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storyteller07

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storyteller07
  • Town/Country : Poulsbo, WA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 4 November 1989 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 3928
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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storyteller07's favorite FMLs

Today, my blind friend bragged to a group of people that she knew all of us by smell. We all took turns standing in front of her, and she would tell us who we were. When I got in front of her, she thought I was my dog. FML

#1086654
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44982) - you deserved it (8938)

On 04/18/2009 at 2:09pm - animals - by Spec (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I drove past a firehouse that had volunteer firemen taking collections. I take out a $20 and start to roll the window down when I remember my window was broken. I ended up driving by, holding the $20 against the window, staring at the fireman. Now the fireman thinks I was taunting him. FML

#1076233
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43552) - you deserved it (14513)

On 04/18/2009 at 1:09am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I finally got some sleep after an exterminator came yesterday and took care of our roach problem. I woke up and kissed my boyfriend good morning. Frowning, he told me I had something stuck on the corner of my mouth. It was a roach leg. Where is the rest of the roach? FML

#1056557
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86232) - you deserved it (3809)

On 04/17/2009 at 2:43pm - misc - by wellesleybanana (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was in the supermarket and I see this little boy trying to reach for something on the top shelf. I go over to him and ask if his mom knows where he is. The boy turns around. He was actually a very angry midget. FML

#1054716
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25039) - you deserved it (41743)

On 04/17/2009 at 1:05pm - kids - by jules (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I had to re-take an hour long MRI scan because I got an erection midway through. FML

#1051780
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62370) - you deserved it (14481)

On 04/17/2009 at 10:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was having a dream that I was climbing out of a well. While almost out, I felt someone grab my knee; I screamed loud in terror. When I opened my eyes, nearly 25 people were staring at me. The lady across from me apologized for hitting me with her bag. I was on the C-train. FML

#1050390
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38946) - you deserved it (6323)

On 04/17/2009 at 7:47am - misc - by bluemonday - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was bored and decided it would be fun to pretend to be an undercover cop and pull over other cars. The first car I pulled over was a real undercover cop. FML

#1033363
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27379) - you deserved it (258271)

On 04/16/2009 at 8:19pm - misc - by tvaladie (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was walking back to my home in the city in the dark. I'm paranoid, so when I saw movement behind me I clutched my mace. The faster I walked, the closer the person seemed to be. I spun around and sprayed my attacker with mace. It was my shadow and the wind blew the mace back into eyes. FML

#1026397
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24672) - you deserved it (75968)

On 04/16/2009 at 5:27pm - misc - by Eyesore - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was eating some left over Easter peanut MandMs at work, when I exclaimed "oh cool, they have E's on them for Easter". It took me a couple of minutes, but I eventually realized that I was looking at a regular MandM sideways. Definitely explains my coworkers' uncontrollable laughter. FML

#1023184
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11441) - you deserved it (67380)

On 04/16/2009 at 3:44pm - misc - by StewPit (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I discovered that I had left my sunroof open all night during a storm and my front seats was soaked. I grabbed a towel for my seat but didn't close my sunroof because it was nice out. As I pull out of my driveway, I felt something wet hit my forehead. A bird shit on me through my sunroof. FML

#1016784
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53593) - you deserved it (14187)

On 04/16/2009 at 10:38am - animals - by oops1234 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was horsing around after my big test. Someone punched me softly on my back. Figuring it was my friend, I turned around and did a roundhouse kick. It was my girlfriend. FML

#1012847
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12193) - you deserved it (72341)

On 04/16/2009 at 2:47am - misc - by filipinoclari808 (man) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I woke up on my mom's couch with a wicked hangover. I made a mad dash for the toilet but felt the wave coming after two steps. I grabbed a bag of trash next to the front door and showed it no mercy. After I'd recovered and cleaned up, Mom asked if I'd seen the bag with her tax materials. FML

#993995
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16432) - you deserved it (47523)

On 04/15/2009 at 3:47pm - health - by caramelkarma (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was visiting my grandmother's house. She keeps the thermostat on 85 and after about 30 minutes I explained to her "I'm going to have to leave, it's just too hot in here". She replied: "You think it's hot in here, wait until you get to hell." I laughed. She didn't. FML

#993932
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58986) - you deserved it (5572)

On 04/15/2009 at 3:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I went for a jog. I had stopped at an intersection to let a car go by. The car stopped and the driver waved me on, so I started jogging again. After a few steps, I feel a sharp pain in my side, then wake up in the hospital. The driver 'accidentally' hit the gas. FML



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