steggy97

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steggy97

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 23 February 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2628
  • Number of comments : 66
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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steggy97's page activity

Visits<b>ThatFancyGuy</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 9:57am<b>KJxFTW</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 3:23pm<b>silon5</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 3:58pm<b>LeeB</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 6:37am<b>spikey12</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 3:24pm<b>patchesOhoolihan</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 4:03pm<b>gamergirl47552</b> - the 10/29/2013 at 2:47am<b>CorinnaHEY</b> - the 06/08/2011 at 11:51pm<b>alimahlove</b> - the 05/08/2011 at 2:48pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 11:47am

steggy97's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

steggy97's favorite FMLs

Today, I was cooking with super hot ghost peppers. The package said "After handling them not to touch your eyes, nose or pets". They should've added "penis" to that list. FML

by Anonymous / 01/06/2012 at 9:22pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, I saw my neighbor's Christmas tree they had put up on their porch, with decorative presents under it. Being that my neighbors hate me, I figured I would take a present to piss them off. While walking back home with the present, I opened it. Inside it read "I knew you would, douche bag." FML

by lebato97 / 12/08/2011 at 10:35pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, while stuck in a traffic jam, my son silently changed my gear to reverse. FML

by Anonymous / 03/09/2011 at 4:52am / India (Karnataka) / Kids

Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML

by Malakai / 02/02/2011 at 12:57am / United States / Kids

Today, while my boyfriend and I were fighting in the car, I paused to take a bite of my burrito. Just at that moment, he slammed on the brakes, causing me to deepthroat my burrito. I threw up all over myself. He won the argument. FML

by serendipity1027 / 10/30/2010 at 9:40am / Love

Today, I found out that my best friend lost her virginity to my father. Her excuse? She was drunk. His excuse? "She's hot." FML

by Anonymous / 10/29/2010 at 9:21pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, I was sitting in a lecture about the history of the KKK and the problems it has caused, when the weirdest and quietest kid leans over my shoulder and says "I'd burn you first..." and winks. FML

by racist / 10/15/2010 at 2:00am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, to spice things up a bit my wife and I were having sex in our kitchen. She was up on the counter and I moved her over to get in a better position. The stove was still hot from dinner so now my wife has a burn that looks like a double rainbow on her ass. FML

by EffinAhole / 10/03/2010 at 12:27am / Intimacy

Today, I picked up my four year old son from daycare. As I was putting him in his car seat, I asked him if he had fun. He yelled, "Shut it, bitch!" FML

by blah blah daddy / 10/02/2010 at 7:08pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I got a text from my ex: "I miss you." I was happy to hear this, so I replied "Really?" I got in return "Not really, I'm just really horny and thinking of you." FML

by rawr101 / 10/02/2010 at 2:25am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, when I stopped at a light, I tossed a banana peel into a field along the side of the road. The man behind me got out of his car, picked up the banana peel and threw it back into my car at me. When I tried to tell him it was biodegradable, he told me to "stop making up words." FML

by Anonymous / 10/01/2010 at 9:47am / United Kingdom / Transportation

Today, I was on an airplane, riding in first class for the first time in my life. The man next to me turned to me just before takeoff, stared at my chest, and said that he hoped there would be severe turbulence. FML

by huj / 09/25/2010 at 5:49pm / United States (Texas) / Transportation

Today, I was watching TV with my grandpa, and he stopped flipping channels on a movie with a hot naked chick getting oiled down. Suddenly the remote landed on my stomach as my mom and grandma walked in. They yelled at me for being a pervert for an hour, while my grandpa sat and chuckled. FML

by Andrew / 09/24/2010 at 6:22am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, after I got off work, as I walked into the house, I noticed something running across the floor towards me and out of complete terror I kicked it halfway across my living room, not knowing what it was. Turns out it was my roommate's new puppy. FML

by nackpattywhackgiveadogabone / 09/23/2010 at 7:01am / United States (Arizona) / Animals

Today, I found out I'm being sued by the man whose life I practically saved a month ago. He says the way I pulled him out of the car he was trapped in has left him with permanent back problems. FML