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strayaway's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 03/27/2013 at 2:26pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
Today, I told my mom that I heard something, and I think we have rats in the attic and should hire an exterminator. She looked at me and said, "Rats, huh? That's what the mom in The Exorcist thought, but it turned out to be the devil living up there." FML
by jkbeynon / 03/02/2013 at 11:18pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I surprisingly found two empty seats on the subway. Before anyone could get to them, I rushed and triumphantly sat down, enjoying my victory, until I noticed why they were empty. I had just sat down next to a guy vigorously trying to fellate himself. FML
by Nightmares / 08/07/2012 at 9:19am / United States / Intimacy
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- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I asked a customer to send me via e-mail the image he wanted me to print. He said, "I don't…
- Today, my girlfriend decided to pleasure me with a handjob. It was incredibly painful because she… Today, I woke up with a strange and itchy feeling in my anus. When I told my boyfriend about it, he… Today, I walked in on my dad completely naked. When I expressed my displeasure, he told me to knock…