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superfail313

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superfail313

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  • Number of visits : 381
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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superfail313's page activity

Visits<b>royalsgrl</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 2:57am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 11/09/2013 at 8:37pm<b>Kyled2</b> - the 09/23/2013 at 10:04pm<b>coolcocoxxx</b> - the 08/30/2013 at 4:36pm<b>Faith13</b> - the 07/06/2013 at 10:10pm<b>Adm_Twigs</b> - the 03/26/2013 at 12:10am<b>feldco1</b> - the 03/23/2013 at 2:22am<b>Dracoboxer357</b> - the 03/21/2013 at 6:21am<b>Brainnnnz</b> - the 03/09/2013 at 5:57am<b>wlddog</b> - the 03/07/2013 at 1:26am<b>muckk</b> - the 02/23/2013 at 1:03pm

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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superfail313's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend of 3 weeks gave me an ultimatum: marry her, or she kills herself. FML

#20814794
339 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67377) - you deserved it (5813)

On 08/01/2013 at 3:36am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my dog died. We planned to get her cremated and keep the ashes. My sister put forward the idea of putting the ashes in our food so our dog can be "inside of us, always." She's completely serious. I'm scared to eat food from her now. FML

#20438971
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32895) - you deserved it (2087)

On 01/02/2013 at 4:53pm - animals - by Anon. -

Today, due to a health insurance mix up, my schizophrenic girlfriend has been off her meds for a little over a week. She's convinced I can read her mind, and if I don't stop "pretending" she'll slit my throat in my sleep. Her medication won't be available for at least another two weeks. FML

#20159457
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23708) - you deserved it (2239)

On 11/11/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were preparing for the arrival of Hurricane Sandy. I tasked him with going out to buy emergency groceries in case we lose power. He returned with dozens of microwave cup noodles. We're going to starve. FML

#20137235
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23700) - you deserved it (3396)

On 10/28/2012 at 4:14pm - love - by cupnoodles (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to sneak out of work to get my daughter from her school. Apparently, she had thought that hurling a bowling ball down the stairs during the lunch hour rush would make her cool. In actual fact, it made her expelled. FML

#19704812
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22355) - you deserved it (2462)

On 05/30/2012 at 2:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Vale of Glamorgan, The)

Today, I had to chase my naked brothers around my house for twenty minutes, trying to get them to take a bath, all while they were chasing my best friend around yelling, "IT'S WIENER TIME!" FML

#19076647
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23895) - you deserved it (2464)

On 02/14/2012 at 5:29pm - kids - by ShylaMarie - Canada

Today, I had a dream in which I was arguing with my mom. In the dream, she threatened to hit me, and I told her I'd do it myself. I reared back and knocked the crap out of myself. I'm awake now, and my jaw still hurts. FML

#18519378
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22482) - you deserved it (5294)

On 12/15/2011 at 12:30pm - misc - by Grubendol - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my landlord came and beat on my door demanding the rent check. I just got home from a trip and my wife was supposed to pay it while I was away. What happened to the money? Black Friday. FML

#18515072
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26960) - you deserved it (3349)

On 12/14/2011 at 9:46pm - money - by kittyslayer (man) - United States

Today, I was bitched out by my 17 year old son's teacher. It seems the idiot teacher made the kids advocate for his own political beliefs in a presentation, and my son ended his speech saying, "And it remains my opinion that our instructor is cramping my motherfucking style." Instant suspension. FML

#18095977
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26504) - you deserved it (4907)

On 10/28/2011 at 11:52am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my parents took away my laptop, TV, Xbox, and car all because I broke up with my girlfriend. They said when I patch things up with her, I can have my stuff back. FML

#17842672
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34373) - you deserved it (4810)

On 09/26/2011 at 9:10pm - love - by faded as shit - United States

Today, I was giving a talk in class, when halfway through someone pointed out that my pubes were sticking out my trousers. FML

#17690152
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26597) - you deserved it (13677)

On 09/07/2011 at 6:14pm - work - by Sammylad - United Kingdom (London)

Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML

#17468167
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34771) - you deserved it (9626)

On 08/14/2011 at 7:20am - misc - by Goaway (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was using a public urinal when a man came up to use the one next to me. As he approached, he said, "Friendly spy plane inbound" and pretended to look at my knob. FML

#17448380
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25928) - you deserved it (2538)

On 08/12/2011 at 6:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out all about my son's secret online double life. He's been moonlighting for two years as a male prostitute by the name of Peter Parker. FML

#16611980
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39675) - you deserved it (5001)

On 06/11/2011 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by Mom (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, while I was in the shower, my curious cat jumped in. She decided she really doesn't like showers and to avoid getting wet, used my naked body as a makeshift tree. FML

#16467206
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31381) - you deserved it (4108)

On 06/02/2011 at 12:06pm - animals - by brittaneejanex - United States



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