storyteller07

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storyteller07

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 4 November 1989 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5520
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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storyteller07's page activity

Visits<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 12:12am<b>username666</b> - the 04/23/2009 at 11:22am<b>limabean3</b> - the 04/01/2009 at 12:52am<b>BaiRen</b> - the 03/31/2009 at 9:21pm<b>bananamanama</b> - the 03/31/2009 at 1:04am<b>Kira</b> - the 03/30/2009 at 11:12pm<b>LovelyCutiePie</b> - the 03/30/2009 at 10:33pm<b>unibrowicorn</b> - the 03/30/2009 at 9:23pm

storyteller07's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

storyteller07's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my aunt to pluck my eyebrows since hers are perfectly done. What I didn't know is she gets hers professionally shaped and she doesn't know how to shape eyebrows. I now look like a surprised Vulcan. FML

by Anonymous / 08/17/2009 at 6:11pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss called me into his office. He then fired me. Upset, I asked him "Well, who's gonna replace me?" His answer was "I don't know and don't care. Everyone who works here hates you. Now go away." FML

by vmml97 / 08/17/2009 at 5:16pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I went to retrieve my sneakers that my wife made me leave outside the door of our hotel room. Somebody had shat in one of them. FML

by JayBausch / 08/17/2009 at 4:48pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the lake watching a romantic sunset with my boyfriend. He tenderly started touching my thigh, then started shaking my leg to the rhythm while singing the J-E-L-L-O theme song. FML

by juliaspaperbags / 08/16/2009 at 10:32am / United States (Maine) / Intimacy

Today, I got a paper cut while opening my box of Band-Aids. FML

by irony / 08/16/2009 at 3:05am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I found out my husband had bought my 1-year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML

by ohgod / 08/14/2009 at 12:57pm / United States (Iowa) / Kids

Today, I found out that doctors can be wrong. Pink clothes, pink stroller, pink bottles, pink bibs, pink cribs and pink bedding to go with my baby that recently came out with a little pink penis. FML

by Ouch / 08/12/2009 at 7:36pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids

Today, I ran sound for my ex's wedding rehearsal since I was the only sound tech in town. Her dad was late for the rehearsal, so the pastor had me to walk her down the aisle. FML

by d.stack / 08/12/2009 at 7:14pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work

Today, I was in the car for 8 hours driving home from North Carolina with my family. We brought my dog along and I was petting her for most of the ride. I thought she fell asleep, so I continued to play with her. She never woke up. I played with a dead dog for almost an hour and a half. FML

by jennabean / 08/12/2009 at 12:13am / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, I was in the car for 8 hours driving home from North Carolina with my family. We brought my dog along and I was petting her for most of the ride. I thought she fell asleep, so I continued to play with her. She never woke up. I played with a dead dog for almost an hour and a half. FML

by jennabean / 08/12/2009 at 12:13am / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, I had to go to the police station to pick up my 42 year old dad. Why? He was caught stealing candy. FML

by ahhahaha / 08/11/2009 at 11:07pm / United States (New Mexico) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was home alone. I didn't expect anyone to be anywhere near home, so when I got out of the shower, I walked to the living room, naked, to get the tv remote for my room. Only to find the UPS guy standing at our glass front door. I screamed... so did he. FML

by Lilly_28 / 08/11/2009 at 10:01am / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the pool, casually flirting with one of the lifeguards. He said that he would gladly give me CPR, in the event that I needed it. I laughed and thanked him, stating that it was a sweet idea, even though I wouldn't be needing assistance. I then choked on my bottled water. FML

by Anonymous / 08/11/2009 at 4:58am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to Safeway. Go in, get stuff, come out, and I have almost no room to get into my car because an SUV was parked in a compact spot next to me all crooked. Irritated, I got a pen and paper and wrote 'Nice parking you F*ing idiot' and stuck it on the windshield. Then I notice someone was in the SUV. FML

by Amanda / 08/11/2009 at 1:52am / United States (Washington) / Transportation

Today, a patient was late for a psychiatry appointment, after having missed his previous two. I am the medical student on the team that was supposed to do his assessment. I said, "You snooze, you lose." Everyone stopped and looked at me. Apparently, he missed them because he has narcolepsy. FML

by psychedout / 08/10/2009 at 6:48pm / United States (Georgia) / Health