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Mobility
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Up and coming moderator
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Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5034) - you deserved it (22770)
On 03/12/2012 at 10:55am - misc - by gengiskarn69 (man) - United States
Today, while I was peacefully sleeping, I felt a hand suddenly slap my forehead. Then fingers began to press against my mouth, then nose, then eyes. I finally woke up to my girlfriend laughing hysterically. She'd confused me with her clock-radio. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20308) - you deserved it (2455) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I was driving when a guy in a truck swerved in front of me. I didn't realize I'd sworn until I'd come to a red light and my one year old daughter yelled her own version of what I said. She now yells "Chicken in the hole!" whenever the car comes to a stop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7787) - you deserved it (16809)
On 06/26/2011 at 4:47pm - kids - by Mommy - United States (Oregon)
Today, while I was sleeping, my girlfriend took my phone and set the ringtone to a bloodcurdling scream. I found this out when I received a call while driving to work and, thinking someone was being murdered in my backseat, I panicked and swerved into a parked car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31293) - you deserved it (3995)
On 06/01/2011 at 7:53am - misc - by iscreamforicecream (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I took my lunch break to buy my mom a pretty orchid. I took it to her apartment (to which I have a key), placed it on her coffee table with her card, and went back to work, pleased with my surprise. She called me later to ask why I got her a stick in a pot of dirt. Her cat ate the orchid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38740) - you deserved it (2530)
On 05/11/2009 at 12:06am - animals - by progressiveboink (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (461796) - you deserved it (573672)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Monday 20 May 2013
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