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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I woke up on my mom's couch with a wicked hangover. I made a mad dash for the toilet but felt the wave coming after two steps. I grabbed a bag of trash next to the front door and showed it no mercy. After I'd recovered and cleaned up, Mom asked if I'd seen the bag with her tax materials. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16193) - you deserved it (47020)
On 04/15/2009 at 3:47pm - health - by caramelkarma (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was visiting my grandmother's house. She keeps the thermostat on 85 and after about 30 minutes I explained to her "I'm going to have to leave, it's just too hot in here". She replied: "You think it's hot in here, wait until you get to hell." I laughed. She didn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53234) - you deserved it (4478)
On 04/15/2009 at 3:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I went for a jog. I had stopped at an intersection to let a car go by. The car stopped and the driver waved me on, so I started jogging again. After a few steps, I feel a sharp pain in my side, then wake up in the hospital. The driver 'accidentally' hit the gas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (98085) - you deserved it (3914)
On 04/15/2009 at 10:10am - misc - by I_Hate_Cars - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I was walking through the park eating fries. There was an old woman feeding a few pigeons. They didn't seem too interested, so I threw some fries down as I walked by to try and help her out. About 2 minutes later, I heard screaming. A huge group of pigeons were attacking the old woman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45084) - you deserved it (14040)
On 04/14/2009 at 10:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was talking to a guy I met online and have known for 4 years. I've fallen in love with him twice, one of those times being currently. He was supposed to visit this summer. I got an email from him saying he's really a 17 year old girl from Chesterfield, MO. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25290) - you deserved it (70530)
On 04/14/2009 at 9:45am - love - by oxbbabexo (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was working as a swim instructor for kids. Teaching them not to be afraid of the water, I put my face in the water and blew bubbles. I asked them to try it. All of them did, except for one. I went right to him and blew bubbles again. He then said to me, "but I just peed in that water." FML
I agree, your life sucks (75750) - you deserved it (6599)
On 04/14/2009 at 4:51am - kids - by poolboy (man) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I asked my boyfriend why he dates me. He immediately responded, "Well, TV shows are boring and predictable, so you're a good source of fresh and interesting drama." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38006) - you deserved it (23238)
On 04/14/2009 at 12:44am - love - by dramaqueen (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, as I got down on one knee, and was in the middle of saying "Will you marry me?", she answered a text message. Apparently it was more important. FML
I agree, your life sucks (119792) - you deserved it (6190)
On 04/12/2009 at 5:41pm - love - by suckstobeme (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend of 5 years getting intimate with my best friend. When they saw me they immediately stopped and said nothing. After about 5 seconds of silence my boyfriend yells "April fools!" April Fools was 12 days ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (104605) - you deserved it (4748)
On 04/12/2009 at 6:47am - misc - by Aprilfools (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, at a family Seder, (a Jewish service for Passover), my mom served matzah balls during the festive meal. Considering how much I love matzah balls and there aren't many options for me to eat because I'm a vegetarian, I shouted, "I like really big balls!" in front of my entire family. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15033) - you deserved it (71681)
On 04/12/2009 at 12:27am - intimacy - by anon13 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was babysitting my neighbor's kid. We were playing in the yard, when he fell and got a small scratch on his leg. I gasp, and he takes a huge breath in and yells, "FUUUCK!!!" as loud as possible. The parents thought it was me, and the mother slapped me in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58029) - you deserved it (2154)
On 04/10/2009 at 11:35am - kids - by mandy (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was riding on a stationary exercise bike at home, when I went to get off, my shorts got stuck under the seat. I dangled half upside down until my shorts ripped and I fell on the ground face first breaking my front tooth. I broke my tooth riding a bike that doesn’t even move. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49420) - you deserved it (7071)
On 04/10/2009 at 4:17am - misc - by missy (woman) - Italy (Toscana)
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. The TV was on with the volume low, as we had been too preoccupied to turn it off. All of the sudden, my boyfriend stopped mid-thrust. He was watching the TV. House was on. My boyfriend stopped to watch the differential diagnosis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56697) - you deserved it (11130)
On 04/09/2009 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, while teaching swimming to a bunch of five year olds, one particularly bratty girl decided she didn't want to swim and lead the entire class to strike, leaving the pool empty and me without a job. Apparently I was teaching the next world tyrant to swim. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42112) - you deserved it (3290)
On 04/09/2009 at 10:38am - misc - by luh8r (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31124) - you deserved it (100322)
On 04/09/2009 at 2:03am - work - by tool (man) - United States (Nevada)
Monday 20 May 2013
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