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stitch23

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stitch23

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  • Number of visits : 111
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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stitch23's page activity

Visits<b>Lenny15Prezident</b> - the 07/05/2013 at 8:48am

stitch23's FML badges

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stitch23's favorite FMLs

Today, I had my driver's test in rural Maine. I hit a cow. FML

#20777070
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46817) - you deserved it (13191)

On 07/12/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, my dog decided to poop while inside a revolving door. Before I could do anything, the door swung around and smeared it everywhere. My dog excels at timing. FML

#20770214
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44159) - you deserved it (4210)

On 07/08/2013 at 7:19am - animals - by PerfectTiming - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I've come to the conclusion that my phone addiction is getting out of control after I typed my PIN code into the microwave. FML

#20754108
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25179) - you deserved it (35822)

On 06/29/2013 at 10:57am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, the weather was so hot that I couldn't stop sweating profusely while using the restroom. Ever slipped off the toilet seat and hit the floor hard due to ass-sweat? Not a pleasant experience. FML

#20750694
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47463) - you deserved it (5885)

On 06/27/2013 at 4:27pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I received 5 missed calls from a florist stating that they were having problems delivering a bouquet from my ex. I was thrilled at the idea of a reconciliation. Turns out however that he just got mine and his new girlfriend's phone numbers confused. FML

#20747907
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37246) - you deserved it (3257)

On 06/26/2013 at 3:09am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, my boss gave me an autographed photo of himself after he heard that I think he's intimidatingly attractive. FML

#20743881
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36968) - you deserved it (8680)

On 06/24/2013 at 1:20am - work - by myfavoritesgouda (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my husband finally returned from his 18-month deployment. Sexually starved, we wasted no time getting busy. Later as we finally cooled off, I got a message from my Aunt. She was hiding in our closet the whole time to surprise us with cake for his safe return. FML

#20743795
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79373) - you deserved it (7226)

On 06/24/2013 at 12:37am - intimacy - by jgtrflynn (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I decided to go buy myself a dildo to use on my lonely nights. Once at the adult store, I also grabbed a birthday card to make it seem the dildo wasn't for me. At the register, the cashier looked at me and said, "For God's sake, save yourself some money. I already know it's for you." FML

#20742274
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58602) - you deserved it (22866)

On 06/23/2013 at 6:38am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I again had to quietly sneak in through my bedroom window. I don't live with my parents. I go through my window because my cat thinks everyone who walks in through the door at night is a burglar or something and attacks them. FML

#20738804
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48165) - you deserved it (10141)

On 06/21/2013 at 10:28am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while running on the treadmill at the gym, I tried to wipe some sweat off my brow before it could make its way down into my eye. I ended up poking myself in the eye so hard that I yelped, stumbled and was thrown off the still-moving treadmill while trying to regain my balance. FML

#20738117
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37817) - you deserved it (6580)

On 06/20/2013 at 11:06pm - health - by Ouch (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out I'm going to be a grandfather. I'm 29, my son is 13 and the girl in question is 16. FML

#20731946
437 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59203) - you deserved it (37002)

On 06/17/2013 at 6:49pm - kids - by young grandpa - United States (Georgia)

Today, my husband of 3 years learned that he's going to be a father. No, I'm not pregnant. FML

#20726687
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62087) - you deserved it (3793)

On 06/15/2013 at 12:28am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found shit on my windshield. I'm not sure if it is human or animal, but it was conveniently smeared all over and even more was placed under my wipers just in case I used them to clean it up. This isn't the first time, and I have no idea who I could have pissed off. FML

#20694826
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47083) - you deserved it (3971)

On 05/30/2013 at 5:41am - misc - by windshitwipers (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate on the bathroom floor. Somehow my nose managed to start bleeding, so he bent me over the tub and kept going because he didn't want to "ruin the moment". FML

#20694473
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53470) - you deserved it (8999)

On 05/29/2013 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my workplace was issued aprons. I then became the first and only employee in the history of the business to set an apron on fire while using the grill. FML

#20693953
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33090) - you deserved it (5298)

On 05/29/2013 at 8:51pm - work - by CheesyCasey - United States (Michigan)



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