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About stupidlamb101 : Today, I spent most of the day checking for updates on FML. FML.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I had to perform a lab in front of my bio class. I was mixing chemicals, when someone made a comment saying "What if it blows up?." Hearing it, I gave a 2 minute explanation about how it was impossible for it to explode. Two seconds later, the entire beaker exploded in my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9995) - you deserved it (38887)
On 04/16/2009 at 8:19pm - misc - by biologyfailure. (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I handed the keys to my Mustang to my mom so she could go car shopping. As she pulled away, I remembered the condom wrappers, sex toy packaging, and empty bottle of rum that was in the passenger's seat of my car. I'm twenty. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9667) - you deserved it (58461)
On 04/13/2009 at 6:46am - intimacy - by jackass (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I went out with this girl I really liked and she came back to my place. Things were heating up and we ended up having sex and I was on top. I was really into it and in the middle of it she held up her wrist and said "oh, look at the time, I gotta get home". She wasn't wearing a watch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (72959) - you deserved it (11901)
On 03/26/2009 at 4:37am - intimacy - by crap (man) - Thailand (Krung Thep)
Today, my boyfriend came over for dinner, but couldn't eat because he had just gotten his tongue pierced. My grandpa heard this, winked at my boyfriend and said "Can't eat now, but I bet that's all you'll be doing in a few weeks..." My super protective father was sitting right next to him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66790) - you deserved it (6653)
On 03/24/2009 at 6:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I had to sleep in the same room as my grandparents. They checked to see if I was asleep, so I pretended to be to avoid getting scolded for staying up. Turns out they were checking so that they could make love. I witnessed two 70-year-olds have sex in the bed next to me for 20 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (148905) - you deserved it (15219)
On 03/21/2009 at 11:38am - intimacy - by Mike (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my mom told my boyfriend all about how she had to be a parent volunteer when I was in kindergarten. Apparently I used to masturbate in class by rubbing myself against the edges of chairs and tables. The teacher thought it would be best if my mom was there to make me stop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (106228) - you deserved it (10353)
On 03/12/2009 at 7:24am - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)
Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor... and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43645) - you deserved it (78436)
On 03/11/2009 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by SpiderMan (man) - United States (Michigan)
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