. You just look fat." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41151) - you deserved it (5312)
On 05/05/2013 at 8:56pm - kids - by me - United States (Texas)
Today, I tried channeling Mr. Miyagi by catching a fly with my bare hands. It turned out to be a wasp. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17481) - you deserved it (40865)
On 05/05/2013 at 7:30pm - misc - by FML136969 - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my girlfriend and I were at the river. She threw mud on me, so I playfully threw some on her, and we got into a mud fight. Apparently, she took the "fight" seriously, because I'm now single. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45532) - you deserved it (4613)
On 05/05/2013 at 3:35pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I tried to show my boyfriend's mom a picture of my prom dress on my phone. She scrolled to the right to find a picture of her son, naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32014) - you deserved it (59807)
On 05/05/2013 at 1:44am - intimacy - by beyondembarrassed - United States
Today, I finished a dance competition. With competitions, it requires you to wear a lot of makeup like false eyelashes and red lipstick. I went into a Starbucks to get a coffee and a boy around 18 asked me, in all seriousness, what my rate is for one night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49010) - you deserved it (9279)
On 05/05/2013 at 1:01am - misc - by dancer, not a hooker... - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, as a condominium security guard, I had to enter an old lady's apartment to supervise the mandatory maintenance taking place inside. I commented on the lakeside view from her window and mentioned, "This is a pretty nice view up here isn't it?" It turns out that she's blind. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44269) - you deserved it (5803)
On 05/05/2013 at 12:28am - work - by rent-a-cop (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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