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steadycreepin's favorite FMLs
Today, my 20-year-old son's external hard-drive stopped working. He's crying on my shoulder now, not because of the movies, porn, work, or music he probably lost, but because of the now irretrievable complete series of Digimon that he'd collected. FML
by OytoBeAfather / 05/15/2012 at 11:05pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by stoggie96 / 04/22/2012 at 11:34am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by Were do we go... / 04/15/2012 at 12:24am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I posted on Facebook saying I'm in a new relationship. One of my buddies said, "You're cheating on Jill?" My girlfriend saw this and went completely nuts, not giving me a chance to explain that "Jill" is just a euphemism for your hand. FML
by jackmehoffa / 04/03/2012 at 2:10pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love
by ari / 03/19/2012 at 1:49am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was browsing some hardcore porn sites. My mum decided to barge into my room uninvited, so I quickly switched tabs. Unfortunately for me, all five other tabs were also parked on porn galleries. Now my computer and phone are confiscated, and I can only get online at the local library. FML
by waitwhat / 03/18/2012 at 4:46pm / United Kingdom (Bournemouth) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was masturbating, and out of the corner of my eye I saw a figure. It was my neighbor staring at me through the window with a total look of disgust. I moved in this weekend and hadn't yet introduced myself to her. FML
by Anonymous / 03/14/2012 at 3:31pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 03/14/2012 at 3:33am / United States (California) / Transportation
Today, I found out that my resume contained the word "masturbation" in the skills section, courtesy of a practical joke by my best friend. I have been using this CV unsuccessfully for over two months. FML
by Anonymous / 03/13/2012 at 8:51am / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Intimacy
Today, my grandparents visited. My grandpa kept getting off the couch and walking around to "stretch his legs." He kept kicking out my computer's network cable and messing up my game, smirking each time he did it. When I complained, my mom told me to shut up and show some respect. FML
by Anonymous / 03/12/2012 at 10:04pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/10/2012 at 2:23am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, I was the 10th caller on a radio show. I answered the question correctly. The DJ informed I won a free air guitar of my choosing. I yelled with excitement over the air. The DJ then instructed me how to use my new air guitar. FML
by h4rdy / 03/09/2012 at 11:55am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/09/2012 at 10:14am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by Crying / 02/29/2012 at 3:21pm / United States (Michigan) / Geek
Today, after a nice swim at the local pool, I ran into a naked girl in the showers. She screamed, kicked me in the nuts and ran off. I still have no clue what she was doing in the men's shower room. FML
by ouch / 02/29/2012 at 2:18pm / Italy (Emilia-Romagna) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was… Today, I told my son off because he lost a form. A form that I later found in my right-hand pocket.… Today, I’m teaching French in a university in India. One of the students asked me if Paris was the…