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storyteller07

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storyteller07

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 4 November 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4319
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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storyteller07's page activity

Visits<b>username666</b> - the 04/23/2009 at 11:22am<b>limabean3</b> - the 04/01/2009 at 12:52am<b>BaiRen</b> - the 03/31/2009 at 9:21pm<b>bananamanama</b> - the 03/31/2009 at 1:04am<b>Kira</b> - the 03/30/2009 at 11:12pm<b>LovelyCutiePie</b> - the 03/30/2009 at 10:33pm<b>unibrowicorn</b> - the 03/30/2009 at 9:23pm

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storyteller07's favorite FMLs

Today, I was working at a hospital-level rest home. I was making the rounds when I noticed a woman was sitting in her (electric) wheelchair in the middle of the hall. Going closer I saw her battery was flat so I said "Uh-oh! Looks like you've died." She bawled her eyes out and said "Not yet." FML

#5144800
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13951) - you deserved it (49723)

On 09/09/2009 at 5:58am - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Otago)

Today, I was walking on a busy street. I saw this beautiful blonde walking across the street and a car was coming. I wanted to be like in the movies where the guy pushes the girl out of the way so she doesn't get hit. I accidentally pushed her the wrong way. Right into the car. FML

#5107087
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12087) - you deserved it (71661)

On 09/07/2009 at 3:21pm - misc - by ilovefootball (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while riding in the car with my friends, we stopped at a red light. To our left, a very obese, middle aged man slowly unbuttoned his shirt and spread it out. He then stared at us while massaging his nipples with his thumb and index fingers for the duration of the red light. FML

#5034499
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45213) - you deserved it (5122)

On 09/04/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by Scarred (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while giving a lecture about gases to a large chemistry class, I went outside to let loose an unusualy loud fart while they took some notes. I came back in only to see 300 students dying of laughter. I had left the wireless mic on. FML

#5033555
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14340) - you deserved it (42053)

On 09/04/2009 at 12:30am - work - by DrGas (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was walking through my house when I saw a strange man sitting on my couch. I asked him who he was and he said he was a friend of my mom's. He told me to join him and when I sat down, he punched me in the face and stole my cell phone, wallet, and car keys. FML

#5021178
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56217) - you deserved it (21750)

On 09/03/2009 at 3:09pm - misc - by robbed (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was going to work and got in the elevator. I was going through my bag for my phone and asked the man in the elevator to push the button for me. He gave me a look of death before I realized he had no arms. FML

#4995727
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39974) - you deserved it (12281)

On 09/02/2009 at 9:01am - work - by elevatorjerk - United States

Today, my college roommate whom I've never met moved in. Good thing I wasn't completely naked, playing with myself on the couch when he walked in. That would've been awkward. FML

#4983449
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9170) - you deserved it (36743)

On 09/01/2009 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by mrboston (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to my five year old son picking off the scabs from his chicken pox and dropping them into my open mouth as I slept. FML

#4958000
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85814) - you deserved it (5123)

On 08/31/2009 at 6:05pm - kids - by beya (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

#4882481
345 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63092) - you deserved it (16023)

On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, on the train on the way to my mother's house, I was playing Mariokart with my son. He got a 'bomb' item, and yelled quite loudly, "I have a bomb!". Panic ensued. We got thrown off the train at the next stop. FML

#4874486
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47174) - you deserved it (6339)

On 08/28/2009 at 12:41am - kids - by mariokarter (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, at work, I was putting away clothes in the Men's department, when a guy came and started shopping in the aisle in front of me. He kept staring at me non-stop. Getting fed up, I said "What are you staring at?" Turns out he was wearing his sunglasses on the back of his head. FML

#4865635
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7749) - you deserved it (59617)

On 08/27/2009 at 7:00pm - work - by staringisrude (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was driving past a farm that always has 4 chickens walking around outside. It always cheers me up to see them, but I couldn't find them. I wasn't watching the road so I didn't see when I ran over all 4 chickens. FML

#4863125
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16277) - you deserved it (49178)

On 08/27/2009 at 4:53pm - animals - by chickenlover (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went for a jog. While passing by my neighbor's house, their six year old son started throwing peanuts at me screaming, "I hope this kills you!" because I'm allergic to peanuts. FML

#4820623
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51924) - you deserved it (3229)

On 08/25/2009 at 8:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, as I got into an elevator, I spotted a little old lady hobbling desperately to get on. I frantically tapped on the 'door open' button but the doors closed. I got dirty looks from the people in the lift, only then did I realise I had frantically tapped the 'door close' button instead. FML

#4805621
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22738) - you deserved it (30008)

On 08/25/2009 at 5:17am - misc - by ElevatorThug (man) - Singapore

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling after getting it on a few times. He holds my face in his hands, looks deep into my eyes and says "I smell chicken." FML

#4799049
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32943) - you deserved it (5566)

On 08/24/2009 at 11:34pm - love - by isoheartcaitlin (woman) - United States (Florida)



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