This member hasn't filled in the description.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, I realized I'm so desperate for money that I started to watch Breaking Bad to learn how to make meth. I stopped, not because I decided it was a bad idea, but because it looks too hard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5496) - you deserved it (15151)
On 10/23/2012 at 6:47pm - money - by Yo Mr. White! ... BETCH! - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate, and I gave her a condom to put on me. She tried to open it with her teeth, but ripped it. That was my only condom. I'm now sitting here watching a soap opera with a boner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22393) - you deserved it (7528)
On 10/23/2012 at 3:12pm - intimacy - by Andrew - United States
Today, I came home from college to find my favorite silk nightie that I had left behind being modeled by Bernie, the family dog. Nobody will admit to who put it on him. I don't know what's worse, that my family is a bunch of assholes, or that my nightie is big enough to fit a Saint Bernard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14461) - you deserved it (2285)
On 10/23/2012 at 2:05pm - misc - by nicedoggy (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, my dad was teaching me how to drive. He told me that stop signs with white outlines are "optional." I ran through the next one I saw and got pulled over by a cop. My dad is making me pay the ticket for being "that stupid." Thanks dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8037) - you deserved it (24394)
On 10/23/2012 at 9:19am - money - by Dinger1992 - United States
Today, my young son and I were in line at Subway. I guess he got bored and started to insult the teenage girl behind us. I tried to get him to stop, but he wouldn't listen. Eventually the girl punched him in the face and left. As my son cried uncontrollably, everyone else there clapped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6759) - you deserved it (36809)
On 10/23/2012 at 12:25am - kids - by Bratty son (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I came home to find an almost completely devoured cheesecake, The Notebook playing on the TV, and a shoe thrown at my head. It's safe to say my girlfriend is just about on her period. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20932) - you deserved it (4129)
On 10/22/2012 at 3:08pm - misc - by jesushelpme (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22260) - you deserved it (3161)
On 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm - kids - by thebeachisthatway (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I decided to show my friends the picture I drew, picturing the four of us in a zombie apocalypse setting. Turns out they never saw me as their friend and I'm creeping them out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19091) - you deserved it (6506)
On 10/22/2012 at 11:39am - misc - by Nana (woman) - Sweden (Vasterbottens Lan)
Today, while at a psychiatric hospital working as a student nurse, I discovered one of the patients had developed an unhealthy obsession for me. He was admitted for stalking and abusing a girl who looked just like me. It's only my first week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17650) - you deserved it (993)
On 10/22/2012 at 6:54am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, my dad asked me to clean the trash on our acreage. I was cleaning around the tree line when I came across a particularly heavy bag. I ran inside to ask my dad for help moving it. He looked inside the bag to see what it could be. It was a human body. Someone had thrown it over our fence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48424) - you deserved it (1782)
On 10/22/2012 at 3:45am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I overheard my boyfriend and his friends talking in the next room. I smiled when my boyfriend called me beautiful, only to hear his friend laugh and say, "C'mon, dude. She has fat ankles and smells like deli meat." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18101) - you deserved it (2342)
On 10/22/2012 at 1:29am - love - by sausagefingers (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, while my mother's blind friend was waiting in our kitchen for my mom to come home, I thought it would be funny to talk to her in the nude. Turns out she's only blind in one eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4144) - you deserved it (36210)
On 10/21/2012 at 8:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, while my mother's blind friend was waiting in our kitchen for my mom to come home, I thought it would be funny to talk to her in the nude. Turns out she's only blind in one eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4144) - you deserved it (36210)
On 10/21/2012 at 8:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, I tried to do my leaf collection project for biology, which ended with me being hospitalized because of an allergy attack. I have no idea what I'm allergic to, but my doctor says I should just assume I'm "allergic to all leaves, ever." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14111) - you deserved it (767)
On 10/21/2012 at 6:31am - health - by leaftheerickson (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my cat played dead just so I would leave him alone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13097) - you deserved it (3814)
On 10/21/2012 at 1:59am - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
