About stormchaser24 : *i have 92 FMLs because my idiot friend got on my computer and tried to post them.*
I strongly believe in the 2nd Amendment, and the Bill of Rights.
“The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. It is its natural manure.” — Thomas Jefferson
"If the American people ever allow private banks to control the issue of their currency, first by inflation, then by deflation, the banks and corporations that will grow up around them will deprive the people of all property until their children wake up homeless on the continent their Fathers conquered."
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42
You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.
Today, while driving home from school, I noticed one of our hot quarterbacks in the car behind me. Trying to impress him, I pulled into the driveway of an expensive-looking house. To my horror, he pulled in behind me and asked what I was doing at his house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8164) - you deserved it (45179)
On 03/21/2012 at 1:12pm - kids - by brooke (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I became a father. Unfortunately, my wife found out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6780) - you deserved it (99467)
On 03/10/2012 at 9:16pm - misc - by Major3 (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I went swimming in a pond. I came out covered in leeches. Terrified, I screamed, flailed about and cried out for help until half a dozen people ran over. One of them was kind enough to point out that those leeches I was so afraid of were actually patches of mud. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5755) - you deserved it (18220)
On 03/05/2012 at 8:36pm - misc - by asdfBUTT (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I faced down the Godzilla of all spiders. I smashed the goddamned holy shit out of it. Trying to impress my cute new roommate, I scooped up the remains and showed him. It was his pet tarantula. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16690) - you deserved it (17993)
On 03/04/2012 at 3:46pm - misc - by Hannah (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, the captain of my school's girls wrestling team asked me out. I politely declined. She angrily locked me in the trunk of my own car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26126) - you deserved it (4048)
On 02/26/2012 at 1:12am - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I managed to cut myself on a piece of chocolate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19695) - you deserved it (5983)
On 02/21/2012 at 10:33am - health - by mary (woman) - Australia
Today, as I was leaving for work, I discovered my neighbor had just passed away. I found out when I came across his body lying in my front yard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24054) - you deserved it (1256)
On 02/15/2012 at 6:53pm - misc - by Jedi2500 (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, it appears that it's Single Loser Awareness Day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18018) - you deserved it (4477)
On 02/14/2012 at 10:32am - love - by crazytown62 - United States
Today, I received a parking fine for $147. My car isn't even worth that much. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16608) - you deserved it (5041)
Today, my dad killed my pet rats. They were playing on the sofa, and he thought they were vermin. This would have been understandable if the reason he came over wasn't to meet them, and they hadn't been wearing bright pink walking harnesses. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20186) - you deserved it (4878)
On 02/03/2012 at 3:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)
Today, I learned how awful intertrigo smells. I spent a ton of money and years of my life to become a health care provider apparently to treat the yeast infection between an obese woman's fat folds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16201) - you deserved it (3385)
On 01/17/2012 at 8:39pm - work - by Sheliton (woman) - United States
Today, my Mom and I found out that we're allergic to the wood my Dad has been making fires with. She can't see, I can't breathe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18763) - you deserved it (1354)
On 12/24/2011 at 5:05pm - health - by AllergyRidden - United States (California)
Today, I was wanking and starting thinking about why the Simpsons are yellow, and how that came to be. I haven't been laid in 4 years and my ADD is so crippling that I can't jack off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23494) - you deserved it (4150)
On 12/21/2011 at 1:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I heard someone calling my name. It was my neighbor. Turns out they named their dogs after my mother, my sister and me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23762) - you deserved it (2670)
On 12/20/2011 at 6:49am - misc - by IHopeYourDogsGetDiarrheaAndPoopOnYourBed (woman) - Mauritius
Today, thanks to some asshole with a padlock, I got trapped in porta potty for over an hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24850) - you deserved it (1738)
On 12/19/2011 at 12:48pm - misc - by stinkyhair (man) - United States (Washington)
Monday 20 May 2013
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