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storyteller07

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storyteller07
  • Town/Country : Poulsbo, WA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 4 November 1989 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 3931
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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storyteller07's favorite FMLs

Today, my cat head-butted me awake as usual. I reached to pet him, but it wasn't his face I touched. It was the still-twitching corpse of the disemboweled rat he held in his jaws. FML

#4781162
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31348) - you deserved it (3376)

On 08/24/2009 at 9:38am - animals - by CatLady (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I posted a status update on Facebook about how much I liked the Season Finale of NBC's "Heroes". My hand slipped to the right and it came out as "I really love Herpes. It's much better than everyone says it is". I didn't notice for few hours. FML

#4774065
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18922) - you deserved it (35607)

On 08/24/2009 at 12:28am - misc - by NotThatKind (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my son hit my husband's shop-vac while pulling into the garage too fast. He was grounded for 3 days. Later, while trying to demonstrate how to park safely, I hit my husband in his happy sacks with the mirror. FML

#4764613
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6989) - you deserved it (32946)

On 08/23/2009 at 7:00pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, in Burger King, I was leaning against the railing looking at the menu. I saw an old man using the rail to walk, so I got out of the way. He ran his hand across my back and said "You're so cute, I'd like to take you home and lock you in my basement naked so you can't leave" and walked out. FML

#4696975
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56919) - you deserved it (3249)

On 08/21/2009 at 12:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I was eating with a friend while walking on the sidewalk. A couple of pigeons were bothering us so I threw a fry onto the street. As a flock of pigeons were gathering around the fry, a truck drove by. Only four survived. FML

#4674126
327 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17384) - you deserved it (43664)

On 08/20/2009 at 2:22am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, a completely drunk girl walked across the bar and punched me in the face because I was wearing the same dress as her, and her boyfriend said it looked better on me. While I was screaming at her for being a stupid bitch, she puked all over me, wiped her mouth and laughed before she passed out. FML

#4661982
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55602) - you deserved it (3789)

On 08/19/2009 at 6:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was on a date with a guy, we were sitting in a restaurant having a fairly good conversation, when I had to go to the washroom. I left the table and when I came back, he was gone. Along with my wallet and car keys. FML

#4658498
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39104) - you deserved it (8909)

On 08/19/2009 at 3:44pm - love - by LifeFucksUsAll (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at WalMart, I saw a guy taping a sign that read "Hide and seek world champs!" over the lost children board. I chased him out of the store, then came back to take it down. As I was trying to remove the sign, a huge crowd began cursing at me and threatening me. They thought I'd made the sign. FML

#4651060
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40657) - you deserved it (4111)

On 08/19/2009 at 6:32am - misc - by Dude (man) - United States (California)

Today, at work while washing the dishes I was told to go put some things into the big freezer at the back of the store. While doing so, the door closed behind me, so naturally I pushed it, only to have my wet hands freeze to the door. I yelled to my manager for 10 minutes before help came. FML

#4650145
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37341) - you deserved it (4950)

On 08/19/2009 at 4:44am - work - by ohno. (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was driving my little sister to school. She really didn't wanna go and was throwing a tantrum in the car. When we stopped at a red light, my sister notices a police man giving a ticket to another driver. She rolled down her window and screamed "Help me! I'm being kidnapped by a murderer!" FML

#4644829
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60085) - you deserved it (2657)

On 08/19/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by Amara1717 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, when we change positions, he shouts: "Power Rangers - Transform!" FML

#4636801
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54828) - you deserved it (10824)

On 08/18/2009 at 7:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I received a text from my girlfriend to break up with me. I was upset. One minute later another text from her said "sorry, wrong person." FML

#4618484
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56551) - you deserved it (2870)

On 08/18/2009 at 1:06am - misc - by Anonymous - Kazakhstan (Almaty)

Today, I ran over a cat while driving home. I tried to keep myself together but couldn't help but cry because of how bad I felt. Through my tears I failed to notice a porcupine in the middle of the road. Yep, I hit him too. FML

#4618349
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43868) - you deserved it (13212)

On 08/18/2009 at 1:02am - animals - by anugla (woman) - United States (New York)



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