About stormchaser24 : *i have 92 FMLs because my idiot friend got on my computer and tried to post them.*
I strongly believe in the 2nd Amendment, and the Bill of Rights.
“The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. It is its natural manure.” — Thomas Jefferson
"If the American people ever allow private banks to control the issue of their currency, first by inflation, then by deflation, the banks and corporations that will grow up around them will deprive the people of all property until their children wake up homeless on the continent their Fathers conquered."
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You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.
Today, I found out that using a certain hand sanitizer as masturbation lube will put you in the hospital and result in having to wear an adult diaper for a week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11101) - you deserved it (53562)
On 03/29/2011 at 2:28am - intimacy - by JJMan217 (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41755) - you deserved it (6421)
Today, I saw my dad's friend across the street working on my neighbor's roof. To continue the airsoft war we'd been having I shot at him with the sniper gun I bought. I hit him, and he fell off the roof. I ran over to see if he was ok. It wasn't my dad's friend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10372) - you deserved it (35339)
On 03/22/2011 at 12:31pm - misc - by FailedSniper (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I saw my dad's friend across the street working on my neighbor's roof. To continue the airsoft war we'd been having I shot at him with the sniper gun I bought. I hit him, and he fell off the roof. I ran over to see if he was ok. It wasn't my dad's friend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10372) - you deserved it (35339)
On 03/22/2011 at 12:31pm - misc - by FailedSniper (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I am taking a 16 hour flight. Five minutes in, the lady on one side has clipped her toenails onto me and the guy on the other side has the most horrific gas I have ever smelled. To help this problem he bought a cheese plate from the stewardess. 15 hours and 55 minutes to go. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29530) - you deserved it (2168)
On 03/21/2011 at 2:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)
TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30170) - you deserved it (24886)
On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)
Today, my girlfriend bought several bottles of Potassium Iodine pills and a gas mask, due to the radiation scare from Japan. We live in Texas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33367) - you deserved it (5485)
On 03/21/2011 at 12:25am - health - by radiationkillz (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I have a cat with separation anxiety. By this, I mean whenever I go in another room and shut the door with her outside, she uses her head as a battering ram to try and break down the door. It's fun trying to sleep too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23286) - you deserved it (4526)
On 03/18/2011 at 11:54am - animals - by nosleeptilpissoff (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, while sleeping, I heard an explosion. My neighbor then knocked on my door and informed me that he had just hit my car with shrapnel from a cannon. Not only do I not have a car to drive, but I also have to put this claim on my insurance due to my neighbor being on welfare. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22732) - you deserved it (1770)
On 03/05/2011 at 7:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Iowa)
Today, my father who left my family over 10 years ago and never contacted us or paid child support, poked me on Facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50372) - you deserved it (2888)
On 03/05/2011 at 7:24pm - misc - by poked - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I woke up after a night out drinking on my sofa, with an electric dog collar around my neck and handcuffs on my wrists. The keys were on the other side of the invisible doggy fence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10260) - you deserved it (25889)
On 02/28/2011 at 8:10pm - health - by stupiddrunk (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, to punish me for being hungover, my roommate blasted the bagpipe version of "Amazing Grace" through his stereo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9371) - you deserved it (23213)
On 02/26/2011 at 5:59pm - misc - by jm_track - United States (Montana)
Today, I found out why my cell phone has been going missing every night for the last few months. My sister has been "borrowing" it so she can hold it against her crotch and repeatedly push the vibrate button. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45910) - you deserved it (3689)
On 02/26/2011 at 3:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I looked in my mouse's cage and noticed a tiny weed growing. I've been trying to grow a garden for years to no avail. Even my mouse is a better gardener than I am. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16829) - you deserved it (8186)
On 02/24/2011 at 6:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I went to a haunted show restaurant. I needed the toilet badly, but they were inside the building, which could only be gotten to via a ghost train. The footage of me peeing myself in terror on the train was played on a big screen inside, in front of a crowd of onlookers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21631) - you deserved it (3416)
On 02/19/2011 at 10:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Friday 24 May 2013
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