About suchaprettygirl : I'm boring. Sorry to waste your time.
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suchaprettygirl's favorite FMLs
Today, I was walking to the kitchen in the dark. Something caught my eye and I turned to see a man standing in the corner, clear as day. I jumped and closed my eyes for a split second. When I opened them, he was nowhere to be seen. I'm now terrified to live in my own home. FML
by haunted / 11/24/2011 at 3:30pm / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous
by bizzyizzy0121 / 11/21/2011 at 1:28am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I and a policeman confronted my psychotic neighbor who stole my cat because she thinks flea bites cause cancer. She refused to tell us what she'd done with the cat. I just spent $100 last month in vet bills, and my kids are crying for their pet. He's probably in pieces in her freezer. FML
by Stalked / 11/14/2011 at 7:46pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals
Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML
by TraumatizedMother / 10/02/2011 at 3:27am / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, my friends and I were having a conversation about which mythical creature would be the most unlikely to exist in the real world. They all collectively agreed that it would be a girl who is attracted to me. FML
by Unluckiest Guy of the group / 09/28/2011 at 3:26pm / United States (Georgia) / Love
by anonymous / 09/13/2011 at 8:07pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy
Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML
by unicorn / 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to say "Put away your burrito," "that ruler is not a light saber," and "stop making dog noises" all in the same sentence at work. I teach Advanced Placement Calculus to high school seniors. FML
by Anonymous / 08/20/2011 at 3:42am / United States (Texas) / Work
by bTOhno / 08/13/2011 at 2:37am / United States (Oklahoma) / Love
Today, my house was raided for drugs. I had to find out my father is a drug dealer. The cops then told me this wasn't their first time here, but it was the first time I was home to see it. They said it was nice to finally meet me. FML
by thehumanshield / 08/05/2011 at 4:41am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/18/2011 at 12:26am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by CatOwner / 07/11/2011 at 10:15pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals
by Yoda / 07/08/2011 at 1:23am / United States (New York) / Geek
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…